Okay friends! It’s Friday night, I’m solo parenting, one kid asleep, one doing that thing where you think they’re asleep but they’re not… so here we are.

I chat about what’s been going on, starting my diploma of counselling, slowly building my website, picking up nannying/babysitting to help with the cost of living, and getting excited for a Bali trip (which honestly feels very needed).

Then I get into intimacy after kids.

Because it changes. HEAPS.

And it ain't just because you’re “not trying hard enough” but because you’re exhausted, your hormones are all over the place, you might be breastfeeding, you’re touched out, your body feels different, and half the time your brain is running through a mental checklist of everything that still needs to be done.

And if your partner isn’t really sharing that load… it’s hard not to feel a bit resentful.

I read through some of your messages (which gave so many perspectives!), and talk about what’s actually helped for us.. not from a place of authority but just sharing, ya know.

Things like: communicating without it turning into a dig actually asking for what you need finding connection during the day instead of waiting until you’re both wrecked at night little resets like a six-second kiss checking in with each other beyond just “what’s for dinner tomorrow” and even just admitting when things feel off

and also… sometimes getting extra support if you’re really stuck!

It’s not about forcing it or “getting back to normal” it’s more like figuring out what connection looks like now.

Let me know what you think. Find me over at @doulamarley @becomingboth I would love to connect xx