In this episode of the Four Intimacies podcast, Zoë Malcolm delves into the concept of sexual attraction and intimacy, including how it differs from intellectual, emotional and physical intimacies, even though all require curiosity, honesty and playfulness. She explores sexual attraction and intimacy as an awakening of self-discovery. The conversation explores gender roles and expression, as well as orientation as a birthright that gets to shine. The episode ends with Zoë emphasizing ownership of sexual expression, as well as consent and body-awareness as paths to healing.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction: Intimacy and Connection

01:50 Review of Previous Episodes and Intimacies

02:45 Sexual Attraction: Gender, Orientation, Expression

04:24 Sexual Attraction as An Awakening

07:29 Sexual Intimacy as Mutual and Self-Discovery

12:30 A Note on Asexuality

12:57 Sexual Intimacy and Body Awareness

15:50 Sexual Intimacy is Not The Same. Own It.

17:22 Sexual Intimacy as Healing

18:13 There Are No Hierarchies in Intimacy

18:39 Journal Prompts & Final Words

Journal Prompts

1. Of all the keywords - between curiosity, honesty and playfulness – which ones have been the easiest for you when it comes to sexual intimacy? How does it feel in your body – when it is easy?

2. Which of the keywords have been the hardest? How does it feel in your body when it is “difficult”? What do you think you need for it to become easier?

3. Do you have a memory of when either curiosity, honesty or playfulness first became easy during sexual intimacy? How did that feel in your body? What did you learn about yourself? What did you learn about them?

4. Do you trust yourself when it comes to sexual intimacy? Where do you or don’t you trust yourself? Do you know why?

5. Do you trust your partner, or yourself, to be curious, honest or playful during sex? Do you know why – for either of you?

6. How does it feel to come up with a plan, or a date, around this idea of curiosity, honesty and playfulness? What would your ideal version of this be?

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