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The Spaghetti Wall

The Spaghetti Wall

Written by: Avid Counseling Services
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Welcome to The Spaghetti Wall—the show where we throw big ideas at the wall of life and see what sticks. Hosted by Jason Wilcox, LCSW and Dr. Thaen Saelee. We’re here to talk about mental health, happiness, and what it really means to live well in a world that often feels like it’s spinning out of control. Whether you’re surviving, thriving, or somewhere in between, this podcast is your weekly dose of honest conversations, real tools, and surprising truths. No fluff, no filters—just relatable stories, practical insight, and maybe a little humor along the way. So if you’ve ever asked yourself “Am I okay?”, “Why does life feel so heavy sometimes?”, or “How do I find joy again?”—you’re in the right place. Together, we’re going to explore the messy, beautiful, frustrating, funny, and deeply human parts of this journey. Because here at The Spaghetti Wall, the mess is the method.Copyright 2026 Avid Counseling Services Hygiene & Healthy Living Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Self-Help Success
Episodes
  • Self-Abandonment in Relationships: Are You Losing Yourself to Keep the Peace?

    Self-Abandonment in Relationships: Are You Losing Yourself to Keep the Peace?
    Jul 13 2026

    Are you muting yourself to keep your partner happy? In this episode of The Spaghetti Wall Podcast, Jason Wilcox, LCSW, and Dr. Thaen Saelee, licensed clinical psychologist, unpack self-abandonment—what it is, how to recognize it, and why it slowly erodes your self-worth and your relationship.

    We cover:

    • The difference between self-abandonment, healthy compromise, and simply "showing up" for a situation
    • Why people-pleasing, fawning, and masking are often fear responses—not kindness
    • The warning signs: resentment, depression, feeling like a "supporting actor" in your own life
    • How to be assertive without being aggressive (and what to do when a partner steamrolls you)
    • A simple "best friend test" and "magic wand" question to check whether you've abandoned yourself
    • How grief work and value-directed action can help you find your way back to yourself

    Whether it's a romantic partner, a parent, a boss, or a customer at work—this applies to any relationship where you feel you can't be fully you.

    Find us on all major social platforms @SpaghettiWall, and learn more at avidcounseling.org. Couples counseling videos available now—and our app is coming soon!
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    24 mins
  • Empathy vs. Sympathy: Why "Fixing It" Is Disconnecting Your Relationship

    Empathy vs. Sympathy: Why "Fixing It" Is Disconnecting Your Relationship
    Jun 7 2026

    Empathy is the glue of connection — but most of us are accidentally offering something else entirely. In this episode, Jason Wilcox, LCSW, and Dr. Thaen Saelee, licensed clinical psychologist, break down the real difference between empathy, sympathy, and compassion, and why well-meaning "fix-it" responses often leave our partners feeling unseen and invalidated.

    They cover the hidden barriers that block empathy (including negative core beliefs and societal conditioning), the practical skills that build it — curiosity and complex reflections — and why "I'm just too empathic" usually means you've crossed the line into enabling. Plus: empathy with accountability, how to ask for what you need when you're the one hurting, and the power of simply sitting with someone in the dark.

    If you've ever felt disconnected from your partner, or been told "you just don't get it," this episode is for you.

    Find our couples course at avidcounseling.org, and reach out with topics you'd like us to cover.
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    27 mins
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