At 18, Karen McNenny wrote in a pageant essay that her greatest ambition was to write a bestselling book. She had no idea what it would be about. She certainly never guessed divorce.

In this first of three special episodes, Karen tells the origin story of The Good Divorce — from that Miss Montana essay to a publishing offer from Wiley/Jossey-Bass that arrived faster than anyone in the industry said it should. Along the way: a pandemic pivot, a stranger's persistent emails she almost ignored, two ghostwriters who flew to Missoula to squeeze her brain for two days, and a New York Times bestselling author who finally talked her off the ledge when the contract arrived and the reality of what she'd set in motion hit hard.

She also reads from Chapter Four, “The Kids,” on preparing to deliver the hardest lines of her life to an audience of two.

What happens when parents wait until the kids are grown to divorce — and then discover their adult children are not fine with it? In this rich and eye-opening conversation, Karen sits down with Dr. Carol Hughes, clinical psychologist, two-time Fulbright Scholar, and one of the true pioneers of the collaborative divorce movement, to challenge one of the most pervasive myths in divorce: that adult children don't need the same care and intentionality that minor children do.

Dr. Hughes shares the origin story of collaborative divorce — rooted in a single letter written on January 1, 1990 by Minnesota attorney Stu Webb, who declared he was "done going to court and destroying families" — and how that moment sparked a movement that has since trained over 25,000 collaborative professionals worldwide.

Together, Karen and Dr. Hughes explore:

• Loyalty binds — what they are, how they form, and why they damage children of all ages
• The five F's — fight, flight, freeze, fawn, and feign — and how our neurological wiring pulls us toward conflict when we feel unsafe
• Gray divorce — why divorce among adults 50 and older doubled between 1990 and 2012, and what research from Bowling Green State University predicts by 2030
• The biggest myth about adult children — why "they're adults, they can handle it" is not only wrong, but harmful
• Family before finances — why starting with the children, not the money, leads to better outcomes for everyone
• The "six-year-old within" — how adult children still carry the emotional vulnerability of their younger selves, even when they appear to be coping
• Creating a divorce story — how parents can paint a picture of the future that reduces fear and uncertainty for their children
• The statement of highest intentions — a collaborative divorce tool for helping couples get clear on what they actually want the process to look like
• Practical guidance for gray divorcing parents: how to involve adult children collaboratively in planning holidays, family gatherings, and transitions — without burdening them or writing them out of the story

Dr. Hughes also opens up about her own childhood experience of her parents' divorce — including a detail that will shock modern listeners — and how an unexpected phone call from a minor's counsel changed the entire direction of her career.

Resources & Links Mentioned:

• 📖 Dr. Carol Hughes' book: Home Will Never Be the Same Again: A Guide for Adult Children of Gray Divorce— available at Barnes & Noble and all major booksellers
• 🌐 Dr. Hughes' divorce website: divorcepeacemaking.com
• ✍️ Dr. Hughes and Psychology Today: Visit Psychology Today's guest blog
• 📖 Karen's book: The Good Divorce: How to End Your Marriage Without Ending Your Family
• 🎓 The Good Divorce Academy: Karen's online community and classroom for ongoing support and education
• 🌐 Work with Karen directly: thegooddivorcecoach.com
• 🤝 Collaborative Divorce Solutions of Orange County
• 🌍 International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP) — trains collaborative divorce professionals worldwide
• 📖 Workbooks referenced: Our Family in Two Homes and A Family in a Few Homes — created by a Canadian collaborative divorce attorney for use with minor and adult children respectively

"Divorce is not a weapon — it's a tool. And when used well, it can be a tool for transformation." — Karen McNaney

What does it look like when a divorce attorney goes through his own divorce — and comes out the other side with a blended family, a co-parenting partnership, and a whole new perspective on his practice? That's exactly what Karen McNenny explores in this conversation with Raiford Dalton Palmer, Illinois divorce attorney, bestselling author, and CEO of STG Divorce Law.

Raiford's own 2015 divorce after a 24-year marriage shaped not just how he lives — but how he leads his firm and serves his clients. In this episode, he pulls back the curtain on what divorce law gets wrong, what families can do differently, and why his commercial litigation background may be the secret weapon more divorcing couples need.

In this episode, you'll hear:

• Raiford's personal divorce story — what went right, what was hard, and how his blended family became a model of abundance over scarcity
• Why "simple" and "easy" are not the same thing when it comes to divorce
• How the adversarial, win/lose court system fails families — and the alternatives that are quietly changing the landscape (mediation, collaboration, arbitration, and the "1.5 attorney divorce")
• The 90/10 Rule: what attorneys can actually help you with — and what belongs with a therapist or divorce coach
• Cost-benefit analysis applied to divorce — why staying in a high-conflict process can cost you far more than the dollars you're fighting over
• Why social media silence is one of the smartest moves you can make during a divorce
• A preview of Raiford's upcoming book, I Just Want to Know How — the guide he wishes he'd had when struggling with his own marriage, and the book he believes couples should read before they ever say the D word
• Why going to marriage counseling early is not a sign you want a divorce — and why waiting too long is like treating stage 4 cancer

Resources mentioned:

• 📘 I Just Want to Know How — Raiford's upcoming book, expected Fall 2026
• 🎙️ I Just Want This Done Divorce Podcast — live Thursdays, drops every Friday on all major platforms and YouTube
• 💬 Illinois Divorce Support — free, anonymous private Facebook group (open to all, not just Illinois residents)
• 📲 Follow Raiford: @RaifordPalmer on TikTok, Instagram, and X
• ⚖️ STG Divorce Law, P.C. — https://www.stglawfirm.com/attorneys/raiford-d-palmer/ | Serving the greater Chicagoland area

Karen McNenny is the author of The Good Divorce: How to End Your Marriage Without Ending Your Family. To work with Kathleen directly or join her online community, visit TheGoodDivorceCoach.com and the Good Divorce Academy.

And remember: "Everything will be okay in the end — and if it's not okay, it's not the end."