Just hours after Lammy’s bold declaration, Downing Street stepped in to clarify, or perhaps obfuscate, stating that Israel was “at clear risk of breaching” international humanitarian law. Yes, that’s right! They’re not saying Israel has breached the law; they’re saying it could potentially trip over its shoelaces and fall into a legal abyss. As one spokesperson cleverly put it, “the government is not a court,” so clearly, we leave it to the professionals – like the judges who are probably too busy trying to decipher their own legal briefs!

In a move that could only be described as 'creative accounting', the government has decided that you now need at least four points in one daily living activity to qualify for PIP. Yes, you heard it right! Four points! Because who doesn't want to play a game of 'how disabled am I?' while juggling the existential dread of losing financial support?

In a stunning move, Kendall announced that from November 2026, only those scoring a minimum of four points will qualify for Personal Independence Payments (PIP). Yes, folks, the bar has been raised higher than your Aunt Mildred’s fruitcake on Christmas Day!

Now, let’s start with the government’s favourite mantra: there’s a “moral and economic case” for overhauling the benefits system. A bit like saying “I love you” while simultaneously kicking you in the shins, isn’t it? Liz Kendall, our Work and Pensions Secretary, insists they want to “support those who can work” while simultaneously sharpening the axe for Personal Independence Payments—because nothing says support quite like slashing benefits for the most vulnerable.