There are seasons when life isn’t falling apart — but it isn’t light either.

In this episode, we talk about the quiet weight of being the steady one, holding stories you can’t fix, and carrying responsibility without bitterness or urgency. This is a conversation about capacity, trust, and learning how to loosen your grip without disengaging from the life you’ve been given.

We explore what it looks like to let God hold what you were never meant to carry alone — not by stepping away, but by staying present with open hands. This episode also gently names the tension between gratitude and responsibility, divine timing and stewardship, and leaning in when you’re called without gripping outcomes that aren’t yours.

If you’ve been faithful, capable, and quietly full — this space is for you.

If you’d like to process this conversation more slowly, there is an optional Companion Guide available for Episode 12. It’s designed as a gentle reflection space to help you notice what you’re carrying and consider what might not belong in your hands alone. You can find it here:
👉 https://kbhawkins.gumroad.com/l/rawam

Expanded Show Notes

This long-form episode sits in the heart of ARC 2: Healing While Life Keeps Moving.

Here, we explore the lived experience of:
• being the steady one others rely on
• holding unresolved outcomes for people you love
• managing responsibility without collapsing under it
• recognizing divine timing without trying to control it
• leaning in when you’re called without striving

Rather than offering solutions or instruction, this episode stays with the tension — naming the quiet holiness of attentiveness, stewardship without pressure, and faith practiced in real time.

This is not a conversation about doing more.
It’s an invitation to carry less — without disengaging from what matters.

If you’d like guided reflection questions to sit with after listening, the Episode 12 Companion Guide offers a structured space for journaling and prayerful awareness. It is completely optional and designed to support — not extend — the conversation.

Listeners who resonate with this episode may find themselves:
• functioning well, but feeling full
• grateful, yet aware of responsibility
• faithful, yet learning how to loosen their grip
• sensing invitation without certainty

This episode is meant to steady you — not rush you — and remind you that you were never meant to be the sole container for everything you love.

Send a text

Support the show

Want to stay connected throughout the week?
Come hang out with me on social media for daily encouragement, real-life stories, and the behind-the-scenes pieces of this healing journey.

If you feel led to support the show, you can do so through the link in the show notes — and please know, your generosity means the world. You’re a gift.

Grief doesn’t always arrive when loss first happens.

Sometimes it waits — until life feels steadier, until survival mode eases, until there is finally space to feel what couldn’t be felt before. And when grief surfaces later, it can feel confusing, disorienting, or even discouraging.

In this Scripture-anchored devotional, we explore the gentleness of a God who does not rush grief or measure it by timing. Drawing from Psalm 34, Psalm 56, and Lamentations 3, this episode offers a quiet place to land for anyone who feels sorrow lingering, resurfacing, or showing up later than expected.

This devotional is not about fixing grief or explaining its timeline. It’s about learning to stay — trusting that God’s nearness is steady, His compassion is abundant, and His presence does not thin with time.

If grief feels close right now — loudly or quietly — you are not behind. You are not failing. And you are not alone.

🎧 Long-form Mondays | Scripture-anchored devotionals on Thursdays

Send a text

Support the show

Want to stay connected throughout the week?
Come hang out with me on social media for daily encouragement, real-life stories, and the behind-the-scenes pieces of this healing journey.

If you feel led to support the show, you can do so through the link in the show notes — and please know, your generosity means the world. You’re a gift.

Grief doesn’t always show up the way we expect it to.

Sometimes it arrives slowly, through a series of small goodbyes we don’t realize we’re making at the time. Other times it comes suddenly, without warning, leaving us breathless and disoriented. And often, it resurfaces later — in ordinary moments — long after life has moved forward.

In this episode, I talk honestly about the layered nature of grief: grieving my dad in phases as his world slowly grew smaller, and grieving my father-in-law, Jimmy, suddenly during the height of COVID. I also reflect on how grief accumulates over a lifetime — through infertility, loss, relational pain, and early experiences that shaped how we learned to carry things quietly.

This conversation isn’t about fixing grief or explaining it away. It’s about recognizing it, staying present with it, and allowing it to settle without judgment while life keeps moving.

If you’ve ever wondered why grief still shows up — even when you thought you were past it — this episode is a gentle place to land.

🔹 EXTENDED SHOW NOTES

In Episode 11, Grief Shows Up in the Weirdest Ways, we explore the truth that grief doesn’t follow rules, timelines, or neat categories.

I share about:

• Grieving my dad slowly, in phases, before and after his passing
• Grieving my father-in-law, Jimmy, suddenly during COVID
• How different kinds of loss live differently in the body
• Why grief often resurfaces later — when life finally feels stable
• The difference between healing and “being done”
• Learning to stay present with tenderness without trying to fix it

This episode is especially for those who:

• feel grief surface unexpectedly
• question why something still hurts
• carry quiet or unnamed losses
• are learning how to live fully while holding what mattered

There’s no call to action here. No next step to complete. Just space to breathe, reflect, and remember that you’re not alone in the middle of it.

🎧 New long-form episodes release Mondays.
🎧 Short devotionals release Thursdays.

Send a text

Support the show

Want to stay connected throughout the week?
Come hang out with me on social media for daily encouragement, real-life stories, and the behind-the-scenes pieces of this healing journey.

If you feel led to support the show, you can do so through the link in the show notes — and please know, your generosity means the world. You’re a gift.