In this wickedly inventive episode , we dive into the surreal tale of Dr. Sylvia Samsa, the esteemed Chief of Surgery who awakens one morning to discover she's been transformed into... synthetic surgical mesh. Yes, you read that correctly.

Follow Dr. Samsa's existential crisis as she finds herself inexplicably stretched across Hesselbach's triangle during a hernia repair, unable to alert her own surgical team to her predicament. With dark humor worthy of Kafka himself, we explore her dawning horror as she realizes she's about to be permanently implanted in a patient's groin while the entire hospital searches for her missing human form.

Five years after her mysterious "disappearance," Dr. Samsa lives on only as a hospital ghost story and the inexplicable sobbing that emanates from the surgical supply cabinet. This episode brilliantly blends medical gallows humor with philosophical questions about identity and professional legacy.

Perfect listening for surgical residents on their coffee breaks... if they dare open the mesh cabinet afterward.

Written by Leo A. Gordon, MD, the American Bard of Medicine. Produced and directed by Dan Gardner, MD

Join sportscaster Chuck "The Mouth" Morrison and former orthopedic surgeon Dr. Phil McCracken as they bring you the slowest-paced action in sports entertainment! This week's episode features a pickleball showdown between aging rivals Jon and Bob ("The Still Got It Squad") versus Stu and Larry ("We Can't Remember What the Score or Who is Serving").

Witness four senior citizens with questionable eyesight, diminishing reflexes, and undiminished trash-talking abilities battle it out on the pickleball court. Marvel at their ability to forget the score every 45 seconds! Cringe at their politically incorrect jokes! Admire their tenacity in the face of impending knee replacements!

This episode contains: dubious medical advice, inappropriate Viagra references, complaints about body parts you didn't know could hurt, and enough dad jokes to make your teenagers run screaming from the room. Not recommended for listeners with taste, decorum, or respect for the elderly.

WARNING: Contains language that was considered mildly risqué in 1975 and references to anatomical procedures that will make you uncomfortable at your next doctor's appointment.

Subscribe now – before these guys forget how to play altogether!

(Produced by Dan Gardner, MD from a recorded pickleball game and assistance from Claude AI)

This humorous dissertation written and read by Leo A. Gordon, MD presents ten "laws of physics" that humorously explain the frustrations and challenges of laparoscopic surgery, attributing them to famous physicists who never actually created these principles.

1. Heisenberg's Principle of Indeterminacy: The location of the radiology technician at the time of cholangiography is indeterminate.

2. Thomson's Principle of Negatively Charged Particles: The passage of an x-ray through an empty cassette generates no data.

3. Schrodinger's Theory of Wave Mechanics: A clamped irrigation system will not allow irrigation fluid to flow.

4. Descartes's Vortex Theory: All cables and tubing become intertwined despite logical arrangement.

5. Bradley's Aberration of Light Theory: A laparoscopic light source is ineffective if not plugged in.

6. Boltzman's Theory of Entropy and Probability: The preceding case will be 20% longer than scheduled, represented by the formula C = P + (T + .2T) + L.

7. Lavoisier's Law of Gas Insufflation: The rate of insufflation is inversely proportional to the number of laparoscopic cases following in that room.

8. Bunsen's Law of Reciprocity: If you tie your assistant up on a lengthy laparoscopic case, they will do the same to you at the most inconvenient time.

9. Cavendish's Law of Condensation: Despite all preventive measures, the laparoscope lens will be obscured by condensation.

10. Einstein's Theory of Laparoscopic Relativity: Motion, space, and time cease to exist after the second hour of any laparoscopic case.

The piece is a satirical take on the everyday frustrations of laparoscopic surgery, cleverly disguised as scientific principles attributed to famous physicists.