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In this powerful episode, Lola Dada-Olley speaks with Neresia Osborne, therapist, mother, advocate and lifetime caregiver. This episode only scratches the surface in unlocking the depth of her personal account of navigating birth trauma, systemic racism, and rediscovery. This episode offers clear insights into how one could possibly recognize their own lane, redefine success on their own terms, and build resilience through authentic self-awareness. Because parts of her journey deal with detailed personal recollections of trauma, discretion is advised.

Key topics:

• The impact of birth trauma and systemic racism on Black women’s health and mental well-being
• Learning to recognize and embrace one’s lane amidst societal expectations
• The role of hope multipliers and community support in healing and reimagining life
• How existentialism illuminates the path to self-awareness and wholeness
• Practical strategies for boundaries, self-care, and creating sacred spaces for Black families
• The importance of visibility and authentic storytelling in dismantling systemic barriers

Timestamps:

00:00 - Introduction: The importance of understanding systemic barriers and personal wholeness
02:20 - Recognizing your lane: From trauma to self-awareness
04:45 - Birth trauma and systemic neglect: A personal account
08:24 - The role of systemic racism in healthcare experiences
11:18 - The physical and emotional aftermath of traumatic birth
16:32 - Connecting systemic issues with cultural stigma and expectations
19:02 - Recognizing the need for self-care and redefinition of success
24:22 - Building a supportive environment through education and community support
27:30 - The influence of hope multipliers and authentic space-making
33:43 - Reintegrating systemic work and personal healing through therapy and advocacy
42:35 - How existentialism helps to see the fullness of oneself
44:12 - Owning your story: The power of visibility and authenticity
50:02 - The long journey: Deconstruction, deprogramming, and sitting in the process
53:09 - Establishing boundaries as a pathway to reimagining thriving
55:19 - The foundation of a trauma-informed therapy and coaching practice
60:49 - The significance of sacred spaces and working from the 'open heart'
66:35 - Legacy, impact, and the importance of nurturing future generations
66:44 - Final lesson: Believe in your worth and own your truth

Resources & Links:

• Neresia Osborne - LinkedIn
• The Open Heart Model (concept overview)

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In this episode of Unapologetically Whole, Lola Dada-Olley shares her personal journey of self-advocacy and wholeness, exploring themes of identity, caregiving, and resilience. Through intimate reflections and powerful storytelling, she encourages listeners to own their stories and advocate for themselves with intention and courage.

Takeaways:

• Your story matters and deserves to be told.
• Self-advocacy is a muscle that grows with use.
• Wholeness is the integration of all parts of your story.
• Perfection is not the goal; wholeness is.
• Guilt can be a barrier to healing.
• Healing begins when you stop negotiating with guilt.
• Self-advocacy starts with small steps like asking for help.
• You are worthy of the life you are building.
• The world needs you whole, not perfect.
• Embrace the journey of self-discovery and growth.

Sound bites:

• Your story matters.
• Self-advocacy is a muscle.
• Wholeness is integration.
• Perfection was never the assignment.
• Guilt is a barrier.
• Healing begins with acceptance.
• Ask for help.
• You are worthy.
• The world needs you whole.
• Embrace your journey.

Chapters:

• Introduction to Unapologetically Whole
• The Journey of Self-Advocacy
• Embracing Wholeness
• Overcoming Guilt and Healing
• Empowerment and Personal Growth

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Summary

In this conversation, Lisa Hurley and Lola Dada-Olley explore the complexities of healing, emphasizing that it is a non-linear journey filled with ups and downs. They discuss the importance of embracing stillness and practicing gratitude as essential components of emotional well-being.

Takeaways

• Healing is definitely not linear.
• Sometimes healing can feel like it's going up and down.
• Periods of stillness are important in the healing process.
• Trusting stillness is crucial to avoid anxiety about the future.
• Introspection plays a vital role in personal growth.
• Expressing gratitude can enhance emotional well-being.
• There is always something to be grateful for, even in tough times.
• Healing requires patience and self-compassion.
• The journey of healing is unique for everyone.
• Embracing the journey can lead to deeper understanding.

Unapologetically Whole is a podcast for people who have spent years giving themselves away—to caregiving, culture, or career—and are finally ready to reclaim their voice. Hosted by attorney, author, TEDx speaker, and lifelong caregiver Lola Dada‑Olley, the show explores identity, healing, neurodiversity, cultural stigma, and the quiet work of rebuilding yourself after burnout.

Lola draws from her lived experience as an attorney, a mother of two autistic children, the older sister of an autistic, intellectually disabled adult, and the former host of Not Your Mama’s Autism. She also serves as Lead ADA Counsel for a global banking institution and appears with her family in the Vox Media documentary Sensory Overload on Hulu.

Each episode blends storytelling, reflection, and honest conversation to help caregivers and other leaders recognize the lane they’re in, redefine success on their own terms, and reimagine what it means to thrive without disappearing.

Learn more about Lola’s work and her upcoming memoir at loladadaolley.com, and join the newsletter to stay connected to the movement.

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Not Your Mama’s Autism had its finale episode in December 2025. Unapologetically Whole is the dawn of a new podcast, guided by the same host, Lola Dada‑Olley, but shaped by a deeper, more expansive mission. After five years of honest conversations about disability, culture, and family, Lola is stepping into a new season, one that honors where she’s been while widening the lens to include every woman who has ever disappeared in service to others.

This trailer marks the bridge between two eras: the close of a beloved community built around autism storytelling, and the beginning of a movement centered on identity, healing, and wholeness. Lola brings with her the same lived experience—attorney, author, TEDx speaker, lifelong caregiver, mother of two autistic children, and older sister to an autistic, intellectually disabled adult, but now she’s inviting listeners into a broader conversation about what it means to reclaim yourself after years of giving yourself away.

Unapologetically Whole explores the quiet, courageous work of rebuilding your sense of self while still showing up for the people you love. Through storytelling, reflection, and deeply human conversations, Lola offers a space for women navigating caregiving, cultural expectations, career reinvention, and the emotional weight of being everything to everyone. It’s a podcast about choosing yourself without abandoning your responsibilities and learning that devotion does not require disappearance.

As this new chapter begins, the heart of Not Your Mama’s Autism lives on, expanded and reimagined. If you’ve ever felt unseen, stretched thin, or unsure where you end and your roles begin, this next season is for you. Welcome to Unapologetically Whole—a home for women ready to reclaim their voice, redefine success, and reimagine what it means to thrive.

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Summary

This conversation explores the complexities of neurodiversity, particularly autism, within the Caribbean context. Lisa Hurley reflects on her personal experiences growing up in a society that lacks awareness and understanding of neurodivergence. She discusses the cultural perceptions of autism, the challenges faced by individuals who do not fit the stereotypical image of autism, and the need for greater visibility and acceptance.

Takeaways

• Cultural perceptions shape the understanding of autism.
• There is a lack of awareness about neurodiversity.
• Expectations of presentation can exclude many individuals.
• Visibility is crucial for acceptance of neurodiversity.
• Challenging stereotypes is necessary for broader understanding.
• Personal experiences highlight systemic issues in society.

Sound Bites

"I've known from childhood that I was different."
"We're not talking about neurodivergence."
"People who look like us are not even considered."

Where to find Lisa Hurley: The Great Exhale

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In this heartfelt episode, Lola Dada-Olley and Tosan Olley reflect on their journey through autism advocacy, sharing insights from their experiences over the past five years. They discuss the universality of autism, the power of storytelling, and the importance of embracing wholeness while breaking generational cycles. The conversation highlights the intersections of race, disability, and neurodivergence, and sets the stage for their transition to a new podcast identity, 'Unapologetically Whole.'

Takeaways

• The podcast has been a platform for sharing our family's journey with autism.
• The universality of autism transcends geography and culture.
• Sharing our story has allowed others to feel seen and understood.
• The richness of humanity is reflected in the diverse stories shared on the podcast.
• Embracing wholeness means acknowledging both joy and pain in our lives.
• Breaking generational cycles is essential for healing and growth.
• The intersection of race and disability shapes unique experiences.
• The transition to 'Unapologetically Whole' signifies a new chapter in advocacy.
• Gratitude for the community that has supported our journey.
• The evolution of our understanding of success and thriving.

Chapters

00:00 Reflecting on a Journey of Autism Advocacy
03:05 The Universality of Autism and Its Impact
06:03 The Power of Sharing Stories
08:56 Embracing Wholeness and Breaking Generational Cycles
11:54 The Intersection of Race, Disability, and Neurodivergence
14:58 Transitioning to Unapologetically Whole
18:00 Gratitude and Looking Forward

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• Transitions are a recurring theme in family life.
• Policy changes can significantly impact caregiving responsibilities.
• Community support is essential during transitions.
• Self-care is crucial for managing stress and responsibilities.
• Laughter can be a powerful tool for coping.
• It's important to give yourself grace during difficult times.
• Time is finite; prioritize what truly matters.
• Creative outlets can help reconnect with oneself.
• Navigating transitions requires flexibility and adaptability.
• Lessons learned from past experiences can guide future decisions.

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• The documentary 'Sensory Overload' focuses on sensory sensitivities in oral care.
• Filmmakers share their personal journeys into storytelling.
• Documentary filmmaking involves preparation but requires adaptability.
• Creating a safe filming environment is crucial for participants.
• Editing is an iterative process that emphasizes emotional resonance.
• Diverse stories can connect through shared experiences of neurodivergence.
• Personal reflections on neurodivergence enrich the storytelling process.
• Knowing when to let go of a project is part of the creative process.
• The film aims to spark positive conversations about neurodivergence.
• Storytelling has the power to make individuals feel seen and heard.

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