To Be the Best

I’ve always wanted to be the best

a childhood dream

an admirable quest

a deep desire

for success

In sports

In school

In family

In life

As an athlete

a student

a husband, a father

a brother, a friend

and a God-fearing man

A dream I’ve chased

a desire misplaced

it seems in this race

I’m always outpaced

I’ve always wanted to be the best

a wish more than a dream

a never-ending quest

a deep ache—

never reaching my standard of success

Intense insecurity

performance anxiety

comparison

defensiveness

The side effects of the substance

I thought would solve

my scarce sense of self-worth

High off praise, a basket made

drunk off admiration, a job well done

buzzed by applause, a sermon well preached

intoxicated by achievement, a birdie on eighteen

Then comes the crash

Needing more likes (refresh notifications)

more affirmation (check the comment section)

obsessed with the score—I always want more

only to be attained by another accomplishment

Only for a moment

until the cycle starts again

a never-ending loop

unless I make the acknowledgment:

If I want to be the best

I will never rest

I will always come up short

in one way or another

I will feel ashamed and inadequate

I will envy others

But there is another way

a better goal to strive toward

that sounds insane

but truly wins the game

It’s what every coach said not to do:

“Give up.”

Stop trying to be the best. You don’t need to be.

You’re already loved.

You already belong.

You’re already a child of God.

And you didn’t achieve that—

you received it as a gift.

Be excellent.

Give your best effort.

Work, love, and play with your whole heart.

But do it from love, not for it.

And give God all the glory.

Don’t try to be the best.

Instead, rest.

You’d be surprised how He makes you

the best that you can be.

I dare you to try it.

Put it to the test.