Flying tuna salad, courtesy of the foster dog. We interrupt this football game. A small household task. Want to give away those old drugs?

Marci's Christmas Season job has left her ill...or maybe it was the cookies. That's enough peppermint bark. The Kosher Trader Joe's Facebook Page Christmas fracas. What you (don't) get for Valentines Day. When you have a lot of extra booze.

No peace, no quiet, no recording. Neither Marci nor Turi is especially nice at Christmas, except when working the Polar Express. Turi speaks ill of the dead. Celebrity sightings, boobs and all. Sympathy for the chronically late.

Marci's dog is sexist. Turi's foster dog is oversexed. Someone who has a body part should be able to identify that part. A chatbot could do a better job of convincing you...of anything. Trivial (or lazy?) Amazon deliveries. How pets learn to eat disgusting things.

Pets will change your wardrobe. Training day for puppies. Bathroom rituals you would rather not know about. Subtle grooming hints. Parts of your body that need extra attention these days.

Turi has an anxiety attack watching a children's movie. Marci cannot reassure her. She also has to think of ways to indicate the word "Santa" to parents, and she's running out of polite phrases. And if you live in Arizona, watch out for the people who think they're in Indiana.

The dangers of the cone of shame. When you're the one helping, you get to do it your way. Home repair and a heaping pile of profanity. The podcast apology. The holiday office party...who's going, who's hiding.

The just-neutered Jerry Dingus Garcia slips a collar, and Marci skids out of control. The song of the difficult pet owner: "But I LOOOVE HIM". How to know when your spouse has had enough, part 1.