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The Work Behind the Vows

The Work Behind the Vows

Written by: Words & Julanda Taylor
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We're just two whole people who are on a journey of healing.

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@MsJulandaTaylor on Instagram and TikTok

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Parenting Relationships Self-Help Social Sciences Success
Episodes
  • From Screens to Stillness: Restoring Connection Offline
    Apr 27 2026

    Disconnection doesn’t always look like conflict.

    Sometimes it looks like silence.

    Like proximity without presence.

    Like two people sitting right next to each other…both mentally somewhere else.

    That’s where this conversation lives.

    In this episode, Words and Julanda wrap up the series by focusing on what it actually takes to move from constant digital engagement to real, intentional connection. Their secret is not just avoiding the phone, but replacing it with something that actually pulls you closer.

    The truth is that phones don’t just distract from your marriage. In fact, if you’re not careful, those devices can compete with

    Conversations.

    Attention.

    Intimacy.

    And with the everyday moments that quietly build (or break) your connection.

    And if nothing interrupts that pattern, it becomes normal.

    Words and Julanda explore what this shift looks like in real life:

    Being in the same bed, both scrolling.

    Going out on date night, but still checking notifications.

    Trying to have a conversation while one person is half-listening.

    These disconnections aren’t necessarily because there’s a lack of love.

    But they definitely indicate a lack of presence.

    And over time, that distance starts to erode the connection between spouses.

    They explore:

    • How constant phone use creates subtle but consistent disconnection
    • The emotional impact of not feeling heard, seen, or fully engaged
    • How different digital habits and algorithms can create tension inside a marriage
    • Why being “around each other” isn’t the same as actually connecting
    • The quiet resentment that can build when attention feels divided


    The conversation then shifts from awareness to action.

    Because once you recognize the disconnect, the question becomes:

    What do you replace it with?

    They break down the intentional choices they’ve made to reconnect consistently in real life, even if it’s not picture perfect in the moment.

    Things like:

    • Creating tech-free spaces and routines inside the home
    • Putting phones down during conversations as a sign of respect
    • Establishing family rhythms that make screens less relevant
    • Being intentional about date nights, shared activities, and daily interaction
    • Choosing presence even in silence


    When connection is strong, the phone naturally loses its grip.

    But when connection is weak, the phone fills the gap.

    And one of the biggest takeaways from this episode is simple, but powerful:

    You don’t fix disconnection by removing the phone.

    You fix it by making connection more valuable than the phone.

    They also get into the real tension of modern life, including how hard it actually is to unplug, the fear of missing out, and the ways social media can start to feel like a substitute for real connection if you’re not careful.

    And still, the conclusion stays the same:

    You don’t need more access.

    You need more intention.

    They close with a challenge—not to go extreme, but to start small.

    To create one moment this week where connection is the priority.

    Where the phone isn’t the default

    And presence is chosen on purpose.

    At the end of the day, your marriage won’t be built on what you consumed.

    It will be built on what you shared.

    That’s the work behind the vows.

    Stay Connected on Socials

    The Work Behind The Vows: https://www.instagram.com/theworkbehindthevowspodcast/

    Words: https://www.instagram.com/wordstaylor/

    @WordsTaylor on Instagram and TikTok

    Julanda: https://www.instagram.com/msjulandataylor/

    @MsJulandaTaylor on Instagram and TikTok

    Subscribe to our YouTube channel, Healing is a Lifestyle, for the latest episodes and visuals!

    https://www.youtube.com/@healingisalyfestyle

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    55 mins
  • Social Media, Privacy & Boundaries: Drawing Lines in the Digital Ages
    Apr 20 2026

    Every couple talks about trust and why it’s a non-negotiable.

    But not every couple talks about what actually protects that trust.

    That’s exactly where this conversation picks up.

    In this episode, Words and Julanda dig into one word that can either strengthen a marriage or slowly break it down:

    Boundaries.

    This episode kicks off with real-life moments that most couples recognize but don’t always address:

    Who has access to what?

    What’s okay to share and what crosses a line?

    When does something go from harmless to questionable?

    From early relationship dynamics with exes and passwords to how those boundaries evolved in marriage, they walk through how trust isn’t automatic, but how it’s built, tested, and reinforced through consistent decisions.

    And then the conversation goes deeper.

    Words and Julanda break down the difference between privacy and secrecy in a way that’s undeniably simple:

    Privacy is when nothing is being hidden.

    Secrecy is when something needs to be.

    Privacy looks like:

    Taking space to process or

    Needing room to recharge without interference.

    But secrecy is different.

    Secrecy shows up when there’s something you feel the need to hide.

    A late-night call.

    A DM that feels a little too personal.

    A conversation you wouldn’t bring up unless you were asked.

    And that’s where things start to shift.

    Most breakdowns don’t start with something obvious.

    They start small.

    A late-night conversation that “means nothing.”

    A DM that feels harmless.

    A moment where you feel seen in a way you haven’t felt at home.

    Individually, it might not seem like much,

    But over time, those moments create space.

    And if there’s already distance in the marriage?

    That’s where a dangerous door opens.

    They walk through how emotional gaps, unmet needs, and unresolved tension can make outside attention feel appealing, even if that was never the intention.

    Not because someone set out to cross a line.

    But because they never defined where the line was in the first place.

    Words and Julanda shift into what healthy boundaries actually look like and how they evolve.

    The couple closes with a subtle, but powerful reminder:

    Boundaries don’t push love away.

    They give it room to breathe.

    That’s the work behind the vows.

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    📲 Follow Words & Julanda on socials

    The Work Behind The Vows: https://www.instagram.com/theworkbehindthevowspodcast/

    Words: https://www.instagram.com/wordstaylor/

    @WordsTaylor on Instagram and TikTok

    Julanda: https://www.instagram.com/msjulandataylor/

    @MsJulandaTaylor on Instagram and TikTok

    Subscribe to our YouTube channel, Healing is a Lifestyle, for the latest episodes and visuals! https://www.youtube.com/@healingisalyfestyle

    Show More Show Less
    1 hr and 12 mins
  • Healing Your Marriage While Everyone Watches | Should Couples Share Everything Online?
    Apr 13 2026

    Being married online comes with a question nobody really prepares you for:

    What do you share… and what do you keep for yourselves?

    In this episode, Words and Julanda give real life instead of a perfect formula.

    They start with the everyday tension most couples feel, but don’t always talk about:

    One person wants to post the moment.

    The other is wondering why it’s even being recorded.

    From unapproved screenshots to “this should’ve stayed in the camera roll,” they unpack how even small decisions around posting can impact trust, comfort, and connection.

    Then the conversation shifts into something deeper.

    They walk through a real “intense fellowship” that started with ants at a campsite and quickly turned into frustration, miscommunication, and two completely different perspectives trying to coexist in the same moment.

    And that’s where the real lesson shows up:

    In the middle of that tension, there was zero space for social media.

    Not because they didn’t have something to say…

    But because it wasn’t time…yet.

    They break down why posting in the middle of conflict can:

    • Invite outside opinions before resolution happens
    • Validate emotions that haven’t been processed yet
    • Make reconciliation harder instead of easier


    And most importantly, how easy it is to say something publicly that creates a deeper wound privately.

    But they don’t stop there.

    They also talk about what happens after the moment is healed.

    How those same experiences can become teaching moments.

    How growth can be shared without exposing the raw version of it.

    And how timing matters just as much as honesty.

    The conversation also challenges a common assumption:

    Posting doesn’t prove love.

    It can…

    But it doesn’t have to.

    Because love that only lives online starts to create unnecessary pressure, especially if what’s posted doesn’t match what’s happening at home.

    They explore:

    • Why authenticity removes pressure, but performance creates it
    • How posting can invite accountability or false intimacy
    • The difference between documenting your life and trying to prove it


    And they land on something that feels simple, but isn’t always easy to practice:

    You don’t have to share everything to have something real.

    Some of the strongest parts of a marriage will never be posted.

    Not because they’re being hidden…

    But because they’re being protected.

    Bottom line:

    Not every moment is meant for content.

    Some are meant for growth, healing, and connection off camera.

    That’s the work behind the vows.

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    59 mins
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