You think you know me. You don't know this version.

In Episode 5 I finally brought on my first guest, my childhood best friend Alexa, the one person on earth who has seen me through literally every season. The bratty middle schooler. The wild high schooler. The girl who should have ended up dead or pregnant but somehow didn't. The woman who couldn't accept a compliment. And the mom and wife I've become today.

This one is unscripted, unfiltered, and honestly hilarious. We're telling the stories I have never told. Sneaking to Missouri in the middle of the night and telling our parents we were at Cedar Point. Getting caught by a cop with an expired license at a party and somehow walking away free. The high school sorority that absolutely should not have existed. The things we were numbing and why. The moment Alexa looked at me across a table and thought, "she's not the same girl anymore".

And the most important part. The conversation at the end where she tells me what she is most proud of me for. I could not make it through that without crying.

If you have a childhood best friend who has seen the full version of you (the one you don't post on social media) this episode is going to hit home.

Tag them below. 💜

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0:00 Cold open — "I should have ended up dead or pregnant"

1:03 Welcome — meet Alexa Rex, Brandi's childhood best friend

2:50 What it means to have a friend who has seen every season of your life

3:58 First question: what was I actually like?

4:47 How they met — competitive dance team in fifth grade

6:04 Dance was their home away from home — chaotic backgrounds

7:16 How they became close — Katelyn, parties, and dating brothers

8:23 Alexa's honest take — "you were a brat, disrespectful to everyone"

9:49 Christians who have done dark things — faith without a perfect past

12:21 The Missouri road trip — lying to their parents about Cedar Point

16:33 Getting caught — parents compare stories, the lie unravels

18:38 High school parties, bonding over chaotic home lives

20:06 The high school sorority that absolutely should not have existed

21:40 "I should have ended up dead or pregnant" — the party bus years

22:59 Being taken advantage of at a freshman year party

24:04 Numbing everything — what we were really running from

25:18 Close calls — guns, cops, expired licenses, and walking away

27:56 After high school — Brandi moves to Disney, the friendship ebbs

29:19 What Brandi was struggling with that she didn't even realize

30:28 Dark times Alexa witnessed — the real picture from the outside

32:08 The proud moment — Brandi leaves Michigan for Florida

32:59 When Alexa knew — meeting Casey changed everything

34:44 Numbing vs. healing — then and now

58:01 You don't have to be embarrassed — let go of the guilt and shame

59:53 Change is possible — even when people don't believe you yet

1:00:12 Last question — what are you most proud of me for?

1:00:41 "The mom that you are" — both of them cry

1:02:46 Friendships that point you to Jesus — the ones that matter

1:04:32 Dark humor, fond memories, and closing laughs

1:05:11 Closing — "go hug your childhood bestie"

childhood best friend podcast | growing up wild and surviving | women friendship podcast | personal growth story | faith and friendship | Brandi Raines podcast | Taking Life by the Raines | Christian women podcast | millennial mom friendship | real talk women

#takinglifebytheraines #brandiraines #bestfriendpodcast #childhoodfriendship #womenempowerment #christianwomen #millennialmom #realtalk #faithjourney #personalgrowth

Here is something I don't think people expect me to say. It took me 14 years to actually feel confident. Like genuinely, deeply, not-faking-it confident.

The girl you see on social media selling makeup, running a beauty empire, coaching thousands of women? She spent most of her life deeply insecure about her looks, her capability, and her money. She faked confidence so hard that it came across as obnoxious. And she spent years comparing herself to everyone around her while quietly falling apart inside.

In Episode 4 I am getting into all of it. How comparison steals your confidence before you even realize it is happening. How growing up Filipino in a predominantly white small town in Michigan left me feeling like the sore thumb in every room I walked into. How a comment about my love handles in middle school sent me to get lipo as an adult. How I spent the early years of motherhood sobbing over my baby's milestones because I was too busy comparing myself to every other mom around me.

And the three seasons of my life where I finally proved to myself that I was capable of more than where I came from.

Confidence is not something you are born with. It is not linked to money or status or a perfect body. It is something you build. And I am going to show you how.

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About me + my links: msha.ke/brandirainesbeauty_

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🎧 Listen on Spotify and Apple Podcasts: takinglifebytheraines.com

0:00 Welcome — diving into confidence after 14 years of building it

0:27 What confidence actually is — not what social media says it is

1:36 Why she's sharing her insecurities — so you can see yourself

2:42 The one thing that stops women from finding success

3:46 Her biggest insecurity growing up — her looks

4:23 Growing up Filipino in Michigan — looking different from everyone

5:56 Third grade gym class — the "Chinese eyes" moment that stuck

7:28 The weight insecurity — Hollister jeans, love handles, and competitive dance

9:15 How a childhood insecurity led to lipo as an adult

10:31 Insecurity 2 — capability: believing where I came from was the ceiling

12:00 Insecurity 3 — finances and hiding past-due bills as a kid

14:31 What fake confidence looks like from the outside

16:20 Comparison — the thief of joy and creator of false reality

16:49 Her love-hate relationship with social media

18:08 Comparing herself to other moms — the beach condo story

19:30 Hudson's milestones vs. her niece — sobbing over a baby who couldn't sit up

23:23 Goals set from comparison not calling — retiring Casey before he wanted it

27:08 Confidence does not come from other people's perception of you

28:25 Motivation vs. discipline — what actually builds confidence over time

30:27 Fixate on what God has for you — stop the hamster wheel of comparison

31:31 Three seasons that proved she was capable — turning points

32:30 Season 1 — moving to Florida in 2011 with $2,000 and a prayer

35:02 Season 2 — meeting Casey and breaking the generational mold

37:00 Season 3 — 2020, the pandemic, and her business going 10x

40:07 U-Haul to Georgia — laying on a mattress and feeling proud

41:31 When her confidence finally stopped being a performance

43:37 Teaching her kids — don't ask if they like you, ask how you feel

44:35 Confidence is not born, it is built — and it comes in seasons

45:31 Confidence grows with faith — actionable steps to get there

46:54 Closing — it is never too late to blossom into what God is calling you

how to build confidence | comparison and insecurity | confidence for women | self esteem podcast | personal growth women | stop comparing yourself | women empowerment podcast | Christian women podcast | millennial mom podcast | social media and confidence

#takinglifebytheraines #brandiraines #confidence #selfesteem #stopcomparing #womenempowerment #christianwomen #millennialmom #personalgrowth #faithjourney

Here's the truth. Nobody tells you that healing gets worse before it gets better. Like actually worse. You start digging, you start going to therapy, you start facing the things you've tucked away for years and for a minute it feels like everything is falling apart. That's not you doing it wrong. That is literally just how it works.

In Episode 3 I'm getting into the stuff the self-help books skip over. The real, messy, uncomfortable truth about what healing actually looks like. I'm talking about learning to lower your expectations for people who have proven they're not capable of meeting them. I'm talking about staying put during hard conversations when every part of you wants to run. About outgrowing friendships you never thought you'd lose. About forgiving people who never said sorry. And about why your triggers in your marriage today are almost always rooted in something that happened when you were a kid.

I share the moment in couples therapy that broke my heart and then put it back together. The story of my dad running after our car at McDonald's when I was four years old. What my therapist showed me about my body language and why it was making my husband feel like he didn't matter to me. And how I had to stop praying for healing and start actually participating in it.

This episode is for anyone in the middle of it. The hard, unglamorous middle of doing the work. I promise you it's worth it.

The healed version of you is going to look back at the younger version of you and say, we did it. 💜

New episodes every week. Subscribe so you never miss one.

📲 Follow Taking Life by the Raines:

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📲 Follow Brandi:

Instagram: instagram.com/brandirainesbeauty/

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Facebook: facebook.com/followbrandiraines/

About me + my links: msha.ke/brandirainesbeauty_

Shop my Komigo storefront: komigo.me/brandi

🎧 Listen on Spotify and Apple Podcasts: www.takinglifebytheraines.com

0:00 Welcome back — Episode 3 intro

0:26 The truth about healing nobody talks about

1:47 It gets worse before it gets better — and that's okay

3:13 Healing is like peeling an onion — layer by layer

4:42 The first step she took — reading her Bible and starting therapy

5:12 The wrong therapist — and why you need to vet yours

6:21 Starting couples therapy with Casey

7:06 The therapist said: you each need to heal separately first

7:36 The biggest lesson from therapy — expectations

9:27 Lowering your expectations for broken people

11:02 Find a spicy marriage counselor who tells you the truth

11:43 If your marriage isn't hard, you're not going deep enough

14:26 The therapy session that broke her heart — the trash story

19:48 Body language as a trauma response

22:16 Learning to stay put when you want to run

23:11 The McDonald's memory — age 4, her parents divorced

25:40 What healing actually looks like step by step

28:04 Stop praying for healing and start participating in it

29:16 Friendships have expiration dates

30:37 Trauma bonding friendships and what happens when you heal

32:07 Daddy issues — forgiving what you never had

36:32 Therapy gives you the tools — real life is where you use them

37:31 Grieving friendships that no longer serve you

38:07 Forgiveness is a part of every layer of healing

40:10 Forgiving without an apology — how to actually do it

42:05 How to have hard conversations and keep the friendship

44:22 What healthy boundaries actually look like in real life

45:46 You teach people how to treat you

47:21 If your friends talk badly about their spouse, that is the enemy

49:11 The healed version of you is going to look back and say well done

50:07 Where to start if you don't know how to begin healing

53:42 Healing your trauma is the best weapon against the enemy

54:40 Thank you and closing

healing gets worse before it gets better | childhood trauma therapy | toxic friendships | marriage counseling | forgiveness healing | personal growth podcast women | Christian healing | generational trauma

#takinglifebytheraines #brandiraines #healingjourney #childhoodtrauma #marriagecounseling #toxicfriendships #christianwomen #millennialmom #personalgrowth #faithjourney

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