The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way®️ cover art

The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way®️

The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way®️

Written by: Jen Barnes
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The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way is a podcast for Professional Women with ADHD who are ready to overcome the inner and outer challenges of ADHD and break free from neurotypical rules and expectations to create a business or career that works with their ADHD brain. Together we’ll explore our unique ADHD brains and how to work with them effectively, with ADHD-specific tools and strategies so that you can overcome overwhelm, stay focused, and follow-through without burning out.

The Self-Loved Woman Way is hosted by Jen Barnes, MSW, LICSW, E-RYT500, TCTSY-F, a clinical social worker, psychotherapist, and yoga teacher. She has a passion for working with women who are late-diagnosed or self-diagnosed ADHD as well as those who are ADHD adjacent.

Prior to becoming a clinical social worker and psychotherapist specializing in complex trauma, Jen was an actuarial analyst for nearly four years for a large Minnesota-based company working in retirement plans. She has a Bachelors of Science in Mathematics with a concentration in Actuarial Science and a minor in Computer Science, that started out as an accounting degree with numerous business courses. An entrepreneur herself, she owns and operates two business - one, a full time private psychotherapy practice (since 2014) and the other a Digital Business empowering ADHD women entrepreneurs to move beyond ADHD challenges and create a business that replaces their full time income in 12 months.

Jen’s unique blend of education and experiences as an ADHD woman and psychotherapist coupled with her history and experience in business offers a special twist on navigating the world of entrepreneurship as well as corporate environments as an ADHD woman. Further, her expertise in serving women with complex trauma histories offering an additional, deeper layer to the work of overcoming the pain and even trauma of growing up ADHD in a world not designed for us.

This podcast is a fantastic place to embrace your ADHD (yes, even the challenges), explore ADHD specific ways to work and live in this neurotypical society, and learn ADHD specific strategies for creating and growing your own business or career so you can have the time and energy to do more of what you love.

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Episodes
  • How to Stop Fighting Anxiety with ADHD & Still Function

    How to Stop Fighting Anxiety with ADHD & Still Function
    Jun 24 2026
    You've thought about it. Maybe more than once. What would actually happen if you let go of the push? Not because you don't want to stop hustling, but because some part of you is terrified of what happens if you do. If your nervous system has spent years equating anxiety with getting things done, releasing it doesn't feel like relief. It feels like free-falling. In this episode, I get honest about what it's actually looked like for me to stop relying on anxiety to fuel my ADHD brain and my business, and what showed up in its place. We get into nervous system regulation, the difference between calm and resilience, and the quiet way chronic anxiety and burnout erode executive function over time without you noticing until it's bad. I also talk about where unresolved trauma fits into all of this, because for some of us, calm doesn't register as safety. It registers as a threat. There's a specific moment I describe where I caught myself mid-relapse into a pattern I thought I'd already healed. What I noticed about my own body in that moment is the part I almost didn't share, and it's the piece that changed how I think about recovery. It might change how you think about yours too. — The body cue that tells you you're forcing it, often before your brain catches up — Why calm can feel more threatening than anxiety if you carry certain histories — The real reason your best work rarely happens under pressure, even when it gets done — The five things that quietly decide whether this shift is easy or hard for you PODCAST PAUSE ANNOUNCEMENT As mentioned in this episode, I am pausing my podcast so I can direct tine and energy towards birthing what comes next and creating by moving at the pace of my soul and in alignment with my Self and my intuition. You can stay in touch three ways: Subscribe to my YouTube channel (https://www.youtube.com/@Jenbarnes) where there’s great ADHD content and something new I’m creating around ADHD and money.Join my email club for ADHD women to get weekly-ish insights on ADHD. I almost always share an action step whether it is something to try, a new practice, or something to reflect on or journal about. Join here: https://jenbarnes.kit.com/email-clubFollow me on Substack where I write about matriarchy, the Divine Feminine, and Spirituality If you missed it, watch the Rewire the Worry series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL7JSZUiV8OFHl3wyaekJjOzI5CLTPrjQT —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Why Letting Go Feels So Dangerous 01:00 Picking Up Where We Left Off 02:09 What Resilience Actually Looks Like 05:17 The Cycle I Thought I'd Already Broken 07:56 The Body Signal Most Of Us Miss 10:56 Why Rest Doesn't Feel Restful Anymore 13:32 What Actually Needs To Happen Today 16:11 The Pace That Scares Me Most 24:08 Letting Good Enough Win 27:19 The Five Things That Decide How This Goes 30:44 What Actually Calms A Nervous System 35:34 When Calm Feels Unsafe 37:10 Where This Goes From Here ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support! 💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/ DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice. We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy. If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area. If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.
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    41 mins
  • What Replaces Anxiety When You Finally Stop

    What Replaces Anxiety When You Finally Stop
    Jun 10 2026
    For a long time, anxiety wasn't the enemy. It was the engine. It got you out of bed, through the meeting, past the deadline — and you told yourself that was just how you operated. That was just you. But somewhere underneath all that pushing and doing and surviving, there's a version of you that's exhausted in a way sleep doesn't fix. When women with ADHD start doing the nervous system work — the real kind, not the "take a bubble bath" kind — something unexpected happens. The urgency quiets. The fight-or-flight motor slows down. And then comes the question nobody warned you about. Now what? Because when anxiety stops driving the car, you need something else in the driver's seat. Not another coping mechanism dressed up in wellness language. Something that actually fits how your brain works — your executive function, your attention system, your capacity for what's real and aligned right now. This episode goes there. What the shift out of anxiety-driven action actually feels like (and why it gets messy first)How to protect your time and energy when your brain says everything is equally urgentWhat nervous system regulation actually has to do with getting things doneWhy doing less might be the most strategic move your ADHD brain ever makes The answer to what replaces anxiety isn't what most people expect. And once you hear it, you won't be able to unhear it. —Related videos— 📺 ADHD Nervous System Regulation: Get Unstuck https://youtu.be/Msq4p8ECNOw 📺 ADHD & Phone Addiction: 5 Shocking Truths You Need To Know https://youtu.be/6oaj4uvQBT0 📺 Beat Phone Distraction With These Easy Tricks https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvkqcJkD8n8 —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Quitting Anxiety Fuel 00:51 Podcast Welcome 01:35 When The Motor Stops 04:00 Time 06:14 Move Upstream 09:30 Less X, More Life 11:12 Your Boss And Work 14:43 Home Load 19:34 What to do with all of those Tasks 21:11 Make yourself want to do it 24:20 Most important piece 27:40 Wrap Up And Journal Offer 📕 Mentioned in the episode… Do you ever feel like your not really living your life? --> Like maybe you look around and this life thing doesn't look like what you want or hoped. --> Or perhaps you have tons of brilliant ideas but struggle to find time, energy, and even confidence to put them out into the world. --> It's like you know you were meant for so much more than the day to day grind of work and life. If this resonates I have something for you at a deep discount - literally at cost. I am working on the second edition of my healing journal experience - The Self-Loved Woman Way: How to Stop Playing Small with ADHD. To get it out into the world, I need to sell the remaining first editions I have - all 26 of them. For only $47, literally the cost for me to print the journal and purchasing the items in it, you get the full First Edition of The Self-Loved Woman Way: How to Stop Playing Small with ADHD. This is $42 off from the current retail price (as I start selling to boutiques and book sellers). ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support! 💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/ DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice. We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy. If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area. If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.
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    30 mins
  • You've Been Using Anxiety to Function

    You've Been Using Anxiety to Function
    May 27 2026

    This is a short podcast episode part of the series Rewire the Worry that crosses both my podcast and YouTube channel. If you missed the first in the series Wired to Worry, catch it here.

    You've probably been told your anxiety is the problem. That if you could just calm it down, manage it better, think more positively — everything would fall into place.

    But what if your anxiety isn't something that happened to you? What if it's something you've been using?

    For women with ADHD, the nervous system learns early. It finds what works — what creates enough activation to get things done, stay focused, avoid the criticism, keep all the plates spinning. And for a lot of us, anxiety became that thing. Not because something is wrong with us. Because our brains are wired differently, and anxiety was often the most reliable fuel we could find.

    The problem is, a nervous system running on chronic stress doesn't stay quiet forever. And the cost — to your body, your relationships, your joy — has a way of showing up whether you're ready to look at it or not.

    In this episode we're going one layer deeper than the anxiety-ADHD connection you've probably already heard about. We're looking at the pattern underneath. The one that's been running so long it just feels like you.

    Some of what surfaces in this episode might surprise you. Some of it might sting a little. And some of it might be the most seen you've felt in a long time.

    The question worth sitting with before you press play — what would actually happen if the motor stopped?

    In this episode:

    • Why anxiety is a brilliant short-term solution for the ADHD brain
    • The ways it shows up that don't look like anxiety at all
    • What chronic nervous system activation quietly costs you
    • Why seeing the pattern clearly is the first step to changing it

    —CHAPTERS—

    00:00 Anxiety As The Motor

    01:15 Going Deeper With ADHD

    01:44 How The Motor Shows Up

    03:50 Masking And Over-functioning

    04:57 Why Anxiety Works Short Term

    05:26 The Toll On Body And Joy

    07:10 Missing Life In The Hustle

    08:04 Invitation To Rewire Worry

    08:43 Reflect Without Shame

    09:13 Closing And Next Episode

    ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!

    💛 Connect with me on social media!

    Youtube: @Jenbarnes

    LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/

    DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice. We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.

    If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area. If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.
    Show More Show Less
    9 mins
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