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The Messy Middle Podcast

The Messy Middle Podcast

Written by: Erika Leon
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About this listen

The podcast for women navigating the raw, confusing, lonely aftermath of narcissistic abuse and emotional control.


I'm Erika Leon, trauma-informed Abuse Recovery coach, mom of five, and creator of the Six Keys to Unfu*kwithable.


I have walked thousands of women through the part after the leaving where the adrenaline fades, the grief hits, and the world really wants you to just move on.

If you are picking up the pieces, questioning everything, and trying to remember who the fuck you were before you were so carefully erased, you are in the right place.

© 2026 The Messy Middle Podcast
Relationships Social Sciences
Episodes
  • 13 | You Don't Have to Forgive Your Abuser to Heal
    Jan 15 2026

    In this episode, I’m responding to listener messages that came in after the Inner Child ep, including one powerful moment that stopped me in my tracks.

    A listener shared how she paused the podcast, climbed into bed with her childhood stuffed zebra, and spoke truth to the younger version of herself. What she described is exactly what real healing looks like - not performative, not perfect, but embodied, intuitive, and honest.

    From there, we move into some big, thorny questions I get asked all the time:
    Do we have to forgive our parents?
    Do we have to forgive narcissistic abusers?
    Is forgiveness actually necessary for healing, or has it been weaponized against us?

    In this episode, we talk about:

    • Why forgiveness is not a prerequisite for healing
    • How women are conditioned to use forgiveness to stay small, quiet, and palatable
    • The difference between forgiveness, freedom, integration, and indifference
    • Why rage, grief, and truth-telling are often essential parts of recovery
    • How to redefine forgiveness on your terms, or reject it altogether
    • A body-based reflection to help you feel what forgiveness actually means to you

    This is not a “just let it go” conversation. It’s a reclaim-your-power conversation.

    If you’ve ever felt pressured to forgive before you were ready, or told that healing requires you to absolve the people who harmed you - this episode is for you.

    📩 Send in YOUR questions and get them answered on the podcast!

    📢 Get a Laster Coaching call for only $150. A 45-minute session to get to know me, experience my approach, and receive a personalized plan to kickstart your healing journey. Perfect for testing the waters before diving deeper.

    🎬 Watch Unfu*kwithable Boundaries Masterclass for FREE. Learn how setting clear boundaries can change your life for good and where to start!

    📝 Get the Somatic Keys Course. Learn how to recognize your signals, regulate your responses, and reclaim your nervous system as a place of truth.

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    20 mins
  • 12 | Abuse Dynamics Education: Power and Control
    Jan 8 2026

    In this final episode of The Messy Middle Six Keys series, we’re closing with the key that changes everything: Abuse Dynamics Education.

    If you’ve ever wondered why you still doubt yourself… Why therapy, books, or “doing the work” hasn’t fully set you free… Or why a part of you still feels hooked to someone who treated you like shit…

    This episode is for you.

    We’re talking about the hidden mechanics of emotional and narcissistic abuse. Not surface-level red flags, but the real operating system behind manipulation, gaslighting, coercive control, and psychological warfare.

    You’ll learn:

    • Why abuse is not about anger or miscommunication, but power and control
    • How coercive control works so quietly you often don’t see it until years later
    • The most common abuse tactics and how they show up in real life
    • Why you didn’t see it sooner and why that does not make you weak, naïve, or stupid
    • How manipulation turns into your inner voice and how to start separating what’s yours from what was injected into you

    This episode also includes a grounding, body-based validation exercise to help you stop gaslighting yourself and reconnect with what your nervous system has always known.

    Because healing isn’t just about becoming more regulated, more forgiving, or more understanding.

    Sometimes healing is about realizing:

    This wasn’t yours to fix.
    This was done to you.
    And once you can name the game, you stop playing it.

    If you’re ready to reclaim your power, rebuild self-trust, and finally answer the question “Is this always going to happen to me?” with a solid no, this episode will land.

    Once you see it, you can’t unsee it.
    And that’s where real freedom begins.

    📩 Send in YOUR questions and get them answered on the podcast!

    📢 Get a Laster Coaching call for only $150. A 45-minute session to get to know me, experience my approach, and receive a personalized plan to kickstart your healing journey. Perfect for testing the waters before diving deeper.

    🎬 Watch Unfu*kwithable Boundaries Masterclass for FREE. Learn how setting clear boundaries can change your life for good and where to start!

    📝 Get the Somatic Keys Course. Learn how to recognize your signals, regulate your responses, and reclaim your nervous system as a place of truth.

    Show More Show Less
    28 mins
  • 11 | Somatics & Energetics: Why You Can’t Logic Your Way Out of Trauma
    Jan 1 2026

    If you’ve ever wondered why boundaries feel impossible, why you keep going back, or why your body reacts before your mind can catch up, I made this episode for you.

    If you’ve done the therapy, read the books, understand the patterns of abuse, manipulation, or people pleasing, and yet your body still freezes, fawns, shuts down, or betrays you at the exact moment you need it most, this episode is for you.

    This is a deep dive into somatics and energetics, and why trauma doesn’t live in your thoughts. It lives in your body, your breath, your nervous system, and your energetic field.

    In this episode:

    • I talk about why you can’t logic your way out of trauma, why insight alone isn’t enough, and why your body is not broken or failing you.
    • I share personal stories from my own journey, including the moments when my body knew the truth long before my mind could cope with it.
    • We explore why freeze, collapse, people pleasing, and panic are not character flaws, but intelligent survival responses, and how changing the questions you ask yourself can shift everything.

    I also guide you through gentle, practical somatic and energetic exercises you can do with me, including:

    • Taking your nervous system and energetic pulse
    • Learning to listen to sensation instead of overriding it
    • Feeling and strengthening your energetic boundaries
    • Releasing emotional and energetic residue you’ve been carrying that isn’t yours

    This is not about forcing yourself to be more confident, more assertive, or more healed. You cannot bully your nervous system into safety. Healing happens when you meet your body with curiosity, respect, and compassion.

    Your body is not the problem. It’s the portal.

    📩 Send in YOUR questions and get them answered on the podcast!

    📢 Get a Laster Coaching call for only $150. A 45-minute session to get to know me, experience my approach, and receive a personalized plan to kickstart your healing journey. Perfect for testing the waters before diving deeper.

    🎬 Watch Unfu*kwithable Boundaries Masterclass for FREE. Learn how setting clear boundaries can change your life for good and where to start!

    📝 Get the Somatic Keys Course. Learn how to recognize your signals, regulate your responses, and reclaim your nervous system as a place of truth.

    Show More Show Less
    27 mins
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