In this episode of the Spaghetti Wall Podcast, licensed clinical social worker Jason Wilcox and licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Thaen Saelee tackle one of the most misunderstood topics in relationships: what abuse actually is. Many people recognize physical violence but don't realize that yelling, name-calling, swearing, manipulation, and coercive control are also forms of abuse.

Jason and Thaen explore the important distinction between abusive behavior and being an abuser, how control can hide behind the appearance of care, and why your body often signals danger before your mind does. They also unpack the cycle of abuse, the role of negative core beliefs in keeping people stuck, and why "I stayed because I loved them" is ultimately a choice worth examining.

Most importantly, they offer practical tools: how to name abusive behavior, set boundaries, and reach out for help. If you've ever wondered whether what you're experiencing "counts," this conversation offers clarity and compassion.

If you are in an abusive or domestic violence situation, please reach out to a professional or a domestic violence hotline. Learn more at avidcounseling.org.

Most couples don’t fall out of love—they fall into routine.

In this episode of the Spaghetti Wall Podcast, we break down why dating your partner isn’t optional—it’s essential. Over time, life gets busy, routines take over, and connection quietly fades into the background. But relationships don’t thrive on autopilot.

We talk about:

• Why your brain pushes you into relationship ruts
• What “dating your partner” actually looks like long-term
• How to balance preferences without resentment
• Why quality time matters more than just time together
• What it means if you don’t want to spend time with your partner

Whether you're feeling disconnected or just want to strengthen what you already have, this episode will challenge you to rethink how you show up in your relationship.

Because connection isn’t something you keep…

It’s something you build.

In this episode of the Spaghetti Wall Podcast, Jason Wilcox, LCSW, and Dr. Thaen Saelee break down a growing relationship dynamic often called “man keeping”—but the truth is, it goes both ways.

At its core, this issue isn’t about gender—it’s about emotional dependency.

When does supporting your partner cross the line into carrying them?

Why do so many people rely entirely on their partner for emotional stability, connection, or even problem-solving?

And how does that slowly erode attraction, balance, and respect in a relationship?

We explore:

• The difference between healthy support vs. unhealthy dependency
• Why emotional burnout leads to resentment (and even loss of attraction)
• The dangerous belief that your partner is responsible for your emotions
• How loneliness and lack of outside connection fuels relationship strain
• The role of boundaries—and why “no” is sometimes the healthiest answer
• When it’s time to seek help outside the relationship

If you’ve ever felt drained, overwhelmed, or like you’re carrying too much in your relationship—or if you worry you might be leaning too heavily on your partner—this episode will give you clarity and practical direction.