Hello So Deep Peeps!  
Welcome to That’s So Deep.  This is the podcast where we try to root out loneliness one conversation at a time. Today we are talking about Making Decisions: Are You A Satisficer or a Maximizer?

 Some deep things we cover:

1. What kind of decision makers are Phyllis and Julie?
2. How does people pleasing factor into decision making?
3. Decision Fatigue: This occurs when there are too many options and your brain can’t quite process it all.
4. Hard Choices vs. Big Choices: Not all big decisions are hard and not all small decisions are easy.  
5. “On Par” Decisions:  Sometimes decisions are hard to make because what you’re choosing between have equal pros and cons.  
6. When Pros and Cons Fail to Help You Make a Decision…Try Ruth Chang’s “A.U.T.H.O.R.” Hack:

A - Ascertain what matters in the choice
U - Understand the pros and cons of the alternatives 
T - Tally up the pros and cons (these 3 steps lead you to agony so now you need more steps.)
H - Home.  Settle into the fact that this is a hard choice.
O - Open yourself up to the possibility of making a commitment to this choice. 
R - Remake or Realize yourself as someone who has committed. Make yourself into someone who has the most reason to make this choice.

7. The worry of “Am I Making a Mistake?” can prevent us from making a decision: Getting in the “right” or “wrong” mindset can keep us stuck. 
8. Who Can You Commit to Being? Might be a better question when making big life choices.
9. Are You a Maximizer or a Satisficer? Do you evaluate and stress over every single detail of a decision or are you usually okay with a “good enough” decision?    

 Take-aways:

1. Roasted Brussel Sprouts or Carrot Sticks: Sometimes decisions don’t need to be that hard.  You don’t have to roast brussel sprouts when a bag of carrot sticks will suffice. If you’re a maximizer like Phyllis, practice satisficing.  Good enough is good enough!
2. A.U.T.H.O.R. - Ask yourself who you can commit to being and then be the person who has the most reason to make that decision.  Be the author of your life choices!

 We want to have a conversation with you!

There are many ways to connect with us.  Here are some of them:

1. Join our That's So Deep Community Group on Facebook.
2. LIKE and FOLLOW us on: Facebook: @sodeeppeeps OR Instagram @thatssodeeppod
3. Text us or leave us a voicemail: 805-288-0884
4. Email us: sodeeppeeps@gmail.com

 Be sure to RATE and REVIEW if you liked this podcast.  You can also FOLLOW, SUBSCRIBE or SHARE.  If you don’t want to miss an episode, click that BELL so you can be notified right away when the next episode releases.  

We love you and we can’t wait for our next deep conversation!

Yours in Becoming, 

Phyllis & Julie

Resources and articles we referenced in the episode:

1. How To Make A Hard Decision - Life Kit
2. Why Is It Difficult to Make Decisions? | Psychology Today
3. Decision-Making | Psychology Today
4. 5 Steps for Overcoming Indecision
5. Armchair Expert

Hello So Deep Peeps!  

Welcome to That’s So Deep.  This is the podcast where we try to root out loneliness one conversation at a time. Today we are talking about Vulnerability - Part 2: Why Do We Armor Up? How Can We Show Up Authentically and Find Communities Where We Belong? (based on work by Brene Brown).

 Some deep things we cover:

1. Fitting In vs. Belonging: When you fit in, you change yourself to enter the community.  When you belong, you show up as you are and are embraced by the community.
2. Vulnerability in Parenting vs. Authoritarian Parenting: Phyllis is experimenting with parenting by being a human next to her kids by being vulnerable with boundaries.
3. Phyllis wonders if the armor that she used as a child still serves her as an adult.
4. Masculine and Feminine Norms: According to Brene Brown, a shame trigger for masculine norms is weakness and for feminine norms it is imperfection.
5. How does perfection show up for Julie and Phyllis?
6. Phyllis discusses how insecurity causes her to armor up.
7. Julie discusses why she armors up when it comes to her partnership.
8. Self Talk: Do you engage in guilt talk or shame talk?  Which one is better?
9. A Mantra to Combat Imperfection: Brene Brown uses this one and Phyllis has adopted it too: “I don’t want to be right.  I wanna get it right.”
10. How do we create inclusive spaces so people can be a part of the conversation?

 Take-aways:

1. What Armor Can We Do Away With That No Longer Serves Us?  
2. Where Does Perfection Show Up in Our Lives?

 We want to have a conversation with you!  There are many ways to connect with us.  Here are some of them:

1. Join our That's So Deep Community Group on Facebook.
2. LIKE and FOLLOW us on: Facebook: @sodeeppeeps OR Instagram @thatssodeeppod
3. Text us or leave us a voicemail: 805-288-0884
4. Email us: sodeeppeeps@gmail.com

 Be sure to RATE and REVIEW if you liked this podcast.  You can also FOLLOW, SUBSCRIBE or SHARE with a friend.  If you don’t want to miss an episode, click that BELL so you can be notified right away when the next episode releases.  

We love you and we can’t wait for our next deep conversation!

Yours in Becoming, 

Phyllis & Julie

Resources and articles we referenced in the episode:

1. Vulnerable Definition & Meaning - Merriam-Webster
2. Taken for Granted: Brené Brown on What Vulnerability Isn't (transcript) | TED
3. Brené Brown on What Vulnerability Isn't - Taken for Granted | Podcast on Spotify

Hello So Deep Peeps!  

Welcome to That’s So Deep.  This is the podcast where we try to root out loneliness one conversation at a time. Today we are talking about Vulnerability - Part 1: What it is and What it isn’t (based on work by Brene Brown)

 Some deep things we cover:

1. TW: Phyllis and Julie share some raw thoughts and feelings after the school shooting in Uvalde.  Please take care of yourselves and skip the first 8 minutes of the podcast if you need some space to process. 
2. There is No Courage Without Vulnerability: Brene Brown defines “vulnerability” as uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure.
3. Vulnerability in the Workplace: Being invulnerable at work can hamper connection with coworkers and yet being overly vulnerable can hijack productivity.  Vulnerability can be appropriate in a work setting with the right boundaries.  
4. Vulnerability Without Boundaries is Not Vulnerability.
5. The Messy House: Sometimes when we are overwhelmed we are a bit like a messy house.  We overshare because we don’t have a good grasp on our “stuff” so it can spill out onto people. 
6. The Mask: What is the mask we put on to protect ourselves instead of showing up as our authentic selves? 
7. You Don’t Need to Cry to be Vulnerable
8. The Color Spectrum of Authenticity: If we imagine ourselves as a color, showing up as our authentic selves can mean showing up in a different shade depending on the relationship and the moment.  

 Take-aways:

Vulnerability = Sharing with Boundaries + Intention of Connection
Remember that vulnerability is not emotional dumping or oversharing.  Before you share something personal figure out your intention.  Is what you’re about to share something that will help build a stronger connection with your friend?  And is this relationship an appropriate one to share at this level of depth?  

 Connect with us!

1. Join our That's So Deep Community Group on Facebook.
2. LIKE and FOLLOW us on: Facebook: @sodeeppeeps OR Instagram @thatssodeeppod
3. Text us or leave us a voicemail: 805-288-0884
4. Email us: sodeeppeeps@gmail.com

Be sure to RATE and REVIEW if you liked this podcast.  You can also FOLLOW, SUBSCRIBE or SHARE with a friend.  If you don’t want to miss an episode, click that BELL so you can be notified right away when the next episode releases.  

We love you and we can’t wait for our next deep conversation!

Yours in Becoming, 

Phyllis & Julie

Resources and articles we referenced in the episode:

1. "Vulnerable"  - Merriam-Webster
2. Taken for Granted: Brené Brown on What Vulnerability Isn't (transcript) | TED
3. Brené Brown on What Vulnerability Isn't - Taken for Granted

Ways to advance solutions to end gun violence: 

1. Urge your senators to pass gun safety legislation now. Moms Demand Action has a form you can fill out and the message will go directly to a senator in your state.

2. Donate to any of the following organizations: 

• Moms Demand Action
• Everytown for Gun Safety 
• Brady Campaign