The Love Fern, The Lies & The Masturbation Math
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The Love Fern, The Lies & The Masturbation Math
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In this week’s chaotic-but-iconic instalment, Jasmin and Cherie bravely attempt to recap How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days — but naturally detour through Kmart fatigue, Werther’s lollies, Princess Sophia, diamond-account capitalism, and whether naming your penis a girl’s name is a tool for heterosexual continuity or just emotional damage.
They debate who the real villain of the film is (the magazine industry? Andy? Ben? The cop with the gender-bias ticket?), play an unhinged round of “Two Mooses and a Lie,” expose their celebrity encounters (yes, Charlie Sheen touched the small of someone’s back), and uncover the world’s first philosophical link between masturbation and incest. You’re welcome.
Featuring:
– Thirsty Merc backstage tea
– A near-proposal that was actually a metal song
– Deep rom-com psychology analysis
– The Love Fern’s criminal arc
– Cherie’s legal case for the clingy friend
It’s unfiltered, unhinged, unexpectedly heartfelt, and definitely not safe for work — unless your workplace is Kmart.