Episodes

  • EP69 The 2024 Presidential Election
    Aug 9 2025

    The 2024 Presidential Election is long past. This episode of the Turtle War Podcast can't possibly be relevant to the current political environment. That's what some people are saying. Well Turtle Warriors after you here this episode you will know why those people are the biggest idiots ever. Because in this episode we cover the politics, the scandals and the conspiracies that drove one of the most important political events of our lifetime. But we don't stop there! We dive deep into the dark side of politics and human nature and answer questions you did not even know you were asking. It's time to get serious - This is the 2024 Presidential Election Episode!

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    1 hr and 13 mins
  • EP68 Fast Food
    Jul 19 2025

    Welcome to America Bitches! We like our cars fast, our internet faster and baby you better know we like our food the fastest! Health scares, yeah right! A nation plagued with morbid obesity, get out of my face! If you are looking for healthy baby food, jump across the pond and go crazy. If you are looking for a fast episode filled with delicious fast food then you are in the right place Turtle Warriors. It’s our fast food episode!


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    1 hr and 12 mins
  • EP67 April Fools Day 2
    May 23 2025

    Welcome to another exciting episode of the "Turtle War," your favorite podcast! This week, we're thrilled to plunge into the playful chaos of April Fools' Day, bringing you our highly anticipated second installment dedicated to April Fools' Day! Whether you're a prankster at heart or just along for the ride, get ready to discover how April Fools' Day can bring out both the clever strategist and the unsuspecting victim in all of us. So, settle in, and ready to have your minds blown again.

    Its our second April Fools Day Episode!

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    1 hr and 7 mins
  • EP 066 Sweet Skeletons
    Mar 28 2025

    In this bone-chilling episode, we dig up the sugary remains of the iconic 90s phenomenon: Mr. Bones. Unearth the sweet secrets of why these coffin-contained confections stirred up a skeletal frenzy across the world, sparking a craze that continues to haunt candy lovers to this day. Join us as we assemble the pieces of history, savor the nostalgia, and explore the obsession that keeps Mr. Bones marching in our hearts—and tastebuds.

    Its the Mr Bones Episode!

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    59 mins
  • EP065 Hoaxes 02
    Mar 4 2025

    I WANT TO BELIEVE!

    BIG FOOT!!! The Loch Ness Monster! War of the Worlds! How to charge an iPod with an onion! #baldforbieber!!! That’s right faithful listeners, this episode the Turtle War Crew tackles one of the biggest, most dangerous forms of psychological crime in history, Hoaxes! We expose every hoax for what they are so that you can sleep at night. And you will sleep at night because this is no Hoax. This is the Turtle War Podcast! A name you can trust, a source you can believe in.

    Wait a minute that all sounds familiar. Why does this feel like something we did 58 episodes ago? Oh... BECAUSE IT IS! This is our second visit into the world of lies, pranks and mysteries that make up the lifestyle of the fiends and charlatans that keep this world going.

    It's our second Hoaxes Episode!

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    1 hr and 12 mins
  • EP064 Freaky Friday
    Feb 11 2025

    It happened again. You get in a fight with someone, you are both yelling, the lights start flashing and you wake up the next morning in the other person's body. How did this happen? How do you fix it? What is going on? Well Turtle Warriors you are in luck because your boys at the Turtle War Podcast have the answers to all of your questions. This is not the time to panic, its time for our Freaky Friday Episode!

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    1 hr and 12 mins
  • EP063 Mike Tyson
    Jan 2 2025

    The Baddest Man on the Planet! In this knockout episode, we dive into the wild, unpredictable world of Mike Tyson. From ferocious fights to his love of pigeons and surprisingly wholesome wisdom, Iron Mike proves he's more than just a legendary puncher. Come for the ear-biting stories, stay for the surprisingly soft-spoken life lessons.

    "Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face" - It's our Mike Episode!


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    1 hr and 8 mins
  • EP062 - Christmas
    Dec 25 2024

    Its that time of year again, time to celebrate the birth of our lord and the life of our Santa. Get comfortable and pop open the sparkling Cider. Its the happiest time of the year in 2024 on the Turtle War Podcast. Its our Christmas Episode.

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    1 hr and 2 mins