In this follow-up to my “emotionally unavailable” episode, I take you with me into therapy—and spoiler alert, there’s a plot twist. I realized I might not actually be attracted to emotionally unavailable people after all. Instead, it’s that things (and people) can look great on paper, but when it comes time for the in-person vibe check… there’s nothing there. In this episode, I unpack what real chemistry feels like for me, how I’ve been learning to trust my instincts, and why butterflies and brain-based attraction still matter. Also featuring: guest interruptions from my emotional support cat.

Why do I feel butterflies around emotionally unavailable people… but nothing when someone kind, open, and ready shows up? In this episode, I unpack a frustrating pattern I’ve noticed in my dating life and ask some big questions—Is this attraction? Or is my nervous system being triggered? I get real about past situationships, attachment styles, nervous system chaos, and the challenge of redefining what “excitement” in a relationship really means. If you’ve ever mistaken anxiety for love, this one’s for you.

In this episode, I talk through something I’ve been sitting with lately: the expectations we build in romantic relationships—especially when you’re a hopeless romantic with a vivid imagination and a whole lot of feelings. From media-driven fairytales to real-life disappointments, I reflect on what it means to crave connection, get ahead of yourself, and still try to stay grounded. It’s messy. It’s honest. It’s very human.