Episodes

  • Episode 8: Lauren and Daisy Carried This Episode (feat. Lauren, Daisy, Unconscious Ryan)
    Apr 2 2023

    We completely forgot to introduce ourselves even after Daisy reminded us. We should let our special guests actually talk more because they had a lot of good input in the rare moments they weren't getting talked over. This episode also ends and starts with the same exact topic, so we're kind of like the Pink Floyd of podcasts. Join us as we discuss regretful horndogging, losing sexual attraction, and conspiracy theories.

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    1 hr and 7 mins
  • Episode 7: Sober Sunday
    Feb 19 2023

    Clay went to work this morning after getting demolished hours earlier, like a true red-blooded American should. Alex was pulling thicky dab pen rips throughout the episode, but this is as sober as we'll get. Settle in as our two and a half crackers recount funny drunk stories and tales from our days working at the movie theater together.

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    1 hr and 18 mins
  • Episode 6: Josh the Quad God's Big Birthday Bash (feat. Daisy, Ryan, Lauren, Xan)
    Feb 6 2023

    If you look up "out of pocket" in the dictionary, it would link you to this episode. That's not how dictionaries work, but none of us would know that. Experience our journey tonight as we talk about ambidextrous chicken choking, risky sexscapades, and other FREAKY endeavors.

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    1 hr and 5 mins
  • Episode 5: Thanksgiving Special
    Nov 27 2022

    We talked about Thanksgiving for a solid couple of minutes before launching into ADHD tangents. For the second time in podcast history, we have all the hosts here and not blacked out. Join us as we discuss how we would react to catching our partner cheating, what life experience changed us the most, and what addictions are normalized nowadays.

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    1 hr and 12 mins
  • Episode 4: Clay Bae's Big Birthday Bash (feat. Octavius Demarcus III)
    Nov 13 2022

    The birthday boy, Clay, was sentient for a solid three minutes in this episode and Alex is out of town. Fortunately, special guest Octavius Demarcus III was here to save the day. In this episode, we discuss tattoos, smoking, and the effects of excessive video gaming.

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    1 hr and 12 mins
  • Episode 3: One and a Half Crackers?
    Oct 2 2022

    Two of our hosts blacked out shortly before recording, so this episode is just one and a half crackers. In this episode, Ian and Alex discuss being too comfortable and not growing as a person, jealousy in relationships, how values have changed over time, and gender roles.

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    1 hr and 2 mins
  • Episode 2: Debut of the Half Cracker, Machete (feat. Daisy)
    Sep 18 2022

    Our half cracker, Machete AKA Alex AKA Daddy joins us as well as special guest Daisy. We discuss the effects of pornography, the longevity of polygamous relationships, and the red/green flags in a relationship

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    59 mins
  • Episode 1: Where is Our Half Cracker?
    Sep 10 2022

    It's our first episode and one of our hosts is not even in the FUCKING COUNTRY

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    1 hr and 1 min