Fortunately, anyone can also do podcasts (trust us, it's just talking). Grow your hair and try not to say anything too embarrassing while we ask: Can we just do a Brian De Palma podcast instead? Will there be blood? How much boomer trash can Matt name before Brett puts his foot down? For fans of: the exhilarating tension between being and becoming, agreeing to shut up but refusing to play the hits, finishing practice so you can play with pedals in your room.

Are we all men? For good or ill, the answer is Yes. Twitch uncomfortably around the stage while we ask: Where's the one? Where's the Eno? Is Devo's message about the dehumanizing effects of technology still even relevant nowadays? For fans of: bit commitment, cartoon theme songs, the other Mothersbaugh.

No, no, Mr. Bungle was my father's name. Call me Alvin. Steadily reduce your slap bass usage while we ask: Can you have it all? (You can't.) Is everything ruined? (Oh, you bet.) Did we like it? (About 70% of it, yeah!) For fans of: Mike Patton and whoever is around at the time, making people listen to Dillinger Escape Plan, videos that changed everything.

Remember, Upper Nile Rodgers refers to Nile Rodgers BELOW the waist. Put on something shiny while we ask: What am I supposed to do during this ballad? Have you heard about when we tried to go to a nightclub but instead went home? How many dances can Matt name before Brett restores order? For fans of: disco deconstruction night, close reading, taxonomy as meditation rather than organization.

Garth Brooks is a mask Chris Gaines wears. Hide behind your bangs (in the rafters, on WCW Monday Nitro) while we ask: Was Tony the talent? Would the Nashville establishment allow you to be this sad without also being drunk? Did there need to be this much behind the artist? For fans of: b-sides with backstories, Billy Joel's comments, Babyface without Babyface.

Santana, both band and not. Face your colleagues and ask difficult questions like: How good can you really be at conga drum in relative terms? Which one of these got Michelle Branch on it? ¿Cuántos años tienes? For fans of: guitarists talk guitarists' guitarist, making it real or forgetting about it, trivia questions where you are the answer.

The poems are great but I bet the bathroom's gross. Neglect to mention Blue Oyster Cult and ask: You flew to Paris for this? Does Matt suck at horse guessing? Couldn't get a Dead Boy? For fans of: gallery shows in rough neighborhoods, making Jesse Helms uncomfortable, art reasons.

Where the discussion inevitably turns to what was on the radio in 1995. Put a wet rag over your mouth as we ask: Can we pick an adultery policy and stick to it? Does Loretta know that people of below average intelligence have feelings? How many songs are requried for this to not be a single? For fans of: fidelity, infidelity, low fidelity.