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The Duck Rants

The Duck Rants

Written by: The Drunken Duck Cantina
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About this listen

 Raw. Rude. Real as hell. Welcome to The Duck Rants—where your favorite foul-mouthed duck dishes out hot takes from the barstool at The Drunken Duck Cantina in Nuevo Vallarta, Mexico. From sweaty gringos complaining about the AC to expat drama, tequila logic, bar fights, and bad karaoke, nothing is off limits. Profanity guaranteed. Laughs required. It’s therapy… but with cold beer and fewer pants. 🎧 New rants weekly. Follow the duck or quack the fuck out.The Drunken Duck Cantina
Episodes
  • You Had ONE Job – The Lost Luggage Rant

    You Had ONE Job – The Lost Luggage Rant
    Sep 14 2025

    Ever lost your luggage on a flight? Yeah… us too. In this episode, the Duck goes off on the absolute circus that is airline baggage handling. From your bag taking a surprise vacation to Detroit, to the smug “we found it!” call three days into your trip, this rant pulls no punches. Airlines, you charge us to check the bag — maybe try not losing it? Strap in for two minutes of pure, profanity-laced fury served with a side of sarcasm and a splash of tequila. Quack the fuck out.
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    1 min
  • DO YOU SPEAK ENTITLEMENT?

    DO YOU SPEAK ENTITLEMENT?
    Sep 7 2025

    Entitled tourists yelling "Do you speak English?" like they’re at a drive-thru — sit down. In this episode of Duck Rants, we torch the clueless gringos who forget they’re guests in Mexico. If you can order 12 cervezas, you can learn to say gracias. Buckle up, buttercup. It’s spicy.
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    1 min
  • The I-Can’t-Be-Passed People

    The I-Can’t-Be-Passed People
    Aug 31 2025

    Today’s Duck Rant takes aim at the “I-Can’t-Be-Passed” crowd — those slow, phone-zombie drivers who suddenly turn into NASCAR champions the second you try to pass them. We break down the ego, the drama, and the pure stupidity of this weird road rage reflex.
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    2 mins
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