Who's Really Going on That Date? (Hint: It's Not Just You)

In this episode of The Conscious Matchmaker, Sophy Singer and Justin Wilford unpack what happens when all your INNER PARTS show up on a date—whether you invite them or not. Using the Internal Family Systems (IFS) framework, your hosts reveal what’s really going on when you're swiping, flirting, chatting and ghosting. Ever feel like part of you wants to be super into someone… but they say one thing and another part wants to run for the hills? Learn how to spot the protective parts that might be hijacking your dating life, and how quick self-checks—before, during, and after a date—can bring more compassion (and a lot less chaos) into your dating experience. If you’ve ever asked, “Why do I keep picking the same people?” — this episode might just be your new favorite wingman.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Conscious Dating

01:55Understanding Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Parts

09:50 The Impact of Protective Parts in Dating

13:39 Self-Checks Before, During, and After Dates

23:57 Navigating Curiosity and Connection on Dates

30:36Post-Date Analysis and Understanding Parts

38:49 The Role of Self-Compassion in Relationships

Links

The Emotion Identification Wheel

The 3 N's Meditation with Justin Wilford

Conscious Call-Ins | Your Dating Hotline

‘The Materialist’ serves up drama, glamour, and a Hollywood take on the matchmaking world— but real-life love stories are a little less scripted. Your hosts and Pro Matchmakers Sophy Singer and Elizabeth Foster pull back the curtain on the film’s glossy version of their profession, exploring what it gets right, what it misses, and why it matters. From letting go of “perfect partner” checklists to embracing an authentic, unpredictable connection, they reveal how dating can shift from a numbers game into a transformational journey toward true and fulfilling love.

*SPOILER ALERT * SPOILER ALERT * SPOILER ALERT *

Takeaways

* Conscious dating extends beyond romantic relationships.

* The movie 'The Materialist' has sparked discussions about matchmaking.

* Matchmaking is becoming more normalized in society.

* Media portrayals can misrepresent the matchmaking process.

* Transactional dating is prevalent due to dating apps.

* Client expectations often include unrealistic checklists.

* Internal worthiness is crucial for finding love.

* Authenticity and vulnerability are key to real connections.

* Self-discovery is an important part of the dating journey.

* True love comes from personal growth and self-acceptance.

Titles

* Exploring Conscious Matchmaking

* The Influence of 'The Materialist' on Dating

Sound Bites

* "I never thought I'd get to this."

* "This can be like a real option."

* "It's not build a bear exactly."

Chapters

00:00Introduction to Conscious Matchmaking

00:56The Impact of 'The Materialist' Movie

03:40Portrayal of Matchmaking in Media

07:39Transactional Nature of Modern Dating

11:32Client Expectations and Checklists

15:27Internal vs. External Worthiness

19:54The Journey of Self-Discovery in Dating

23:40Real Love vs. Market Value

27:51The Importance of Authentic Connections

31:51Final Thoughts on Personal Growth and Relationships

Sophy and Elizabeth are back in this raw and resonant episode, pulling back the curtain on what true success in dating and in love really looks like.

Unpacking what separates their most successful matchmaking clients from the rest, they share powerful stories— including one-and-done love stories, red-flag reversals, and power-couple fantasies gone sideways. Tune in to see how the real magic happens when clients shift from finding the one to becoming the one.

And Sophy opens up for the first time on the podcast about her recent breast cancer diagnosis and what it taught her about love, partnership, and showing up through life’s hardest seasons. From the grueling realities of chemo to the emotional weight of parenting, business, and marriage during a health crisis—this is a story of resilience, self-leadership, and what it really means to have a conscious relationship when life stops being easy.

If you've ever wondered why your dating life feels stuck—or how to build a love that can withstand real life—this one’s for you.

Call-in with your dating queries and woes

Dating Hotline