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Mum and I, are yet again so proud to bring you episode four! Even with a life glitch at the end.

You thought leaving chaos would bring peace. Instead, you feel... lost.

In this episode of The Perspective Podcast, we unpack what most people skip talking about the identity crash that hits after survival mode ends. When the drama fades and the adrenaline dies down, who are you without the chaos that once defined you?

Mum and I explore:

• Why calm often feels empty and uncomfortable and what that means.
• What happens inside your nervous system when survival mode shuts off.
• How identity built around chaos collapses and what breaks first (sleep, confidence, boundaries, routine).
• The subtle sabotage that comes before breakthrough: eating habits, social withdrawal, overthinking.
• Why real self-confidence doesn’t come immediately after “escaping” it needs time, patience, and honesty.

This episode isn’t about quick fixes or surface-level inspo.
It’s for those who feel unmoored after leaving the storm people ready to rebuild identity, confidence and boundaries from the ground up.

If you’ve ever thought: “Why do I feel worse after I escaped?” this conversation will help make sense of that feeling.

🎧 Listen, reflect, and decide: who are you becoming when the noise is gone, when you feel alone, when new voids are created.

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Shazmeen also has her podcast LOVE BETTER, on Youtube. as. professional Life and Relationship Coach she covers alot of her teachings on attachment styles, healing through conflict and how to love better.

FOLLOW SHAZMEEN / LOVE BETTER

🔗 Instagram (Love Better):
https://www.instagram.com/shazmeenbank

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https://www.tiktok.com/@shazmeen_bank

🔗 YouTube (Love Better):
https://www.youtube.com/@shazmeenbank

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If life has finally calmed down but you still don’t feel like yourself, this episode is going to land deep. There is a moment that no one prepares you for the quiet after the chaos where everything looks better, safer, and more stable… but internally, you feel numb, disconnected, or strangely “off.”

This episode is about that in-between place.
The space where you’re no longer surviving, yet not fully living.
Where your head says everything is fine, but your heart hasn’t caught up yet.
Where you’re functioning, showing up, smiling… but something inside still feels shut down.

In this raw conversation, we explore:

• what emotional numbness really means

• why you can be in a better situation but not feel better inside

• the pressure to “heal perfectly” and why it holds you back

• the fear of slowing down enough to feel again

• how the body stays in survival mode long after the mind moves on

• the confusion of not knowing whether you’re healing… or just disconnected

• the small signs that you are healing even when you don’t recognise them

• the guilt of feeling lost when people expect you to be “better now”

• the moment we both realised we weren’t healing we were simply coping

• the truth about aligning your head and your heart

• why healing is a process of returning to yourself, slowly and imperfectly

We talk about authenticity, numbness, setbacks, identity, nervous system shutdown, finding hope in unexpected moments, and redefining what progress really looks like.

This is an episode for anyone who has ever thought:

• “Why don’t I feel better yet?”

• “Why am I not myself anymore?”

• “Why am I still struggling when nothing is wrong?”

• “Is this numbness normal?”

• “Am I healing… or avoiding?”

If you’re in a season where you’re trying, showing up, holding it together, rebuilding piece by piece you will feel deeply understood here.

Press play. You’re healing more than you realise, and this conversation will help you see the parts of yourself you may have forgotten.

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00:00 Introduction to Mental Fortitude and Resilience

06:53 Building Identity: Becoming a Runner

14:23 The Balance of Pushing Limits and Listening to Your Body

22:44 Navigating Vulnerability in Relationships

27:46 The Importance of Authenticity in Parenting

37:16 The Impact of Honesty in Relationships

43:44 The Role of Physical Activity in Mental Health

52:13 Life's Waves: Understanding Temporary Struggles

01:00:51 The Power of Surrender and Vulnerability

01:13:39 The Journey of Transformation

01:19:55 Choosing Your Hard: The Marathon Experience

01:29:25 The Cookie Jar Philosophy: Proving Your Strength

01:35:34 Leaving Behind the Old Self

01:41:23 Running Together, Growing Apart

There are seasons in life where even brushing your teeth feels hard… and somehow you’re still expected to show up, perform, be “strong”, and carry everyone else.

In this episode of The Perspective Podcast, we open up about what it actually means to build mental fortitude when life is already breaking you down.

This isn’t a “just be disciplined” episode. It’s the story of:

• A 15-year-old Gibran who used to fake every PE note, terrified of being seen running, hating his own body…
  to becoming a runner, a half-marathon finisher, and someone who now chooses hard things on purpose.

• A 39-year-old Shazmeen, in the middle of separation and deep emotional exhaustion, deciding to run a 21km race not to prove anything to the world… but to prove to herself:

  “I am worthy of hard things. And I can do them alone if I have to.”

We talk about:

• How hypnosis, identity shifts (“I am a runner”) and one imagined run with Lewis Hamilton completely changed Gibran’s relationship with movement and his body

• Why doing a half marathon in one of the lowest mental health seasons of our lives wasn’t about fitness it was about building a “cookie jar” of proof that we can survive future storms

• The tension between “Go one more” and “Your body is begging you to rest” and how we see that differently as a 21-year-old son and a 39-year-old mom

• The idea that life comes in waves - and how to survive your own “km 13-15” season, where everything burns and nothing makes sense

• Surrendering to God when motivation, mindset tricks and “just go for a walk” advice stop working

• Why pretending to be “fine” for the people you love actually creates distance, and how real closeness is born in the moments you finally say, “I’m not okay.”

• The mother-son dynamic of learning when to protect… and when to step aside and let the other person build their own strength

If you’re:

• Tired of motivational clichés

• In a season where you feel numb, exhausted, or ashamed that you’re not “doing more”

• Trying to make sense of your pain, your body, your faith, or your relationships

  This episode is a soft but honest hand on your back saying:
  You are not weak for struggling. You are human. And this version of you is still worthy of hard, beautiful things.

🖤 If this resonates, we’d love to hear from you:

• Comment and share: What “wave” are you in right now?

• Send us your uncomfortable question for a future episode via Instagram: @theperspectivepodcastgs

  Email us: Theperpodcast@gmail.com

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