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Hotels. The glamorous perk of flight attendant life… until they’re not. This week, we’re pulling back the curtain on what crew hotel life is really like — the good, the weird, and the absolutely unhinged. From “food beds” vs. “sleeping beds” to conference tables with no actual beds in sight, we’ve seen it all.

We’re also venting (just a little) about holiday passengers, airplane bathroom etiquette, and those deplaning sprinters who think row 37 is somehow first off the aircraft. Plus, in Galley Gossip, a mid-flight wardrobe change turns the aisle into a full-blown fashion runway somewhere over Kentucky. Buckle up. This one’s chaotic in the best way.

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Episode Highlights

[1:03] We talk holiday travel madness — once-a-year flyers, seat confusion, and why row numbers suddenly stop making sense.
[2:42] Drew goes full lecture mode on airplane bathroom etiquette. Tissues. Courtesy. Please.
[5:24] My rant: the deplaning sprinters who think common courtesy no longer exists.
[7:28] The glamour of hotel life — from rundown apartments to La Quinta feeling like luxury.
[9:31] Food bed vs. non-food bed. Office beds. Furniture that makes zero sense.
[11:38] The mysterious conference room hotel suite situation (yes, it happened).
[14:50] Accessible room surprises and asking the front desk for a “bathtub and shower curtain.”
[16:35] Naked hallway stories and why we need data on this immediately.
[17:22] Worst hotel offenses: bad beds, bad pillows, and impossible-to-find outlets.
[19:22] Connecting room paranoia… and Drew apparently opening the door on purpose.
[20:09] When your coworkers fight next door and security gets involved. Hotels: sometimes Jerry Springer, sometimes Marriott.
[23:25] To inspect for bed bugs or live blissfully unaware? We choose peace.
[25:39] Bathtubs vs. showers — and why soaking your feet in a sink may or may not be acceptable.
[28:11] Regional flying throwback: ordering pizza to the hotel before we even land.
[31:00] Galley Gossip: A passenger changes into a floral sundress mid-aisle and asks us if it’s giving Magic Kingdom or Epcot.
[34:32] We wrap it up and invite you to send us your wildest hotel stories.

Thanks for flying with us! If you laughed, cringed, or felt personally attacked by our hotel pet peeves, do us a favor: rate, follow, share, and leave a review. It helps more than you know. See you next time at 35,000

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February has us feeling reflective… and real. With Valentine’s Day just behind us, we’re discussing what it actually looks like to be married, both work as flight attendants, and somehow still like each other. People always ask us, “Do you ever even see each other?” And honestly? Sometimes… no! But we’ve learned how to turn that into our superpower.

In this episode, we talk about intentional time, opposite schedules, missed trains at the airport, and the tiny rituals that keep us grounded when life is anything but. From “just landed” texts to Etch-A-Sketch love notes, we’re sharing how we make it work—without pretending it’s always easy. If you’re navigating challenging travel schedules, long distance dating, or just trying not to let routine take over your seasoned relationship, this one’s for you.

Episode Highlights:

[1:07] Why February has us talking love—and what it’s really like being married flight attendants.

[3:04] Winter flying struggles and the toddler who ran the cabin.

[6:20] The big question: how do we make this schedule actually work?

[8:25] Why absence keeps things intentional (and interesting).

[11:07] Months apart vs. six weeks together—finding the balance.

[16:38] Airport crossovers and five-minute coffee dates that save the day.

[17:24] Our purple door, Etch A Sketch notes, and Trader Joe’s love language.

[19:49] Mandatory texts: good morning, good night, wheels up, wheels down.

[22:06] Turning work trips into adventure (Lisbon chaos included).

[23:42] Galley Gossip: secret Tito’s, law enforcement, and a very messy landing.

Thoughts on this episode? Text us!

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This episode was brought to you by StaffTraveler, the #1 non-rev app! If you travel on standby and are looking to make your journey easy and stress-free, check out StaffTraveler for free in the Apple App Store or Google Play Store.

Download StaffTraveler

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Have a funny, wild, or heartwarming travel story from a flight that you’re dying to share with us? Submit your story at the link below and we could feature your story on an upcoming episode of the show!

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We love people and we love to travel... no, seriously! Want to join us on one of our upcoming group trips? Check out the link below for current trips!

Travel With Us

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We couldn’t do it without you! As independent podcasters, we rely on audience support to keep our show going. Join our community at the link below for exclusive content, early access, behind-the-scenes footage, and more!

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So many people ask us, “How do I become a flight attendant?” and while the technical answer is simple—go to the airline’s website and apply—the real question is *what airline should you be applying to in the first place? In this episode, we take a step back and talk through everything you should seriously think about before you ever hit that apply button.

From airline personality and uniforms to bases, commuting, aircraft types, pay structures, and company culture, we’re breaking down the stuff no one tells you when you’re dreaming about this job. We also share a little winter flying chaos, questionable passenger behavior, and one galley gossip story that truly belongs on the no-fly list. If you’re thinking about becoming a flight attendant—or just love an unfiltered look behind the galley curtain—this one’s for you.

Episode Highlights:

[0:00] Kicking things off with the big question: which airline actually fits you
[1:05] Welcome to Two Guys on a Plane and what really goes on behind the galley curtain
[2:00] Winter flying struggles, crew camaraderie, and why pilots should always offer coffee
[3:10] Banana hammocks, HR violations, and finding humor on bad flying days
[5:53] Why choosing the right airline before applying can save your sanity and seniority
[8:00] Legacy vs low-cost vs regional airlines—and what that really means for your life
[10:14] Bases, commuting, and realizing you don’t actually have to live where you’re based
[11:18] Uniforms, tattoos, sneakers, and how much personality you’re allowed to show at work
[14:03] Company culture, union vs non-union airlines, and why contracts matter
[16:37] Pay beyond the hourly rate: cancellations, training pay, and extra duty money
[17:00] Aircraft types, training intensity, and our favorite planes to actually work
[19:45] Trip length, layovers, route networks, and where you’ll really be flying
[21:00] How the application process works and what you need ready before applying
[23:14] Galley Gossip: a probation-era passenger encounter gone wildly off-script
[26:21] How to submit your own galley gossip and join our Patreon community

Thoughts on this episode? Text us!

✈

This episode was brought to you by StaffTraveler, the #1 non-rev app! If you travel on standby and are looking to make your journey easy and stress-free, check out StaffTraveler for free in the Apple App Store or Google Play Store.

Download StaffTraveler

✈

Have a funny, wild, or heartwarming travel story from a flight that you’re dying to share with us? Submit your story at the link below and we could feature your story on an upcoming episode of the show!

Submit Your 'Galley Gossip' Story

✈

We love people and we love to travel... no, seriously! Want to join us on one of our upcoming group trips? Check out the link below for current trips!

Travel With Us

✈

We couldn’t do it without you! As independent podcasters, we rely on audience support to keep our show going. Join our community at the link below for exclusive content, early access, behind-the-scenes footage, and more!

Join Us on Patreon