Episodes

  • Hey Girl Heyyyy!

    Hey Girl Heyyyy!
    Jun 11 2020

    You’ve reached The Mrs. Beside – a movement dedicated to the wives standing BESIDE their spouse. Your spouse may be either pursuing or elevating their dream but the reality is, that career of choice pulls them away more often than not leaving you/me/us to handle the rest. Some days are easy. Some are flat out H-A-R-D.
    Nobody in the world understands that better than I do.

    So welcome to our very own common ground. A safe space to listen and be heard. To laugh. To cry. To heal. And a soft place to land. But more importantly, to remind you just how important YOU are. To challenge you to put yourself BACK on your ‘To-Do’ list. To let you know that I see you. It’s hard work – a thankless job. But you are the glue! You keep it alllll together. What you accomplish in a day is downright amazing. You, my friend, work everyday miracles.

    From full time jobs, last minute dry cleaning, kid pick up, drop off, grocery shopping, planning, bills, budgeting, chauffeuring, cooking, exercising, eating (somewhat) right, not smoking crack, play dates and an expected chandelier swing from time to time….whew girl. I know you tied. And I am too! I S S A L O T!

    The Mrs. Beside – in title alone – isn’t to simplify or tie our identity to our marital status or to define us by what our spouses do. It’s quite the opposite. In fact, it’s to celebrate and put some RESPECT back on our names. So pick up that crown girl. Shake that dust loose and step into your rightful place.

    THIS. IS. ABOUT. AND. FOR. YOU. Finallllllllllllllllly!
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    4 mins
  • Uncover

    Uncover
    Jun 11 2020

    SHOW NOTES

    Needing to Rediscover Yourself  EP #1

    Jamia Ponder is a wife and mother of three, and she’s getting real with herself.  When Jamia was asked “who” she is and what she is most proud of without involving anyone else...she drew a blank. That’s a problem. Join Jamia on her journey as she peels back the layers to re-discover who she is without all the other roles she has.

    It’s time to find that thing that is burning inside you! 

     

    What we’re talking about

    • Who Jamia Is To Everyone Else
    • The Journey To Med School Graduation
    • A Moment Of Realization

     

    Who Jamia Is To Everyone Else

    Jamia is a wife to a recent medical school graduate. Mother to three amazing children. She is also a friend, lover, cook, chauffeur, house cleaner, laundry aficionado, and keeper of all the things when it comes to running her family’s household. Each day multiple hats are worn, with many of them happening in the very same moment. Sound familiar?

     

    The Journey To Med School Graduation

    Jamia and her husband have been together for 14 years, and married for 9. He had a longing desire to go to medical school for the first 9 years they were together. When he was finally admitted in 2016, it took flipping their life on it’s proverbial head to make it work, but they were committed to his ultimate goal of becoming a doctor. No matter the cost.

     

    A Moment Of Realization

    Jamia was asked, “who are you, and what are you most proud of that doesn’t involve anyone else?”. When she drew a blank, she knew she was in deep, really deep. It was time to claw her way out to rediscover who she is under all the hats she wears for everyone else. It was time to peel back each layer until she found her true self again. Tune in this season to find out what it was that caused Jamia to come to the realization that she was stuck and needed help.

     

    Who are you, and what are you most proud of that doesn’t involve anyone else?

     

    LINKS MENTIONED

    The Mrs. Beside Facebook Page

    The Mrs. Beside Instagram

    The Mrs. Beside Pinterest

    The Mrs. Beside YouTube Channel

     TIMESTAMPS

    • 4:42 - 5:01 (19 sec JP) But before you answer...That’s a problem.
    • 6:11 - 6:22 (11 sec JP) I wanted something for me...figuring out who am I
    • 7:05 - 7:42 (37 sec JP) All of the things we typically...I had to push past my fear.
    • 8:40 - 8:58 (18 sec JP) We’re pushing our kids...those who He calls, He qualifies.

     

    QUOTES

    1. Find that thing that is burning within you. Reignite your passion. Whatever gets you to some place of centered-ness.
    2. What are you giving back to yourself?
    3. There is something that each of us are called and created to do. There is a burning passion within each and everyone of us.
    Show More Show Less
    13 mins
  • Undo

    Undo
    Jun 11 2020

    SHOW NOTES

    #2 Rediscover and Prioritize Yourself As A Woman

    Jamia Ponder is THE Mrs. Beside and is taking us on her journey of rediscovering herself after becoming a wife and mother of 3. Today is all about honoring you...who you are without the filters, being yourself, and knowing you’re worthy. Jamia is sharing her tips on prioritizing yourself and how to discover who you are after you’ve become a wife and mother. 

     

    It’s time to think about you and finding a few things that spark joy in your life!

     

    What we’re talking about

    • Are You Filtering Who You Are?
    • Being Your Own Advocate
    • Thriving In the Face of Stress

     

    Are You Filtering Who You Are?

    Have you ever met someone in real life that you only knew online? Did they look the same as their profile picture? Or were they unrecognizable? How many filters (makeup, hair color, setting, job, children) have they put between you and them to allow you to only see what they want you to see? None of these filters is wrong, per se, but they hide who the true person is. Jamia shares how she surprised one online friend by actually matching her online photo!

    Being Your Own Advocate

    Whew, girl! This one is a tough one for a lot of women. Jamia explores what it is to be your own advocate, that it’s ok to be unavailable for others, and that you need to put the “out of office” sign up. Being your own advocate is necessary because no one will advocate for you like you will. You need that downtime for you to explore who you are, what you are made of, what your desires are, and what makes you feel fulfilled.

     

    Thriving In the Face of Stress

    By peeling back those layers and getting to know yourself, you will not only know what you need to do to set boundaries and advocate for yourself, but also put yourself in a position to thrive. We discuss how you are worthy of prioritizing yourself and allowing yourself to breathe.

     

    What boundaries can you set to allow yourself to thrive?

    LINKS MENTIONED

    The Mrs. Beside Facebook Page

    The Mrs. Beside Instagram

    The Mrs. Beside Pinterest

    The Mrs. Beside YouTube Channel



     TIMESTAMPS

    • 2:20 - 2:39 (19 sec JP) Set that out of office...nobody can stick up for you like you can.
    • 2:55 - 3:19 (24 sec JP) One of the many things I feel like...maybe we don’t know who we are.
    • 7:39 - 7:59 (20 sec JP) It’s ok to have a voice...it’s going to look different for everybody.

    QUOTES

    1. We’ll all become better people. And if we’re better people, then we can be better wives. If we’re better wives, we can be better moms. The trickling effect is endless. - JP
    2. Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken. - Oscar Wilde
    3. So, how do you be yourself, if you don’t know who yourself is? - JP
    4. Children are not a burden. They just add a layer of complexity. - JP
    Show More Show Less
    10 mins
  • Unfiltered

    Unfiltered
    Jun 26 2020
    Unfiltered with Kirsten Jordan #3 This was such a fun interview, and I can’t wait to share it with you! Kirsten Jordan joins me, and we talk about the different filters that we, as women, use in our everyday lives. Some good and some that keep us from discovering our true selves. It took some difficult trials for Kirsten to dig down to her true self, but it was after she did the hard work that her business took off. We’ll get into the types of filters we use, how filters can look both positive and negative, and how we strip them away to find our true identity.   Are you using filters in your life?   What we’re talking about   Hide and Seek - The Filters In Your Daily LifeThe Sneaky Side of Filters - Living Up To The Image Society Defines For UsFinding Your True Self & Accepting Who You Are   Hide and Seek - The Filters In Your Daily Life   Women go about their day and, most times, are in such a routine that you don’t realize how many things we use as filters each and every day. From clothes, to makeup, to accessories we wear or carry. The list goes on and on. When asked to describe or introduce yourself, many are so immune to the filters we’ve applied to ourselves that we only describe who we are to others, and what we do for a living. Is that you? Is that who you ultimately are when you strip away the layers and see your soul?   The Sneaky Side of Filters - Living Up To The Image Society Defines For Us   Filters such as joining a volunteer organization or charity might appear to be positive things on the outside, but it's important to recognize the root reason for why you’re doing it. Is it because you have a passion for helping those in that community, or is it because it makes you feel better about yourself? We are diving deeper into how we’re using these good and bad filters as a community to help keep up the image that society expects of us.   Finding Your True Self & Accepting Who You Are   Discovering your identity beyond just who you are to others, and what you do for work is a big job. It can absolutely be scary to feel like you’ve bared your soul to the world, but, first, we must be comfortable discovering our own true heart of hearts. This is when we can answer with confidence when we are asked “Tell me about yourself”. It’s ok to not fit inside someone else’s box, but we must own and accept who we are so you can live your best life.   LINKS MENTIONED Unfiltered Makeup https://www.unfilteredmebeauty.com/ Unfiltered Instagram https://www.instagram.com/_unfilteredme_/ Kirsten’s Instagram https://www.instagram.com/alexanndrajay/  TIMESTAMPS 9:48 - 10:17 (29 sec KJ) The reason we go for filters is because...is when it becomes a problem.10:43 - 11:10 (27 sec KJ) The enemy was so divisive...trying to scramble around for everything.12:36 - 13:03 (27 sec KJ) I think there’s a stigma...but what’s my fruit look like?14:19 - 14:56 (37 sec) If you’re too busy trying to keep an image...it causes you to react.23:02 - 23:33 (31 sec KJ) The Lord was like, you need to...and I picked myself up, and I said, “You’re right.” QUOTES Filters don’t always come in the appearance of something bad. Sometimes they can appear like something good. - KJThe reason we go toward filters is because unresolved trauma causes us to cling to some types of affirmation, whatever those may be. - KJEverybody wants to be accepted. We want to be loved. We want to be included. - KJI think the body of Christ and women are suffering because we’re holding on to this idea of what perfection looks like. - KJWe’re not perfect, and we’re never going to be perfect. - KJBe honest & transparent, and know that there’s triumph in transparency. - KJThis podcast was birthed out of a place of brokenness. - JPSo many times we describe ourselves, or we live behind what we do. - JPNo, sis, you! You are important! - JPHow do I communicate, or know what I need, unless I know who I am and the things that bring me joy? - JPIf you’re not connected in your marriage, it does flow into everything else that happens in your house. Right down to what you’re going to have for dinner. - JP   SOCIAL MEDIA TEXT Facebook Page  Kirsten Jordan joins me today to chat about the filters we use in our lives to help us feel more comfortable, and the way they can keep us from knowing, and accepting, our true selves on the latest episode of The Mrs. Beside podcast! Twitter Day of Kirsten Jordan joins us to share her #journey to removing the #filters of life, discovering herself, and how it led to launching her #business on EP3 of Mrs. Beside’s #Podcast.I’m talking with Kirsten Jordan, creator of her own makeup line, to discuss the #filters we use to hide our true identity, & how she launched her own #business after her #journey of discovering herself on EP3 of The Mrs. Beside’s #Podcast.   Next day reminder Kirsten Jordan lays it all on the table today! We are discussing how we use the filters of life to ...
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    40 mins
  • Unbothered

    Unbothered
    Jul 3 2020
    Unbothered with Meroë Adeeb Tchomobe #4 Society often attaches a stigma to being married to a physician. Other times, people will assume that because you’re married to a person of prominence, a doctor in this case, you’re living the high life with endless amounts of money. Today we’re talking with Meroë Adeeb Tchomobe, a classically trained soprano opera singer and spouse of a physician. If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to be married to a doctor, you’re going to get an inside look. You won’t want to miss the inside scoop!   What we’re talking about A Fairytale Love Story While Pursuing Your DreamsDual Prominent Demanding CareersAdding a Munchkin To the Mix   A Fairytale Love Story While Pursuing Your Dreams Meroë and her husband, Ghislain, met on a summer break and fell head over heels in love, but they knew they both were determined to continue with their education and following their dreams. It was then that they made the decision to have a long-distance relationship and support one another even though their dreams took them to different places. They had each worked exceptionally hard to get to where they were, and quitting wasn’t an option. Dual Prominent Demanding Careers While Meroë supported her husband in his dream of becoming a doctor, she finished her masters in classical opera training from New York. Once they had both finished their education, Ghislain agreed to sacrifice a bit, and apply to clinical rotation programs that were within driving distance of where Meroë was already living. And, to show her husband the same respect and support he showed her, Meroë has agreed to move to wherever her husband gets the best job offer, showing that you can still support one another while pursuing your prospective careers. We really dove in on the importance of having something for yourself when your spouse is submerged in working toward their dreams as well.   Adding A Munchkin To the Mix   Once they moved in together, they were pleasantly surprised to find out they were adding to their family! Dual careers or not, they were about to add more love, and a lot more logistical dynamics to the mix. And, although, we were originally focused on talking about how to follow your dreams despite a demanding career or being married, we would be remiss if we didn’t talk about these sweet, little blessings, and the complexity they bring to the equation, highlighting the fact that it’s always a balancing act.    LINKS MENTIONED Meroë Khalia Adeeb Tchomobe’s Instagram www.instagram.com/meroekhalia Meroë’s Website www.meroesings.com  TIMESTAMPS 7:09 - 8:06 (57 sec MT) We got married, and only lived together…and vice versa.8:17 - 8:47 (30 sec MT) One of the things we discussed…and we’ll figure it out.14:08 - 14:45 (37 sec) I feel like there are some stigmas…we gonna work it out.21:22 - 21:49 (27 sec) I have an amazing block of neighbors…it can be taxing. QUOTES   I’ll support you, and you support me. - MTThe truth is I bring in money, too. - MTThe more children you add to any equation, well, one plus one equals lots of Tylenol. - JP   SOCIAL MEDIA TEXT Facebook Page  You won’t want to miss the straight talk on what it’s like being married to a physician! Meroë Adeeb Tchomobe joins us to peel back the layers, and show that you can be married to someone with a demanding career, while also pursuing your own on the latest episode of The Mrs. Beside podcast! Twitter Day of Meroë Adeeb Tchomobe, a classical #opera singer joins us to dish on what it’s like being #married to a #doctor, and having your own #career on EP4 of Mrs. Beside’s #Podcast.Mrs. Meroë Adeeb Tchomobe shares with us how she fell in love, got #married, and continued to pursue her #career in classical #opera while her husband followed his dreams of being a #physician on EP4 of The Mrs. Beside’s #Podcast.   Next day reminder Meroë Adeeb Tchomobe pursued her career in classical opera despite the demands and joys that come with being married to a doctor. She lays it all out there about what it’s like being the wife to a physician, and being determined to have a career as well. You won’t want to miss this! Head on over to iTunes and check it out.
    Show More Show Less
    26 mins
  • Unrestricted

    Unrestricted
    Jul 10 2020
    Unrestricted with Victoria Virgo-Levy I’m so excited to share my conversation with Victoria Virgo-Levy with you today! We really got to dive in to what the realities are of being married to a doctor, pageant life and how to chase your goals unrestricted! We’re even sharing a few things couples “must do” that can help to keep your relationship on track when medical school demands most of your spouse’s time. We’re sharing the real deal of what it’s like being married to a physician!   What we’re talking about Growing Up To Be A DoctorChallenges of Being Married to a Medical StudentPageantry Life   Growing Up To Be A Doctor Growing up in the Caribbean, from the time you’re very young, adults will often anticipate which career field you’ll enter when you become an adult. For Victoria Virgo-Levy that was a career in medicine. After completing her degree in Biology, she ended up in medicine, but not in the way her family expected. She found her skills met her passion in the real estate industry and has become a successful realtor in New Jersey.   Challenges of Being Married to a Medical Student Although she chose not to become a physician herself, as life would have it, she married a medical student. Being the wife of a med student comes with its own set of challenges...from having an extremely demanding schedule to carrying the load of debt that comes with medical school. Being married to the love of your life is fulfilling, but there are many myths out there when your spouse happens to be in medicine. I’m discussing one or two of those with Victoria today.   Pageantry Life Victoria grew up participating in pageants, which had its own sets of benefits and drawbacks. One of the benefits she drew from pageantry was developing the skills of public speaking and interacting with others from a multitude of cultures. I’m discussing the details of pageantry life with Victoria, and how it led to the career path she ended up choosing. Sometimes our best laid plans don’t lead to our originally intended destination. Is your roadmap leading where you thought it would? LINKS MENTIONED Victoria Virgo-Levy’s Instagram https://www.instagram.com/victoria_virgo/ Victoria Virgo-Levy’s Facebook https://www.facebook.com/victoria.virgo.9 Victoria Virgo-Levy’s Coldwell Banker Facebook https://www.facebook.com/VictoriaVirgoSimplyLuxury/ Victoria Virgo-Levy’s Coldwell Banker Website https://victoriavirgo.cbintouch.com/     TIMESTAMPS 2:46 - 3:18 (32 sec VVL) So, when I was a kid...making things happen. I’m really good with that.7:07 - 7:43 (36 sec JP & VVL) How have you helped to keep your marriage...each other, especially our needs and our wants. QUOTES Do whatever that makes you happy. - VVLThe moment someone hears you’re married to a doctor, and they do not understand the struggle. They look at you sideways thinking that you have it made, and actually you don’t. - VVL SOCIAL MEDIA TEXT Facebook Page  Victoria Virgo-Levy shares with us her journey into medicine, and how it didn’t end up like she expected. Instead of being a physician, she married one, and it comes with some serious demands. We’re discussing the myths of being married to a doctor, and ways to keep your marriage alive despite the challenges on the latest episode of The Mrs. Beside podcast! Twitter Day of Victoria Virgo-Levy shares her #journey into a career of being a #realtor, what it’s like being #married to a #doctor, and how #pageantry prepared her for more than just the stage on EP5 of Mrs. Beside’s #Podcast.Join me as I talk with Victoria Virgo-Levy about what it’s like being #married to a #physician, and how #pageant life prepared her for her career as a #realtor on EP5 of The Mrs. Beside’s #Podcast. Next day reminder Ever wonder what it’s like being married to a physician? I’m chatting with Victoria Virgo-Levy about the challenges that we encounter when our spouse happens to be a doctor, and ways we keep our marriages alive despite the demands of a medical career on the latest episode of The Mrs. Beside Podcast. Head on over to iTunes and check it out!
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    21 mins
  • Unafraid

    Unafraid
    Jul 17 2020

    Unafraid with Ashley Bailey #6

    My latest guest, Ashley Bailey, is no stranger to the medical world. She originally wanted to become a doctor, but decided the reality of a medical career didn’t merge with what she wanted, so she went into the corporate side of healthcare instead. As the wife of a physician, Ashley drops some truth and tips on how to meet new friends during residency, how to take turns prioritizing dual careers, and some of the sacrifices that accompany such a face-paced and demanding career as I talk with her today.

    Getting through residency in a new place can be exciting and fun!

    What we’re talking about

    • Meeting New Friends During Residency
    • Build Your Community - For Right Now and/or Forever
    • How to Prioritize Your Career AND Your Spouse’s
    • Sacrifices of a Career in Medicine

    Meeting New Friends During Residency

    Residency is a notoriously tough time for everyone in the family, but it doesn’t have to be all about missing some of your old favorite hang outs and besties. Ashley and I are talking about methods to meet some new friends, find out about hot spots in your new area, and how to dive into the new culture like a local. Having been through the residency period, and come out on the other side with some good friends and great memories, Ashley is dishing on how she did it.

     

    How to Prioritize Your Career AND Your Spouse’s

    Your spouse is a medical student or physician, and the amount of commitment it demands tends to make their career a priority. Your career is no less important, you’ve worked hard, and you’d like to see the fruits of your labor. There are ways to launch your own career into orbit, even when your partner’s career seems to dictate the day to day rhythm of your life. We’re diving into how Ashley has carved out a career in corporate healthcare despite moving for residency and the challenges of her husband’s job.

     

    Sacrifices of a Career in Medicine

    Although a career in medicine can carry some prestige, it also brings along a lot of sacrifices and challenges. From reorganizing holidays, to missing family get-togethers completely, and others. It’s nice to know you’re not alone. We’re sharing a couple ways that our families have gotten around the demands while still enjoying some of the things that bring us joy.

     

    LINKS MENTIONED

    Ashley’s Website: Tennis Shoes & Tiaras

    https://tennisshoesandtiaras.com/about/

    Ashley Bailey’s Instagram

    https://www.instagram.com/tennisshoesandtiaras/
    Show More Show Less
    32 mins
  • Uncensored

    Uncensored
    Jul 24 2020

    **Warning - Listener Discretion is Advised ** 

    This was one of the realest conversations for my podcast yet! Two moms talk straight and completely UNCENSORED. My guest today, Jennifer McDade, mastered life and had a flourishing career BEFORE marriage but was faced with the tough decision to set it all aside to start a family with the man of her dreams. And boy does some serious wisdom to share with us. Listen in as we chat about getting lost in the rat race of parenting and being a spouse, tailoring your parenting for each child, and what we’re teaching our kids by what we model for them every day.

    This is an episode you won’t want to miss!

    What we’re talking about

    • Prioritizing You!
    • Tailoring Your Parenting For Each Child
    • Teaching Our Kids By Our Actions Every Day

     

    Getting Lost In the Rat Race

    As a new spouse, Jennifer decided to retire from teaching. It was a struggle, but a decision she wanted to make so they could have a family. It wasn’t long before they had three children and she didn’t recognize herself anymore. Then she had guilt about trying to find herself! Mom guilt is real, y’all. What we don’t realize though, is that most of the time we unknowingly bring it on ourselves. We’re talking about the slippery slope of doing so much for others that we lose ourselves, and how we have clawed our way back out of that habit, while becoming the best version of ourselves for our families.

     

    Tailoring Your Parenting For Each Child

    As we talked about being authentic to ourselves, we dove into how each of our kids is so different from one another, and how parenting them all the same just doesn’t work. Celebrating each of them for their individuality may seem more difficult on the surface, but, in reality, it makes our lives a bit calmer because each feels seen and recognized for who they truly are. It’s an offshoot of the lesson of being authentic to yourself.

     

    Teaching Our Kids By Our Actions Every Day

    We all want our children to somehow absorb all the things we expect of them and would like to teach them. But what we don’t always realize is that we are teaching them more than we know by our own behavior and what we say. We are their teachers 24/7, whether we acknowledge it or not. Jennifer and I chatted more about not only being authentic for ourselves, but for our children. It’s when we are the best version of ourselves that we can be the best spouse for our partner, the best parent for our children, and the best friend to others. 

    Are you being authentic with yourself and others?

     TIMESTAMPS

    • 9:10 -9:57 (47 sec JP & JM) To some degree people struggle with...me being authentic to myself.
    • 13:53 - 14:25 (32 sec JM) You have to be who you are regardless...simple to say, but it really doesn’t.
    • 17:15 - 18:00 (45 sec JP & JM) One of the things that I try to do as much as possible...as opposed to celebrating who they are.
    • 22:37 - 23:01 (24 sec JP) I had an entire meltdown in this house...where nobody had to think about anything.
    • 27:47 - 28:22 (35 sec JP) My point is, for those of you that are listening...something else will always take that time.
    • 28:50 - 29:16 (26 sec JM) My kids seem to enjoy when I’m enjoying myself...for whatever it is, I do that.

    QUOTES

    1. Being a mother is the hardest, and most rewarding job, that one can ever have. - JP
    2. People see the stay at home mom as the kept woman. - JM
    3. It’s not how I say it. It’s what I say. The content is not going to change. - JM
    4. You have to do what makes life good for you, and whatever that means, it has to be on your terms. You can’t let society dictate that for you. - JM
    5. It’s about, in each phase of your life, maximizing the joy in it. - JP
    6. If you always live your life trying to please people, you will be exhausted and very unhappy. - JP
    7. Be authentic to yourself. - JM
    8. We can define our children without knowing that’s what we’re doing. - JM
    9. Your children’s accomplishments don’t define you as a person. You can’t use their accomplishments as validation. - JP
    10. I lost myself in the rat race of motherhood and being a spouse, and then I had the nerve to feel guilty for trying to find myself. - JM
    11. That mom guilt is really real. - JP
    12. Get those kids to help you! - JP
    13. I need to be the best version of me, so I can be the best mother, the best wife, the best daughter, etc., and it all starts with being the best me. - JM
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    46 mins