Friends, it’s been a minute.

I’m deeply troubled by the times - yet, I’m honoured to share this conversation with Nisha Moodley, an integrative leadership coach, community builder, and founder of the Center for Devotional Leadership.

We have been in mutual orbit for years, including sharing a number of mutual friends and an appreciation for each other’s work in the realms of cultural healing.

While much of our current collective attention is fixed on the horrific revelations of the Epstein files, Nisha and I sit on either side of this inquiry to ask: What is the deeper work required of us now?

Nisha shares her perspective on the “holy wail” currently rising from women and mothers—a fierce refusal to continue normalizing a culture of domination and extraction. We explore the “social codes” that keep men silent and the “alpha” masks used to hide deep-seated anxiety. Together, we look at the necessity of moving beyond the trap of being a “good man” to instead take a clear-eyed look at the shadow we all carry.

Central to our talk is the exploration of matriarchy- not as a mirror of patriarchal power, but a return to the sacred circle, where our societies are reorganized around kinship, service, and a “soft-bellied” freedom that makes the world safer for all our children.

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For men who wish to do this inner work, you are invited to my upcoming immersion & online cohorts:

* Awakening the Wild Erotic, Vancouver Island (April 24-26)

* The Deep Masculine, Online (next cohort begins May 3)

As well, don’t miss the innaugural Cascadia Men’s Conference, happening just north of Vancouver Aug 6-9th, 2026.

LINKS

* Nisha Moodley Official Website

* Nisha Moodley on IG

* Nisha’s post An Open Letter to Men

SHOW NOTES

* The collective “quiet heaviness” and nervous system exhaustion felt in the wake of the Epstein files and global revelations of exploitation.

* Why Nisha feels a “holy wail” of rage rather than shock, as these headlines mirror patterns women have navigated for a lifetime.

* The danger of distancing ourselves from “bad actors” and how that prevents us from seeing the micro-ways domination exists in our own communities.

* Ian’s reflection on moving from being a “good man” who points fingers to a man who stands with others to say, “Brother, we can do better.”

* A story from Nisha’s youth about the “parking lot code” and how social pressure often forces men to choose status over the truth.

* An analysis of the “alpha” performance—using figures like Andrew Tate—as a mask for deep-seated anxiety and a desperate need for control.

* How we have all internalized systems of domination and extraction, even in our most personal relationships and parenting.

* Why we often use outrage as a “safe” way to avoid the deeper, more transformative vulnerability of collective grief.

* The unique healing and “dropping of the guard” that happens in single-gender spaces when the performance for the other is removed.

* Exploring “matriarchy” as the fundamental antidote to patriarchy—shifting from a culture of domination to one that centers the protection of life.

* The shift from “power over” to “power with,” moving from ego-driven heroism to leadership rooted in service to the whole.

* A closing vision of “soft-bellied” freedom—the ability to live without armor and build a world that prioritizes the well-being of all children.

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My guest today is Miki Dedijer, a writer, ecologist, and mentor devoted to the ancestral arts of belonging, fatherhood, and grassroots initiation.

In our conversation, Miki invites us to look at the crisis facing young men and the absence of meaningful adulthood in our time. He speaks to the ecological and emotional consequences of failing to initiate the young, how untempered fire in boys becomes turmoil in families, and how communities have lost their memory of what it means to guide the next generation.

Together we explore initiation not as an event, but a cultural responsibility. Miki shares how rites of passage serve life itself, how they awaken responsibility in parents and mentors, and how inviting others to help mature a child becomes its own act of initiation.

We touch on the longing that erupts when boys are unmet, the loneliness of a culture without elders, and the courage required to guide a child into a larger story.

Miki reminds us that initiation is not about control. It is about stewarding a young man’s genius back into the world. It is a return to the village, a remembering of our place in the weave of life, and an invitation to rebuild the cultural vessels that once shaped humans capable of serving a cosmos greater than ourselves.

Register for an upcoming webinar: FROM SCREENS TO SOUL: Raising Embodied Young Men (Dec 2)

You’ll learn how to help steward your sons toward this deeper connection — how to anchor them in their bodies, nurture their love of the living world, and prepare them for future relationships that are grounded, heartfelt, and capable of holding real intimacy. This webinar offers parents and mentors a way to guide boys toward a young manhood shaped not by algorithms, but by aliveness.

LINKS

* Miki’s Official Website

SHOW NOTES

* 00:09 Miki describes where he is and the seasonal mood on the west coast of Sweden.

* 02:52 His early work as an environmental journalist and the shift toward quieter, place-based stories.

* 04:38 Moving from grand narratives of saving the world into intimate, relational, land-rooted life.

* 12:28 The pine tree story and how tending the land taught him the meaning of belonging.

* 17:04 Entering fatherhood later in life and wanting his sons to grow up rooted in place.

* 18:24 Burnout as a turning point that reopened childhood vitality and led to cultural mentorship.

* 21:39 The guiding question: how do we steward children well through life’s stages?

* 24:07 Recognizing and honoring childhood stages long before adolescence arrives.

* 26:32 Why initiating teenagers may be the most ecologically responsible act we can take.

* 27:15 How asking others to help mature a child initiates the adults themselves.

* 31:05 What happens when a culture fails to initiate its boys.

* 37:15 The tensions Miki encountered guiding his own sons and how conflict became tempering.

* 54:04 Why integration after a rite of passage is essential for families and community.

ADDITIONAL EPISODES

I’m pleased to share this #mini episode with Maria Souza, a Comparative Mythologist, Poet, and Educator, and founder of Women & Mythology.

As we name in the conversation, we’ve known about each other for some time and appreciated each others’ work from afar. Just as Robert Bly’s ‘Iron John’ is the book that ignited the mythopoetic men’s movement, so too, does Clarissa Pinkola Estés’s book ‘Women Who Run With The Wolves’ occupy that position for women.

Maria shares how her journey with myth began has evolved into her podcast, along with courses that bring mythopoetic depth into the lived experience of women today. We touch on iconic stories like La Loba, Seal Skin/Soul Skin, and La Llorona—each a mirror of feminine initiation, creativity, and soul recovery.

In this tradition, myth isn’t escape - it’s a way of waking up, a path to gather the scattered bones of the psyche (and culture) and sing them back to life.

LINKS

* Women & Mythology Website

* Women & Mythology on Instagram

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SHOW NOTES

* 0:00 — Ian welcomes Maria and introduces a dialogue on Women Who Run With the Wolves as a counterpart to Iron John in the mythopoetic tradition.

* 1:17 — Maria recalls her studies with Martin Shaw and her search for stories that speak directly to women’s initiatory paths.

* 2:41 — Early book study circles evolved into her first myth-based teaching course.

* 4:46 — Contextualizing Clarissa Pinkola Estés’ book: a 30-year creation published in 1990, still resonant due to its timeless archetypal themes.

* 7:13 — The book quickly became a global bestseller, sparking women’s groups and soulful discussion circles.

* 10:01 — Myth gives women a language to “wake up” to their inner and outer experiences, offering deep recognition and practical insight.

* 11:49 — Stories like Seal Skin/Soul Skin, Baba Yaga, and La Llorona reveal key initiations around creativity, intuition, and integration.

* 21:15 — Ian reflects on the power of La Loba’s “singing over the bones” as a metaphor for enlivening the psyche.

* 29:48 — Maria describes her “Year of Myths” immersion—one myth a month as a practice of ongoing maturation.

* 34:36 — She shares her next creative focus: introducing Brazilian myths and under-told folktales to her community.

“Eros is not something you get from another person. It’s the aliveness that rises when you are fully in your body.” - Victor Warring

My guest today is Victor Warring, a somatic educator and founder of Rewilding Eros - a body-centered path to reclaiming our natural erotic intelligence.

In our conversation today, Victor invites us to look deeply at the condition of modern men: domesticated human animals, cut off from the wild currents that once shaped our bodies, relationships, and souls. He names how much of our struggle with intimacy, desire, and disconnection is not personal failure, but the inheritance of a culture that has forgotten the way of village.

Together we explore the meaning of Rewilding Eros - how centuries of colonization and conditioning have constricted men’s vitality, and how we might return to a more embodied, enlivened masculinity. We speak of civilization and desire, patriarchy and the loss of community, the tyranny of the dyad, and the hunger for wholeness that haunts the modern man.

Victor reminds us that Eros is not merely sex, but the living current of aliveness itself - an invitation for men to reclaim their erotic sovereignty and rejoin the flow of life.

LINKS

* Rewilding Eros - Victor’s Office Website

* Rewilding Eros on IG

* Book - Monogamous Mind, Polyamorous Terror

SHOW NOTES

* 00:55 — Opening with embodied presence to reveal the importance of grounding in sensation before exploring sexuality and intimacy.

* 02:50 — Rewilding Eros framed as reconnecting to the deep, natural erotic intelligence that lives in the flesh, not the mind.

* 04:45 — Men’s struggles around desire and intimacy understood as symptoms of domestication, not evidence of personal failure or inadequacy.

* 06:20 — Patriarchal systems teach men to control themselves and others, while simultaneously cutting them off from their own vitality.

* 08:55 — A wider historical and evolutionary view shows our current way of living is the anomaly, not the baseline of human experience.

* 10:53 — Cultural norms become invisible, shaping what we think is normal in relationships, sex, and masculinity itself.

* 12:55 — Wildness reframed as authentic human expression that is often more attuned and less harmful than “civilized” behavior.

* 16:00 — Sexual disconnection emerges in captivity; when context limits freedom, erotic life withers — just like animals in a zoo.

* 19:20 — The drop in desire inside long-term relationships is tied to isolation and stress, not a lack of attraction or compatibility.

* 20:00 — The nuclear couple becomes overburdened when expected to meet every relational and erotic need without communal support.

* 23:10 — Secure attachment has roots in village life where many caregivers hold the child — not a single partner doing it all.

* 27:15 — When relationships are held in a wider web of kinship, Eros can breathe again and love becomes less pressured and more alive.

* 32:40 — Erotic sovereignty arises from within; Eros is not something we get from others but something we generate by being fully alive.

* 36:55 — Eros includes sex but extends far beyond it into movement, creativity, and the embodied flow of everyday life.

* 39:20 — Pornography becomes a substitute when men lose access to their own erotic source; healing means coming home to the body’s desire.

An audio version of my long-form essay that explores my encounter at the 40th Anniversary of the Minnesota Men's Conference in 2024. For the full references and links to supporting interviews, check out the essay on Substack.

My guest today is Jonathan Stensland, a poet and long-time collaborator and friend of Robert Bly.

This conversation was recorded in 2024 at the 40th anniversary of the Minnesota Men's Conference. Speaking from the banks of the Saint Croix River, Jonathan offers a unique insider's perspective on four decades of men's work.

In his early 20s, Jonathan was involved with Bly as he worked on his seminal book ‘Iron John’, through typing-up handwritten pages, revisions, and countless conversations- a process he describes as practically like quilt making. His relationship was deeper than professional collaboration, as akin to a godson to Bly and his wife Ruth.

In our conversation today, we explore the origins and evolution of the mythopoetic men's movement, from its roots in Robert Bly's poetry about fathers and grief. We delve into the power of men gathering around the goodness that exists in the marrow of masculinity.

He speaks to the movement's influence on broader culture, and the morphogenetic field that made new ways of being available to men everywhere.

We ask: What does it mean for a 40-year tradition to cross from the wilderness into culture? How can we broaden the spaces where men can do the necessary soul work of maturation?

And what mythic stories might guide the next chapter of this work?

You’re invited to join the 41st Fall Conference Oct 7-12, 2025 “Men Who Stand Atop the Old Mound of Miracles”

Catch the companion conversations to this episode:

My guest today is Miguel Rivera, a seasoned ceremonialist, musician, and ritualist.

This conversation is a two part series recorded in 2024 at the 40th anniversary of the Minnesota Men’s Conference. Miguel is a longtime facilitator to the conference where he has played a pivotal role in guiding men through transformative experiences.

Miguel's journey began in the vibrant cultural landscape of the 1980s, where he was drawn to the path of healing through indigenous medicine and becoming a Sundancer. His involvement in the men's movement began with an invitation from Robert Bly in 1992, where he suddenly found himself at the heart of a cultural force that sought to reconnect men with their inner selves and the sacred.

The Mythic Masculine is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

In our conversation today, we delve into the transformative power of men's gatherings and the role of ritual in healing and initiation. Miguel shares his experiences of how these ceremonies amplify healing and create a sense of belonging and brotherhood.

We also discuss the challenges faced by modern men, including the "lone wolf syndrome" and the importance of finding older men who can offer guidance and mentorship. Miguel's insights into fathering and the necessity of creating a safe and nurturing environment for the next generation are both poignant and profound.

We ask: what is the legacy and evolution of the mythopoetic men’s movement? How can modern men find their way back to a sense of community and belonging in an increasingly isolated world?

You’re invited to join the 41st Fall Conference Oct 7-12, 2025 “Men Who Stand Atop the Old Mound of Miracles”

Also don’t miss my interview last year with conference organizers Walton Stanley and Ben Dennis.

ADDITIONAL EPISODES

Check out these conversations for more on the history of the men’s movement.