Caregiving in the Sandwich Generation is already a full-contact sport. One minute you’re negotiating with a toddler over broccoli, the next your parents are on the phone… also negotiating, but with guilt trips and passive-aggressive commentary. Cool, cool, cool. So what’s the move when everyone needs something and someone’s being downright difficult?

In this episode of The Sandwich Generation Pod, Robyn and Eliesa talk with family mediator Molly Darsow, owner of Still Waters Mediation. (Yes—family mediator. Because sometimes families need a referee.) Molly shares expert advice on setting boundaries with parents, managing emotional triggers, and improving communication in challenging family dynamics.If you’ve ever thought “there has to be a better way to deal with this,” this one’s for you.

If you’re caring for aging parents while raising kids, navigating sibling tension, or just trying not to lose your mind during one more “interesting” phone call—this episode will give you tools, validation, and maybe even a little laugh.

Takeaways

• We are born into family systems and when our parents age or pass away, those roles within the system are wildly disrupted.
• We always hold onto our inner child.
• When we’re family, we all know each other’s triggers - that never leaves us.
• There might be a generational difference in how we talk about our emotions.
• There is A LOT of vulnerability in aging.
• Shutting down bad behaviors is totally legit.
• It sounds annoying but acceptance, compassion and time are three of the best ways to handle a difficult parent.
• Communication takes active practice on everyone’s part and Molly gives tips on doing this effectively.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction with Molly Darsow of Still Waters Mediation

02:55 What is Mediation and why might I need it?

09:40 Managing Triggers and Emotional Responses

11:39 Strategies for Difficult Conversations

30:31 Establishing Boundaries with Parents

33:47 Acknowledging Loss and Change

38:49 The Driving Conversation - is anything more difficult than this?

48:18 What to do when a parent is guilting you?

58:07 Sibling Relationships and Triangulation

01:05:50 Managing Difficult Parents in Front of Children

01:11:11 Outro

Links and Resources:

Still Waters Mediation

Care out Loud Conversation starter Cards

What is it really like for the Spouses in The Sandwich Generation?! We know it’s emotional for us caregivers, but what is it like on the other side of a relationship? In this episode, Eliesa Johnson and Robyn Frank hand the mic over to their spouses, Nick and EZ, for a refreshingly honest (and occasionally hilarious) take on:

• What actually irritates them (yes, we go there)
• How to keep the spark alive when you're exhausted and emotionally tapped out
• Raising kids while juggling everyone else’s needs
• And what support really looks like—beyond “just tell me what you need”

Spoiler: Love is strong… but so are opinions about buying milk!

If you’re in a relationship in the Sandwich Generation—whether you’re the caregiver or the one wondering how to help—this one’s for you.

Because sometimes, laughter is the only thing keeping everyone sane.

Takeaways

• Everyone is in The Sandwich Generation together when you’re married but in different roles.
• How can a spouse help with the overwhelm of being sandwiched?
• When your spouse takes a back seat - and making them a priority again!
• How are we raising the kids in the middle of it all?
• Keeping the fire alive - intimacy and humor during tough times.
• It takes a village - asking for help!

Chapters

00:00 Reflections on Marriage: Expectations vs. Reality: Getting Married Later in Life and Entering The Sandwich Generation

10:20 When the caregiver is overwhelmed, what's a spouse to do?

18:53 Hormones are a big deal in The Sandwich Generation

30:18 When your spouse takes a back seat and making them a priority again

36:27 Arguments

39:27 So what do you really think of your in laws?

45:36 What about us? What does our aging look like?

48:01 Lets talk about the kids + grief

54:33 Making things easier for the spouse that is overwhelmed by caregiving

59:09 What makes our spouse sexy now in The Sandwich Generation?

01:05:36 Outro

Welcome to Part 2 of our episode on Medical Assistance for Long Term Care in Minnesota. This is a HOT topic and one that deserved some extra time! In this episode, Robyn and Eliesa welcome back Rachel Schromen of Schromen Law, LLC answers more questions and gives practical examples and tips on the strategy and process behind applying for Medical Assistance for Long Term Care. What’s a 5 year look back? What’s a spend down? What are Medical Assistant Divorces and why do they happen? There is so much great information in this episode!

Hot Tip: Spend the money and hire an attorney - it’s worth the investment! We’re not here to sell, we are here to guide you through and hopefully shed some light on a subject that is fraught with financial and emotional loss.

**Please note that we are not offering specific legal advice - Use this advice to ask the questions in your states, with your attorneys.**

Takeaways:

• The benefits of Pre Planning for Long Term Care
• The benefits of hiring an attorney to help - especially to flag for exemptions in MN that get missed a lot.
• Clarifying the terms: 5 year Look Back, Asset Reduction and Spenddown terminology
• The cost of care in America is HIGH right now - we will all need long term planning and the earlier the better because you have options.
• Ongoing MA maintenance
• Some real life examples of a medical assistance spenddown before annual renewals
• Medical Assistance Divorces and why do they happen
• What’s the most frequent question an attorney gets asked by families applying for Medical Assistance for long term care?

Links and Resources:

National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys - a national resource to help connect you with Elder Law Attorneys around the country!

Schromen Law, LLC - Learn more about Rachel’s practice and approach to Estate Planning and Elder Law. We know we’ll be making an appointment!

10 Questions to ask your Estate Planning Attorney - A very cool document provided by Schromen Law, LLC that walks you through questions to ask while calling around for Estate Planning and Elder Law.

Minnesota Application for Medical Assistance for Long Term Care - if you’re interested in a DIY approach. A word of caution - these forms can seem deceivingly simple. We might recommend hiring a pro to help guide you.

Low Income Resources:

Mid Minnesota Legal Aid

LawHelpMN.Org