Hola, Hola mis1 Jefas… Hello my Boss Ladies

Welcome to the 1st episode of La Jefa Unfiltered, the space where we speak truth, heal out loud, and remind ourselves of who we are—powerful, worthy, and deserving.

Today’s episode is called “The Permission to Put Yourself First.” And before we go any further, I want to say this clearly, slowly, and with intention:

You do not need permission from anyone—but if you’ve been waiting for it, this is it.

Because somewhere along the way, many of us were taught that putting ourselves first makes us selfish… dramatic… difficult… or ungrateful.

Especially as women.

Especially as Latinas.

And today, we’re breaking that belief.

Let’s talk about where this guilt even comes from.

Many of us were raised to believe:

• Family comes first—always
• A good woman sacrifices
• A good mother puts herself last
• A good partner pours endlessly
• A strong woman doesn’t complain

We were praised for being:

• The dependable one
• The fixer
• The caretaker
• The one who never says no

But no one taught us how to rest.

No one taught us how to ask for help.

No one taught us that we matter too.

Instead, we learned to feel guilty for:

• Taking a break
• Saying no
• Choosing ourselves
• Resting without earning it

And over time, that guilt becomes a prison.

Let me say this louder for the people in the back:

✨ Self-care is not selfish—it is necessary. ✨

You cannot pour from an empty cup.

You cannot give your best while running on exhaustion, resentment, and burnout.

Self-care is:

• Protecting your mental health
• Listening to your body
• Setting boundaries
• Saying no without explaining
• Choosing rest without guilt

And self-care isn’t always bubble baths and spa days.

Sometimes self-care is:

• Walking away
• Ending a relationship
• Going to therapy
• Turning your phone off
• Choosing peace over being right

Taking care of yourself does not take away from others—it allows you to show up healthier, calmer, and more present.

As Latinas, we carry generations of expectations.

We are taught to be:

• Selfless
• Loyal to a fault
• Available at all times
• The emotional glue of the family

And while those values come from love, they can also come at a cost.

Because culture should be something that supports us—not something that suffocates us.

Breaking the cycle looks like:

• Choosing yourself even when others don’t understand
• Setting boundaries with family
• Redefining what being a “good woman” means
• Understanding that honoring yourself honors future generations

You are not abandoning your culture—you are evolving it.

Here’s the truth:

Guilt is a learned response—not a life sentence.

When you start prioritizing yourself, guilt will show up.

That doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong.

It means you’re doing something new.

Try this:

• Replace guilt with curiosity
• Ask yourself: Why does choosing myself feel wrong?
• Remind yourself: My needs are valid.

Start small:

• Schedule time for yourself and treat it as non-negotiable
• Say no once this week without over-explaining
• Rest before you’re exhausted

The more you choose yourself, the quieter the guilt becomes.

You are allowed to:

• Change your mind
• Outgrow people
• Choose peace
• Protect your energy
• Put yourself first

You don’t need to be on the verge of burnout to deserve rest.

You don’t need permission to take care of yourself.

You don’t need to explain your boundaries.