What does love and romance look like when we are older? How does it change over time? What are the hurdles to overcome? The month of February brings Valentine’s Day and a highly romantic notion of love with it. As two older couples who have collectively been married for 96 years, we talk about how love has grown and changed over those years. Citing respect, companionship and a deep understanding of the other person, love becomes broader in perspective and more subtle in its demonstration. Finding ways to keep the balance in the face of health issues and adapting to physical changes is one aspect of love, while maintaining a sense of humour in the face of all changes is another. It doesn’t mean there aren’t challenges, there are many, but asking the question, “What is going on?” helps us to get to the underlying irritants, as does taking a time out from each other now and again. We need a community to help us grow older in love as a couple and engaging others along our journey helps us to gain perspective and feel supported.

Seniors in the Building returns for Season 3! After a short break we begin with an episode on time.

How do we understand time? How is time both fact and fiction? The universe unfolds in its own time while we humans create all kinds of constructs around time like a 24-hour clock, calendars and deadlines. When we retire, we move from those constructs into a more fluid, universal sense of time. We may struggle to find the balance between establishing enough structure to shape our days while maintaining the flexibility to be spontaneous and free of constraints. We may focus more on using our energy gaining experiences, moving away from the learning aspects of an earlier time in our lives. We have a sense of ourselves through many generations as part of the whole of our history. Time is stolen with illness when managing health issues fills our time and narrows our focus. We are grateful for the time we have and every year, month, day is a gift. We are also grateful to our technical expert for figuring out how to record and post this while we are in two separate countries. Listen to our episode on time.

Forgiveness is a lifelong journey. Our perspective on forgiveness changes over time and when carrying our woundedness takes up too much space in our lives, we look to let go of it. What does it take to be free of the anger and hurt that we have brought along with us? Is forgiveness different than letting go? Can you forgive without reconciliation? How do we heal broken relationships? It is not always possible to forgive and reconcile, which makes letting go more difficult. Looking for a wider perspective helps and we explore the words of Rolo May, a 20th century existential psychologist, “No person is reducible to their worst act, just as we hope not to be reduced to our worst act”. Our discussion finds us reflecting on our efforts so far to experience freedom from resentments and bitterness. It takes courage to address the need to have closure on relationships and the older we get the more urgent it becomes to take the risk.

*Please note that Ellie, our pet, wanted to engage in this conversation so there are a few low level barks and pitter patting of paws included for your entertainment.