Cindy Esliger discusses the difference between being good at our jobs and being easy to work with in this episode. Self-awareness is the key to career growth, and it’s not just about knowing our strengths or how we like to work. It’s about understanding how our behavior impacts others and how we’re perceived. Cindy breaks down exactly what true self-awareness looks like and why it matters more than ever. The value of accepting feedback and being easy to work with are things many of us underestimate, but which will open more doors in the long run.

There are two types of people in the world: those who think they’re self-aware and those who actually are. Those who only think they are tend not to have any idea of the impact of their actions on others. Behavior blindness is real. Cindy outlines five unpleasant consequences of not paying attention to what it’s like to work with ourselves: 1. Stalled career growth, 2. Damaged relationships, 3. Lack of critical feedback, 4. Reputational damage, and 5. Missed opportunities. If we want people to want to work with us, we have to make it a painless experience.

Being easy to work with involves following instructions, being on time, and not making things harder than they should be. External self-awareness, knowing how we’re perceived, is just as important as internal self-awareness and knowing ourselves. Cindy shares five strategies to make self-awareness easier to build: 1. Compare perceptions with actual outcomes, 2. Ask for feedback early and often, 3. Be coachable, 4. Challenge our assumptions, and 5. Practice perspective-taking. We have the power to build reputations that open doors and make people want to work with us.

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide to Understanding Your Impact
• Astronomic Audio
• Confidence Collective

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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Cindy Esliger explores regret, the unpleasant emotion we’d rather forget about that can actually help us grow and gain clarity. Regret isn’t a sign that something is wrong with us; it’s actually a sign that things matter to us. It alerts us to something that didn’t align or that still needs our attention. So if we learn to acknowledge regret, it can be a catalyst for transformation. Cindy offers insight into defining, understanding, and dealing with regret so it can become a useful tool in career advancement.

Regret tends to be quite uncomfortable, so we avoid revisiting it. However, there are consequences to not reckoning with our regret, and Cindy identifies four of them: 1. Career stagnation, 2. Chronic dissatisfaction, 3. Low self-trust, and 4. People-pleasing paralysis. Cindy points out that when we dare to examine our regrets, we can turn them into strategic fuel for career growth. She names three ways we can start: 1. Reflect on past regrets, 2. Anticipate potential future regrets before making a decision, and 3. Recognize the lessons in our regrets.

Author Dan Pink identifies four kinds of regrets: foundation regrets, boldness regrets, moral regrets, and connection regrets. Understanding these can help us realize that regret does not necessarily point to something done wrong, but rather that something was challenging or we were at a crossroads. Cindy shares five powerful ways to harness the value of regret without getting stuck in it: 1. Use the future self test, 2. Sort the decisions that actually matter, 3. Reframe mistakes as data points, 4. Set our own bar, and 5. Practice self-compassion. The goal is to work with our regrets instead of against them.

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide to Turning Regret Into Career Clarity
• Astronomic Audio
• Confidence Collective

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Cindy Esliger puts the spotlight on people-pleasing and conflict avoidance in the workplace, exploring how to stop playing small to please others. If we don’t define what we want from our careers, others decide what we deserve, and we end up settling for that. We deserve better, though, and Cindy explains the cost of staying silent about our needs. She offers ways to shift from reacting to responding, how to set boundaries without guilt, and how to communicate assertively.

There is a cost to simply going with the flow and refusing to make waves. Being easygoing isn’t a strength in every situation. We need to set our own boundaries and make our needs heard. Cindy outlines five of the most common consequences of not doing this: 1. Chronic resentment, 2. Identity stagnation, 3. Invisible contributions, 4. Doing great work just earns more work, and 5. Muddled communication. We’re conditioned to think that accommodating others makes us better colleagues, but what it actually does is teach others that our time and energy are up for negotiation.

If we’re feeling obliged to say yes, saying sure and rearranging our schedules, waiting to be recognized without advocating for ourselves, thinking our needs and wants are too much, or thinking people should just know what we need, then we’re already in the trap of people-pleasing and letting others decide our path. Cindy shares five strategies on how to ask for more without burning bridges in the process: 1. Shift from reacting to responding, 2. Name what we actually want, 3. Communicate clearly, 4. Set boundaries and stick to them, and 5. Repair, don’t resent. The key to change isn’t becoming louder or more aggressive; it’s in becoming more intentional.

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide to Laying Claim to What You Want
• Astronomic Audio
• Confidence Collective

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.