In this episode of The Open Bedroom Podcast, I talk with show listener Mr. Pollyanna, who shares his journey from an evangelical Christian upbringing and purity culture to embracing emotional vulnerability and polyamory. We discuss the damaging effects of toxic masculinity, religious shame, and emotional abuse, and how these have shaped our relationships and intimacy.

Mr. Pollyanna offers insights on breaking free from patriarchal norms, cultivating tenderness, and building healthier, more authentic connections. Our conversation provides practical advice for men seeking emotional growth, highlighting the importance of compassion, listening, and redefining masculinity beyond traditional religious expectations.

Guest Introduction & Background (00:01:06)

Jen and Mr. Pollyanna share how they met, his Christian upbringing, and his journey to deconstructing faith.

Purity Culture and Its Impact (00:02:04)

Announcement of the episode’s main topic: how purity culture negatively affects men.

Mr. Pollyanna’s Upbringing & Marriage (00:02:14)

He describes his liberal Christian background, marrying into a conservative family, and early relationship challenges.

Toxic Family Dynamics & Church Involvement (00:04:37)

Explains family abuse, church leadership, and the dysfunction in evangelical communities.

Deconstruction & Anonymity (00:06:09)

Discusses leaving the church, being anonymous on TikTok, and ongoing family abuse and shame.

Purity Culture Guilt & Relationship Roles (00:07:33)

Talks about guilt from past relationships, controlling partners, and the “happy dingbat” dynamic.

Toxic Faith & Family Control (00:08:40)

Describes toxic faith, family control over finances, education, and the struggle to break free.

Leaving the Church & Ongoing Shame (00:10:07)

Explores the lasting effects of purity culture, ongoing guilt, and the contradiction of forgiveness.

Privilege & Abuse in Religious Marriages (00:11:11)

Acknowledges male privilege, shares stories of women’s abuse, and his involvement in healing communities.

Divorce & Breaking Free (00:13:55)

Describes the turning point leading to divorce and the relief of leaving guilt and shame behind.

Host’s Personal Experience with Purity Culture (00:14:40)

Jen shares her Catholic upbringing, friends’ experiences with virginity, and the shame surrounding sex.

Dave Ramsey, Christian Marriages & Sexlessness (00:16:20)

Jen discusses Christian influencers, sexless marriages, and questions why men stay in unfulfilling relationships.

Why Men Stay in Unhappy Marriages (00:18:38)

Mr. Pollyanna explains men’s reasons for staying, lack of emotional skills, and societal changes.

Generational Masculinity & Emotional Deficits (00:21:23)

Explores how past generations shaped men’s inability to be loving and emotionally available.

Homosocial Behavior & Male Loneliness (00:23:52)

Discusses men seeking approval from other men, lack of feminine influence, and self-inflicted loneliness.

Religion, Family, and Toxic Masculinity (00:29:17)

Examines how religion and toxic masculinity perpetuate control, emotional distance, and family conflict.

Nurturing, Intimacy, and Ending Patriarchy (00:30:34)

Advocates for nurturing, emotional intimacy, and how this could challenge patriarchy.

Post-Divorce Relationships & Deconstruction (00:31:32)

Describes dating after divorce, deconstructing faith, and the impact of “the one” narrative.

Solo Polyamory & Relationship Dynamics (00:40:16)

Discusses life as a solo poly man, benefits of independence, and maintaining multiple relationships.

Emotional Intelligence & Being a Better Lover (00:43:19)

Talks about emotional IQ, learning from books, and the importance of tenderness in relationships.

Advice for Men: Listening & Presence (00:45:18)

Offers practical advice for men: listen to women, provide comfort, and be emotionally present.

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In this episode of The Open Bedroom Podcast, I welcome back sexuality and tantra expert Melissa Louise for a deep dive into men’s sexual energy, ejaculation, and the cultural narratives around male sexuality.

Melissa shares her personal stories and offers practical advice on how to harness sexual energy for vitality, creativity, and deeper intimacy.

We explore how early life experiences shape our relationships, discuss the importance of “sexual currency,” and share techniques like breathwork and intention-setting.

Melissa also introduces her “Man in Control” program, which provides tools for men to improve their sexual health. This episode encourages you to rethink sexuality as a source of connection and empowerment.

CHAPTERS:Melissa’s Origin Story (00:02:08) Working with Men and Women (00:06:34) Cultural Attitudes Toward Male Sexuality (00:09:00) The Power and Depletion of Ejaculate (00:10:31) Daoist Perspectives on Ejaculation (00:13:49) Historical and Cultural Shifts in Sexuality (00:15:29) Sexual Energy and Cultural Differences (00:16:34) Sexual Repression and Relationship Dynamics (00:19:10) Sexual Energy as Life Force (00:21:00)ABOUT MELISSA LOUISE:Melissa Louise is Your Absolute Pleasure Advocate Internationally recognized for her no BS, authentic expression she brings warmth, raw honesty, and unapologetic depth to the most intimate parts of being human.Melissa supports women to reclaim their non negotiable and divine birthright to feel alive, orgasmic, and turned the fuck on — no matter their age or relationship status.Melissa supports men to become more attractive, powerful, and trustworthy by mastering their sexual energy, lasting longer in bed, and unlocking freedom in their bodies and bank accounts.SUBSTACK: https://melissalouise.substack.com/subscribeMan in Control Program:https://melissalouise.world/man-6739?am_id=jennifer7672Follow Melissa Louise:https://www.instagram.com/melissa_louise_intimacy/Follow The Open Bedroom Podcast:https://www.instagram.com/theopenbedroompodcast/

In this episode of The Open Bedroom Podcast, I share the story of how Scott and I decided to get married after four years together. I reflect on our initial hesitations, the practical reasons behind our choice—including financial planning and a prenup—and our intimate, DIY park ceremony officiated by a close friend. I discuss the meaning behind our vows, our open relationship, and the importance of creating a wedding that felt authentic to us. I also offer insights into our life together, our recent home remodel, and encourage you to embrace relationships on your own terms.

Introduction & Wrestling with Marriage (00:00:03) Jen introduces the podcast and discusses her and Scott’s initial hesitations and conversations about marriage.

Financial Commitments & Decision to Marry (00:01:09) They consider buying a home and business together, leading to discussions about legal and financial security.

Prenup & Ceremony Planning (00:03:37) Jen and Scott agree on a prenup and begin planning a small, private ceremony focused on themselves.

Choosing the Location & Officiant (00:05:47) They select a park for the ceremony and ask their friend Steph, a minister, to officiate.

Photographer & Ceremony Details (00:06:50) Jen arranges for Ashton, their photographer, to capture the ceremony and describes the intimate guest list.

Wedding Attire & Weather (00:07:49) Jen shares her process of finding a dress, dealing with unexpected cold weather, and last-minute outfit changes.

Comparing Past Weddings (00:10:39) Jen reflects on her previous two weddings, their costs, and how this third wedding is different.

Ring Story & Design (00:12:29) She tells the story of her engagement ring, its history, and how she redesigned it for each marriage.

Vows & Writing Process (00:17:11) Jen discusses writing personalized vows, the importance of privacy, and how their open relationship influenced their promises.

Deciding Not to Invite Kids (00:20:23) She explains why they chose not to include their children in the ceremony for privacy and honesty in their vows.

Handmade Bouquet & Wedding Accoutrements (00:22:35) Jen describes making her own bouquet and boutonniere, and the importance of small details for photos.

DIY Wedding & Costs (00:26:18) She encourages listeners to have simple, affordable weddings and details their total expenses.

Scott’s Wedding Outfit (00:27:14) Jen talks about shopping for Scott’s non-traditional wedding attire and how it fit their style.

Building a Life Together & New Home (00:28:05) Jen shares about buying a house, remodeling, and the practical aspects of merging lives and finances.

Open Relationship & Home Design (00:30:05) They design their home, including a shower for three, to fit their open relationship lifestyle.

Reflections on Relationship Changes (00:32:15) Jen recaps the year’s changes in their relationship dynamics, including breakups and new dating approaches.

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