One MRI, one cancer diagnosis, four surgeries, and a host of side effects upended the life I thought I knew. In this episode I share how suffering exposed the limits of my theology, revealed hidden dependence on control, and drove me into a deeper understanding that faith is not a formula for outcomes.

Using personal story and Scripture—especially John 6—I talk about the difference between trusting God for results and trusting God for who He is, how grief and depression have affected me, and how God’s character and mercy remain steady when everything else feels unstable.

Before the suffering… I thought I understood faith.

I thought trusting God meant stability, clarity, and strength.

But when everything in my life began to collapse — my wife’s diagnosis, fear, exhaustion, uncertainty, and the loss of control — I came face to face with a version of faith I had never known before.

In Episode 1 of this series, I share the man I was before the fire.

The expectations I had about life, ministry, leadership, and what I believed it meant to follow Christ.

This is not just a story about suffering. It’s about transformation.

About what God exposes when the fire touches every area of your life. If you are walking through pain, confusion, burnout, fear, or spiritual exhaustion, I pray this episode reminds you that God is still present — even when everything feels unstable.

“Live as Citizens of Heaven.”

Subscribe for more conversations on: • Faith in suffering • The cost of obedience • Biblical truth • Spiritual formation • The Kingdom of God • Following Christ in hardship

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In this episode the host shares a personal caregiving and cancer journey to explain three steps for drawing closer to Jesus in seasons of trial: breaking self-reliance, understanding the purpose of the fire as pruning, and accepting the invitation to dependence on Christ.

Using Scripture (John 15:5, 2 Corinthians 12:9, Hebrews 12:11) the episode encourages listeners to focus on abiding in Christ during hardship so that faith and spiritual fruit can grow.