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Have you ever pretended not to care when you actually did? Welcome to the puzzling world of "too cool culture" in modern dating, where emotional detachment is somehow considered a strength and vulnerability a weakness.

From personally playing the "cool girl" with an army sergeant who invalidated my feelings to dating a man in an open marriage who expected exclusivity from me (the irony!), I've learned firsthand that hiding your authentic self only leads to pain. This episode dives into why we're all so afraid to show we care, and how the fear of rejection drives us to create connections built on performance rather than truth.

Social media and trends like "hot girl summer" have conditioned us to believe that catching feelings is something to avoid, but what if vulnerability is actually the uncut gem we're all searching for? I'm challenging the notion that being emotionally unavailable is attractive, and making the case that authentic connection requires courage - the courage to send that text when you want to (not when it's "strategic"), to express genuine interest, and to have honest conversations about expectations.

Whether you're trying to figure out why your date hasn't texted back for three days or you're wondering if you should tell someone how you really feel, this episode is a reminder that in a world where everyone's afraid to care too much, those brave enough to be emotionally available are the ones building relationships with meaning. Ready to stop pretending and start connecting? Listen in, and let's get real about dating.

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xoxo Jan

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After a year-long hiatus that tested her spirit, Janice makes a vulnerable return to the Sure Jan Podcast with raw honesty about her journey through job loss, depression, and the crushing weight of imposter syndrome. What began as a professional setback spiraled into an emotional struggle that left her questioning her worth and purpose – a deeply human experience many of us can relate to when life suddenly veers off course.

In this comeback episode, Janice doesn't just scratch the surface; she dives deep into the complicated emotions of rejection both professionally and romantically. From hiding her unemployment from friends out of shame to navigating the awkward aftermath of casual hookups (including the hilariously mortifying story behind her new nickname for a recurring character: "Tippy Toes"), her authenticity shines through every confession.

The heart of this episode explores the paralyzing fear of rejection that shapes our dating experiences. Janice brilliantly articulates the internal dialogue that keeps her from approaching attractive men at bars, while also examining the added complexities of dating as a Black woman. Her reflections on wanting to experience her "soft girl era" – finding someone who allows her vulnerability instead of requiring constant strength – resonates powerfully against the backdrop of society's expectations.

Perhaps most surprisingly, Janice shares how finding hope came from an unexpected source: her first parasocial relationship with a Love Island USA couple. Seeing authentic representation of a Black woman being genuinely cherished gave her a template for the love she deserves, proving that inspiration can find us in the most unexpected places when we're rebuilding ourselves.

Whether you're navigating your own comeback story, struggling with dating insecurities, or simply seeking authentic conversation about the messier parts of life, this episode reminds us that our most challenging seasons often lead to our greatest growth. Join Janice as she reclaims her voice and invites you to reconnect on this journey through dating, pop culture, and the beautiful chaos of being human in your thirties.

The clip I was referring too:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcdinPapMZw --Soul Ties Kiss

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Rex86hix2M- WWHL appearance appreciation of her man and this clip had me bawling lol

xo

Jan

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xoxo Jan

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Hello Beautiful People!
Its been a minute but your girl is back , for real this time lol! In this episode I give you a small update on why I was away . Also we talk about breadcrumbing and why it has been infiltrating the dating world in 2024! Learn some signs on how to avoid being breadcrumbed! As always happy to be back , I missed yall :)

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xoxo Jan

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Hello Loves,
Long time no talk, well I have been absent for a bit but your girl is back! We talk about an update on what's going on with me and my current dating life. I also get into how annoying it is as we get older the pressure of already having it figured out with marriage and children. Grab some liquor or a joint and lets get deep!

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xoxo Jan

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Hello My Loves!
We are really officially back, your girl has been extremely busy and life has just been a lot! So much to catch up on and lets get into that. The new slang word delulu has been my favorite word lately and of course I am going to share it with my favorites.

Sit Back , Relax, Grab a beverage and lets be delulu together :)

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xoxo Jan

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Hello everyone ,
I’m back !!! In this episode it’s a mini catchup/ therapy session so let’s catch up with your fav host

Xoxo

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xoxo Jan

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Hello Everyone!
Happy New Year my loves! Hope you notice something different in the beginning . Yes we starting the new year with a new intro and more episodes this year. I am holding my ass accountable and that means getting you guys more episodes this year. Lets do it! In this episode to start the new year we talk about dating in a new body. I will say during this pandemic your girl did gain some weight and I will not lie , it messed with my confidence on how I viewed myself in this dating world. I talk about the good and the ugliness of dating in a different body.

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xoxo Jan

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Hello Eveyone,
Lets get down to this title because dating right now is not doing what is needs to be doing. Because baby I am tired of these wack guys and the dating pool that has pee in it.

Lets dive in and take several shots, I know I did.

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Connect with Jan:

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email: surejanpodcast@gmail.com
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xoxo Jan