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The Integrated Fathers Podcast

The Integrated Fathers Podcast

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Our ancestors knew how to initiate men. But we forgot. This is for husbands and fathers looking to lead their families, hold their marriages and build something that outlives them. My name is Thomas Eberts, and this is the Integrated Fathers Podcast.

integratedfathers.substack.comThomas Eberts Relationships Self-Help Social Sciences Success
Episodes
  • 003 - What It Means to Be a Present Father w/ Jon Hord

    003 - What It Means to Be a Present Father w/ Jon Hord
    Apr 30 2026
    This podcast is listener-supported. To receive new podcasts like this and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.Jon Hord had the career. VP title. Senior leadership team. Private trips with the owner. Six-figure salary. Everything the American Dream told him to chase for two decades.And then one afternoon, his body folded under the weight of it. Panic attack. Out of nowhere.And in the wreckage of that moment, he asked himself the question that changed everything: Am I the dad I actually want to be?This conversation goes deep. Jon’s story is not about burning it all down — it’s about what becomes possible when you finally stop outsourcing your worth as a father to your job title.ABOUT JON HORDJon Hord spent 18 years climbing the corporate ladder — from part-time graphic designer to VP of IT at a 600-person company — before a panic attack forced him to ask whether the life he was building was actually the one he wanted to live. Today he is the founder of The Engaged Father Project, where he coaches high-achieving dads to get crystal clear on the kind of father they want to be and close the gap between who they are now and who their kids actually need. You can find him at The Engaged Father Project community on Skool.WHAT WE COVER00:00 — Intro: why the value we bring to the world comes from the story we have lived01:00 — Jon’s “life in a box”: art school, graphic design, and the slow drift toward a career that looked great from the outside03:27 — Landing as VP of IT with no IT background and taking on the weight of critical company infrastructure04:59 — The hidden equation destroying his fatherhood: tying his worth as a dad to the size of his income05:35 — The panic attack that couldn’t be brushed off07:39 — The honest questions he had to ask: was any of this actually worth it?08:09 — What the stress looked like at home: oversized reactions to age-appropriate kid behavior12:18 — What children under 7 actually absorb from a stressed father (and why it becomes their manual)14:22 — The generational ripple: how our actions as fathers write the future of fatherhood itself16:50 — Jon’s marriage: his wife is a psychotherapist, and what that meant for navigating the breaking point18:11 — Walking away from the salary, and the one thing his wife never questioned21:27 — The deathbed decision: sitting on his back deck, two paths, and the version of himself at the end of his life22:59 — Finding David Ellzey and the Sedona Method on YouTube by accident26:00 — Getting certified as a coach and realizing he didn’t know who to coach yet27:10 — The email from Jenny that became the origin of The Engaged Father Project31:16 — Pillar 1: Getting clarity on the dad you actually want to be (and why “good” is only a 6 or 7 out of 10)35:21 — Jon’s three words for fatherhood: Safe, Seen, Supported39:31 — Pillar 2: Presence and listening — why your kids light up the moment you put the phone down and actually show up43:20 — Thomas’s story: the thirty minutes in a wooden playhouse that changed an entire day44:47 — The reflexive “no”: a 24-hour challenge for every dad listening46:37 — Pillar 3: The fatherhood backpack — sorting through what you were handed, what to keep, and what to put down52:01 — Where to find Jon and how to join the free community55:05 — Jon’s closing statement: the legacy you will leave, whether intentionally or on autopilotJON’S LINKS + RESOURCES MENTIONEDConnect with Jon:* Free Community (Skool): The Engaged Father Project — ~90 dads, weekly live calls, daily challenges* Instagram / TikTok / YouTube: @theengagedfatherproject* LinkedIn: Jon Hord* 1:1 and group coaching: available through the Skool communityResources Mentioned:* David Ellzey — transformational coach and Sedona Method instructor; the coach Jon found by accident on YouTube* The Sedona Method — a letting-go practice built on self-inquiry; focuses on releasing stress, fear, and anxiety through presence and awareness* Yes Day — available on Netflix — the film Jon references in the “reflexive no” challengeThank you!If this conversation stayed with you, the newsletter goes deeper every Monday — real frameworks, honest stories, and the kind of thinking that actually changes how you show up at home.Join the men already reading it at thomaseberts.substack.com. Get full access to Integrated Fathers at integratedfathers.substack.com/subscribe
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    59 mins
  • How to Be a Present Father Without Sacrificing Your Career

    How to Be a Present Father Without Sacrificing Your Career
    Mar 29 2026


    EPISODE DESCRIPTION

    You've been pulling in two directions your whole career. Work on one end. Family on the other. Here's why that tug of war isn't the problem — it's the compass.

    In this episode, Thomas Eberts breaks down what it actually means to be a present father — not just physically in the room, but fully leading at home.

    If you're a high-achieving man who's built success at work but feels quietly disconnected at home, this episode is for you.

    What you'll hear:

    • Why the tug of war between work and family is a gift, not a flaw
    • The one switch that changes how you lead your entire life at home
    • Four questions that build your North Star as a husband and father
    • Why provision without presence is not fatherhood — it's just employment
    • What it looks like to put family first without abandoning your ambition

    This isn't generic dad advice. It's real talk for fathers who are serious about leading their family the same way they lead in business.

    The Integrated Father Newsletter — subscribe free: https://the-integrated-father.beehiiv.com/


    SHOW NOTES


    About This Episode

    Most men think the tension between work and family is a problem to solve.

    It's not.

    In this episode of The Integrated Father Podcast, Thomas breaks down why that tug of war is actually your compass — and what one shift changes everything about how you show up at home.

    This is father advice built for high-achieving men. Not mindfulness tips. Not productivity hacks. A genuine reframe of what it means to be a present father in today's world.


    The Four Questions (Do This After You Listen)

    Grab a piece of paper and answer all four. Write them down — don't just think through them.

    1. What does my wife need to thrive — as a mother and as a woman?

    2. What do my children need to thrive?

    3. What do I need to show up with a consistently full cup?

    4. What would my perfect day as a husband and father actually look like, from morning to night?

    The first three build the foundation. The fourth is your North Star.


    Resources Mentioned

    The Integrated Father — Weekly Newsletter Real talk for husbands and fathers who are serious about leading at home. Subscribe free: https://the-integrated-father.beehiiv.com/


    About The Integrated Father Podcast

    The Integrated Father Podcast is for high-achieving men who have mastered the outer world — business, wealth, achievement — and are now ready to go deeper at home.

    Each episode covers what it actually means to be a present father and a present husband. Marriage leadership. Family presence. Masculine initiation. God-centered purpose.

    Hosted by Thomas Eberts. New episodes weekly.

    Enter the forge. Emerge transformed.



    Get full access to Integrated Fathers at integratedfathers.substack.com/subscribe
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    13 mins
  • #001 - What Makes a Good Father - Presence vs. Performance

    #001 - What Makes a Good Father - Presence vs. Performance
    Mar 20 2026

    Most men think they're showing up for their families.

    But there's a difference between showing up.. and performing.

    And your wife and your kids feel which one you're doing. Every single day. Even if nobody ever says a word about it.

    In this episode I break down one of the most important distinctions I've ever had to learn as a husband and a father: the gap between genuine presence and unconscious performance.

    This surfaced for me during a ceremony I sat in last month. During the integration period that followed, something I hadn't fully seen before came to the surface.. a pattern that had been running quietly in the background of my life for a long time. And when I finally saw it, I couldn't unsee it.

    Here's what we get into:

    • The difference between acting from your heart and acting from your head
    • Why every performance at home comes with a hidden need for validation
    • The three honest questions that reveal whether you're present or performing
    • What it actually costs you when the validation you're unconsciously seeking never comes
    • The shift that changed everything: trusting heart leadership over mental performance
    • One simple daily practice that builds genuine presence over time

    I want to be clear about something. This isn't about being a bad husband or a bad father. If you're listening to this, you're already doing more than most men ever will. But there's a ceiling on what performing can give you. And the men who break through it.. the ones whose wives feel genuinely safe, whose kids run to them, whose homes feel alive.. they're not performing the role.

    They're in it.

    That's what this episode is about.

    What makes a good father isn't the checklist. It's the presence behind it.


    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


    🔥 FOLLOW THE INTEGRATED FATHER

    📩 Newsletter — Every Monday. Free. This is where the deep work lives. Subscribe: https://the-integrated-father.beehiiv.com/subscribe

    📱 Instagram: instagram.com/thomaseberts

    💼 LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/thomaseberts


    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


    💍 READY TO GO DEEPER?

    If your marriage is struggling and you're done waiting for things to get better on their own..

    The Fix Your Marriage course was built for exactly where you are right now.

    Get access here: https://the-integrated-father.beehiiv.com/how-to-fix-your-marriage-in-7-days

    The Integrated Father is a modern mystery school for high-achieving men who've mastered business but are failing at home. We don't fix men. We forge them.

    The fire is waiting. Enter the forge. Emerge transformed.



    Get full access to Integrated Fathers at integratedfathers.substack.com/subscribe
    Show More Show Less
    11 mins
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