There is a version of this story where I don't make it.

Where the door I walked through in March of 2019 is the last one.

That version exists somewhere.

But it's not the one I'm living.

On my timeline, I woke up.

And this is the story of how that happened.

Episode 5 is the one I've been building toward since I first hit record.

Not because it's polished.

Because it's the most true.

This is my awakening story — nothing softened, nothing left out. From a childhood where I felt everything and trusted none of it, through the religion that promised answers and delivered rules, through the darkest moment of my life, and into a deprivation tank in Montrose, Colorado where thirty years of weight finally put itself down.

If you have ever felt too much for the room you were in — this is for you.

If you have ever built your life inside a framework and watched it fail you — this is for you.

If you are somewhere in the early tremors of your own awakening and you aren't sure if you're evolving or unraveling — you found this at exactly the right time.

A note before you press play:

This episode discusses my 2019 suicide attempt openly and without armor. If you or someone you love is struggling, please call or text 988 — anytime, day or night.

You are never alone.

Now let's go.

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988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline — call or text 988, available 24/7

Justin Nordine Tattoos — www.justinnordinetattoos.com

Deprivation tank experience — https://soakwellness.com/

Books referenced: Dolores Cannon | Michael A. Singer — The Untethered Soul | The Four Agreements