The Saint of Holy Groveling, the Hungover Mystic, and a deep, aching longing for God

Jack Kerouac is remembered as the voice of the open road, speed, freedom, and excess, yet beneath the motion lived a deep spiritual loneliness. He carried an intense longing for God that pleasure, travel, and rebellion never resolved. The party always ended in sadness. The road always circled back home. Formed by Catholic prayer, haunted by sin and grace, and bound to his mother in a small house far from the myth, Kerouac lived as a strange solitary mystic, restless for God and unable to escape the ache of faith that followed him everywhere.

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Contact: subversiveorthodoxy@gmail.com

Instagram: @subversiveorthodoxy

Host: Travis Mullen Instagram: @manartnation

Co-Host: Robert L. Inchausti, PhD, is Professor Emeritus of English at California Polytechnic State University, San Luis Obispo, and is the author of numerous books, including Subversive Orthodoxy, Thomas Merton's American Prophecy, The Spitwad Sutras, and Breaking the Cultural Trance. He is, among other things, a Thomas Merton authority, and editor of the Merton books Echoing Silence, Seeds, and The Pocket Thomas Merton. He's a lover of the literature of those who challenge the status quo in various ways, thus, he has had a lifelong fascination with the Beats.

Book by Robert L. Inchausti "Subversive Orthodoxy: Outlaws, Revolutionaries, and Other Christians in Disguise" Published 2005, authorization by the author.

Intro & Outro Music by Noah Johnson & Chavez the Fisherman, all rights reserved.

We trace existentialism from Kierkegaard’s pivot to the single individual before God to the secular push for meaning without God, then test what still helps in a noisy, anxious culture. We offer a grounded practice of stillness and a challenge to choose rather than drift.

• what existentialism means and why it endures
• Kierkegaard’s shift from systems to the single individual before God
• Nietzsche, Heidegger, Sartre, and Camus in brief
• existence precedes essence and its cultural echoes
• subjectivity as owned truth, not private whim
• despair as the self refusing to be itself before God
• the leap of faith as passionate trust when guarantees end
• gifts to keep: honesty about anxiety, critique of the herd, real decisions
• risks without God: radical autonomy and thin hope
• a practical stillness exercise to cultivate the inner life

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Send us a text

Support the show

Contact: subversiveorthodoxy@gmail.com

Instagram: @subversiveorthodoxy

Host: Travis Mullen Instagram: @manartnation

Co-Host: Robert L. Inchausti, PhD, is Professor Emeritus of English at California Polytechnic State University, San Luis Obispo, and is the author of numerous books, including Subversive Orthodoxy, Thomas Merton's American Prophecy, The Spitwad Sutras, and Breaking the Cultural Trance. He is, among other things, a Thomas Merton authority, and editor of the Merton books Echoing Silence, Seeds, and The Pocket Thomas Merton. He's a lover of the literature of those who challenge the status quo in various ways, thus, he has had a lifelong fascination with the Beats.

Book by Robert L. Inchausti "Subversive Orthodoxy: Outlaws, Revolutionaries, and Other Christians in Disguise" Published 2005, authorization by the author.

Intro & Outro Music by Noah Johnson & Chavez the Fisherman, all rights reserved.

We trace Dostoevsky’s polyphonic craft through the Karamazov brothers, probe Ivan’s moral revolt, and unpack the Grand Inquisitor’s claim that people prefer miracle, mystery, and authority to freedom. A silent kiss, not an argument, becomes the counter-move to control.

• polyphony as method and why it matters
• Dimitri, Ivan, and Alyosha as desire, reason, and heart
• Ivan’s scrapbook of atrocities and moral revolt
• the Grand Inquisitor’s temptations reframed as policy
• miracle, mystery, and authority versus freedom
• silence and the kiss as theological reply
• modern echoes in state, church, and corporations
• addiction, whim, and the comfort trap
• Alyosha’s empathy and service over control
• letters, criticism, and Dostoevsky’s craft choices

What if the deepest challenge to faith isn’t disbelief but the demand that God justify a world where children suffer? We sit with that fire as we step into The Brothers Karamazov, mapping the novel’s polyphony across Dmitri’s desire, Ivan’s relentless moral outrage, and Alyosha’s tender, tested faith under Father Zosima’s guidance. Rather than flatten the story into heroes and villains, we follow how each voice carries real weight—and how living with that tension becomes the point.

Ivan’s parable, The Grand Inquisitor, takes center stage. In it, Christ returns during the Spanish Inquisition and remains silent while a cardinal explains why the church will burn him: people don’t want freedom; they want miracle, mystery, and authority. Bread instead of responsibility. Spectacle instead of trust. Power instead of love. It’s a devastating argument precisely because it sounds familiar. Swap robes for suits or slogans and you can hear the Inquisitor in modern bureaucracies, cults of personality, corporate paternalism, and any system that buys our conscience with comfort.

So what counters a totalizing logic of control? Dostoevsky’s answer isn’t a debate point—it’s a kiss. A silent act that refuses the terms of coercion. We trace how Alyosha can voice rage against injustice and still move toward reconciliation, how addiction to whim becomes its own tyranny, and why service clarifies where control only clouds. Along the way we connect the novel’s themes to today’s tensions: trading agency for safety, mistaking certainty for truth, and confusing power with wisdom.

This conversation aims to do what the book does—train moral imagination, not hand out easy answers. If you’ve ever felt caught between justice and mercy, or wondered whether freedom is too heavy to carry, you’ll find language and stories here that help you keep going wit

Send us a text

Support the show

Contact: subversiveorthodoxy@gmail.com

Instagram: @subversiveorthodoxy

Host: Travis Mullen Instagram: @manartnation

Co-Host: Robert L. Inchausti, PhD, is Professor Emeritus of English at California Polytechnic State University, San Luis Obispo, and is the author of numerous books, including Subversive Orthodoxy, Thomas Merton's American Prophecy, The Spitwad Sutras, and Breaking the Cultural Trance. He is, among other things, a Thomas Merton authority, and editor of the Merton books Echoing Silence, Seeds, and The Pocket Thomas Merton. He's a lover of the literature of those who challenge the status quo in various ways, thus, he has had a lifelong fascination with the Beats.

Book by Robert L. Inchausti "Subversive Orthodoxy: Outlaws, Revolutionaries, and Other Christians in Disguise" Published 2005, authorization by the author.

Intro & Outro Music by Noah Johnson & Chavez the Fisherman, all rights reserved.