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The Pattern I Couldn’t Ignore Anymore

The Pattern I Couldn’t Ignore Anymore

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This moves into territory where discomfort quietly crosses into danger.

I share what unfolded in a relationship built on misplaced trust and long-standing familiarity. A man who had been part of my life since childhood. Someone who knew my history, my vulnerabilities, and how to present himself as safe.

What followed was manipulation that hid in plain sight. Lies that unravelled slowly. Financial deceit. Boundary violations that escalated into stalking. And the disorientating experience of realising that the person causing harm was doing so deliberately and repeatedly.

I talk about how trust can be exploited when it’s earned early and never re-examined. How patterns repeat, not because we’re naïve, but because we’re conditioned to minimise discomfort until it becomes something far more serious.

This episode also explores the strange aftermath. Conversations with people who came after me. Stories that mirrored my own. And the unexpected moment of closure that arrived years later in the form of an apology I never anticipated, but deeply needed.

This isn’t about blame or shock value. It’s about recognising the line between something feeling wrong and something being dangerous. About understanding how manipulation works. And about reclaiming your narrative once the truth is finally clear.

For entrepreneurs, creatives, and leaders, I also reflect on why personal stories, when shared with intention, can become powerful assets rather than private burdens.

This is the part where survival turns into understanding.

About Sandra:

Sandra ten Hoope is a Sales & Story Strategist and corporate attorney. Drawing from her own experiences with three challenging relationships, she empowers professional women to rewrite their personal narratives. In her 2020 book, Do Not Try HIM at Home, Sandra reveals the duality of her life—successfully closing multi-million-pound deals while living in fear at home. The book struck a chord with countless women who saw their own struggles reflected in her story, offering them comfort and a sense of community.

Many entrepreneurs among her readers reached out, eager to understand how their personal stories could enhance their business growth. Sandra's answer was clear: personal experiences, no matter how difficult, are invaluable assets. As a Certified Business Strategist and Master Persuader, she created the Stop Waffling, Start Selling podcast, helping business owners harness the power of their unique stories. This storytelling approach personalizes brands and draws in clients, with Sandra advocating for strategic sharing, even in small doses, to make a powerful impact.

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