Shame, guilt, and addiction don’t have to define your story.

In this episode, Donna Marston welcomes Dr. Tom Horvath, a board-certified clinical psychologist, co-founder of SMART Recovery, and pioneer in science-based addiction support. Together, they explore the role of shame and guilt, why recovery is not one-size-fits-all, and how families can support a loved one without losing themselves in the process.

Dr. Horvath shares decades of insight on self-empowered recovery, alternatives to the traditional “rock bottom” narrative, and practical tools families can use to create healthier dynamics. This conversation offers hope, clarity, and reassurance for anyone navigating addiction, whether personally or through someone they love.

Topics Covered:

- The difference between shame and guilt and how each impacts recovery

- Why there are many valid pathways to recovery

- SMART Recovery vs. 12-step programs

- The importance of choice and self-empowerment in healing

- How families can support recovery without controlling it

- Common myths about addiction and “rock bottom”

- Practical ways to communicate with a loved one in treatment

- Building a meaningful life beyond addiction

About the Guest

Dr. Tom Horvath is a board-certified clinical psychologist, Navy veteran, and internationally recognized expert in addiction recovery. He is the co-founder and former president of SMART Recovery, a science-based, self-empowering recovery network, and the founder of Practical Recovery in San Diego. Dr. Horvath is also the author of Sex, Drugs, Gambling, and Chocolate, a practical workbook for overcoming addictive behaviors.

Quotes:

“A little guilt can help us change, but too much shame keeps us stuck.”

“Recovery works best when people have a choice.”

“There isn’t one right way to recover, only the way that works for you.”

🔗 Guest Resources:

Website: https://smartrecovery.org/

👉 Learn more about Donna’s work and resources at ⁠sharingwithoutshame.com⁠

Grab my free "5 Boundaries and Breakthrough" Guide. here: ⁠https://sharing-with-out-shame.kit.com/690016dc78⁠

Sponsors:

Experience Inner Peace with Calming Therapy Bracelets

Website: ⁠⁠https://snappbandz.com/⁠

Use SWOS or SharingWithoutShame code

Learn more: ⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/Sharingwithoutshame⁠⁠

Thank you for tuning in! May your faith and strength heal your heart.

In this episode of Sharing Without Shame, Donna Marston sits down with Anne Peshka to explore how trauma, shame, addiction, and grief can be transformed into healing, purpose, and gratitude.

Anne shares her powerful life story, including childhood trauma, addiction, recovery, motherhood, grief, and the moment she realized she was worth fighting for. Together, Donna and Anne have a compassionate, real conversation about letting go of labels, releasing shame, and learning how to truly hold space for ourselves and the people we love.

✨ Topics Covered:

- How childhood trauma fuels shame and addiction

- Why substances are a Band-Aid—and healing starts with the “why”

- Releasing labels like “addict,” “victim,” and “survivor”

- Grieving the living and loving without control

- The importance of boundaries vs. unhealthy helping

- What it really means to “hit your enough”

- Turning pain into purpose and trauma into wisdom

- Learning to believe you are worthy of a good life

💛 Key Takeaway:

Healing begins when shame is brought into the light—and when you start believing you are worth the fight.

🔗 Guest Resources:

Book: Trauma, Recycled (available in print and audiobook) https://annepeshka.com/book/

Website: https://annepeshka.com/

👉 Learn more about Donna’s work and resources at ⁠sharingwithoutshame.com⁠

Grab my free "5 Boundaries and Breakthrough" Guide. here: ⁠https://sharing-with-out-shame.kit.com/690016dc78⁠

Sponsors:

Experience Inner Peace with Calming Therapy Bracelets

Website: ⁠⁠https://snappbandz.com/⁠

Use SWOS or SharingWithoutShame code

Learn more: ⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/Sharingwithoutshame⁠⁠

Thank you for tuning in! May your faith and strength heal your heart.

In this episode of Sharing Without Shame, Donna Marston welcomes Darlene Lancer, licensed marriage and family therapist, author, and internationally recognized expert on codependency, shame, and emotional healing.

With over 30 years of clinical experience, Darlene shares how shame often sits at the core of addiction, codependency, anxiety, depression, and unhealthy family dynamics—and why healing symptoms alone isn’t enough.

Together, Donna and Darlene explore how childhood experiences shape adult relationships, how families unintentionally pass down shame, and why setting boundaries is essential for both recovery and peace.

In this episode, we discuss:

- The difference between shame and guilt and why it matters

- How childhood emotional suppression fuels codependency

- Why addiction is often a form of self-soothing, not rebellion

- The connection between shame, anxiety, and perfectionism

- How families absorb and carry shame around addiction

- Why enabling feels like love but often causes harm

- Detachment, boundaries, and letting others experience consequences

- Gaslighting, loss of self-trust, and emotional survival in addiction

- Why healing must address the emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical self

Darlene also shares practical insights on recognizing inner criticism, rebuilding self-esteem, and beginning the process of releasing long-held shame.

About the Guest:

Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT is the author of Codependency For Dummies, Conquering Shame and Codependency, Dating, Loving, and Leaving a Narcissist, and several workbooks and healing resources.

Connect with Darlene:

Darlene Lancer: https://darlenelancer.com/

What is Codependency: https://whatiscodependency.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/codependencyrecovery/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/darlenelancerlmft/

👉 Learn more about Donna’s work and resources at ⁠sharingwithoutshame.com⁠

Grab my free "5 Boundaries and Breakthrough" Guide. here: ⁠https://sharing-with-out-shame.kit.com/690016dc78⁠

Sponsors:

Experience Inner Peace with Calming Therapy Bracelets

Website: ⁠⁠https://snappbandz.com/⁠

Use SWOS or SharingWithoutShame code

Learn more: ⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/Sharingwithoutshame⁠⁠

Thank you for tuning in! May your faith and strength heal your heart.