Today’s Tuesday episode is a little different. No guest this week—just a raw, honest conversation about what happens when things don't go according to plan.

I’m opening up about a technical glitch that forced a choice: scramble to maintain the illusion of "perfect," or lean into the messy truth of my reality. As someone in recovery from perfectionism—I’m choosing the latter.

In this solo heart-to-heart, I’m sharing:

• The Perfectionism Trap: Why my need for control often gets in my own way and how I’m learning to notice it before it kicks in.
• The Weight of Perception: Staying grounded in who I know I am, even when others misinterpret my intentions or my work.
• The "Messy Unfolding": A reflection on trusting the process, giving myself grace, and knowing when to just order the pizza.

If you’ve ever felt the exhaustion of trying to ‘fix’ how everyone sees you, this episode is a reminder to give yourself some much-needed grace.

Are You Carrying the Weight of the World?

We often use the term "compassion fatigue" to describe the exhaustion of caring, but counselor Angela Melzer suggests a profound shift in perspective: compassion itself is an infinite resource. What actually drains us—what leaves us hollow and reaching for our phones to numb out—is empathy fatigue.

When we over-identify with another person's suffering, we inadvertently jump off our own "boat" and into the turbulent waters with them. We lose our grounding, our creativity, and eventually, our ability to be truly helpful. This conversation is an invitation to stop rescuing and start responding from a place of steady, embodied presence.

In this episode, we explore the path from burnout back to ourselves:

• The Shift from Empathy to Compassion:
  Understanding why feeling another person’s pain is only a temporary tool, and how to transition back into your own body to offer a lifesaver instead of drowning alongside them.
• Breaking the Cycle of False Refuges:
  A look at how we use grasping, avoidance, and confusion to stay safe in old patterns, and the one confrontational question—"What am I getting out of this?"—that can finally unlock the door to change.
• The Somatic Architecture of Healing:
  How trauma and repeated emotional patterns live in our physical bodies, and how modern tools like Somatic Experiencing and Ketamine-assisted therapy can machete through the neural "vines" of the past to carve a new way forward.

Whether you are a professional healer or the person everyone leans on, this episode offers a gentle reminder: Feeling tired doesn't mean you are in the wrong life. It means your nervous system is asking you to return to your own spine, your own breath, and your own brilliance.

Full show notes at netanyaallyson.com/episodes/24

“The biggest fight I’ve ever fought in my life was with myself.”

When Joe Singer texted his boss at a beer distribution company to admit he was an alcoholic, he expected to lose his livelihood. Instead, he was met with a simple: “Welcome to Step One.” It was a moment of radical transparency that redefined Joe’s relationship with his work and himself.

In this raw and un-sugarcoated conversation, I sit down with Joe to discuss the transition from being a liar by trade to the "truth guy." We explore the exhaustion of playing "social media chess" with his own brain and how he navigated the early days of sobriety while working surrounded by the very thing that nearly broke him.

What’s Inside the Episode:

• The Friction of the Facade: Joe breaks down why "perfecting the lie" is a mental marathon that leaves you drained, and how radical honesty at work—even in a beer distribution center—became his greatest shield.
• The Non-Recovery Partner Dynamic: A vulnerable look at the reality of staying sober when your partner is not in recovery, focusing on the internal shift required to maintain your own sobriety and the boundaries necessary when alcohol remains in the home.
• The "I Thought" vs. "I Stopped" Rule: Joe’s masterclass in relapse prevention, identifying the exact moment we begin to manipulate ourselves and why "staying in motion" is the only way to outpace the darkness.

“Depression loves a stationary object.” Joe reminds us that while our own heads are a "mighty big place to live," the secret is staying in motion. From the quiet focus of his woodshop to the grounding responsibility of a new dog, this episode is about finding the purpose of staying teachable, opening the blinds, and sticking to the recipe.

Full show notes at netanyaallyson.com/episodes/23

What happens when the life you dreamed of finally arrives, but you’re too "broken" to actually live it?

This week, I’m talking with Russ Pollard, a professional musician and DJ who has lived the full arc—from touring the world on a bus to finding a profound, quiet peace in the present. We look past the early days of survival to talk about the practice of presence and what it really takes to live a life of abundance without the weight of the past.

The Heart of the Conversation

• The Repaired Headstock: Russ shares a powerful metaphor from a guitar tech—why a guitar neck is actually stronger at the point where it once broke. It’s a complete reframe on what it means to be "damaged."
• The Three-Foot Circumference: How to stop reacting to the world and start owning the small space around you. We talk about the "power of the pause" and how grace eventually becomes an automatic reflex.
• The Courage to Be Happy: Why so many of us are afraid to be "too successful." Russ and I discuss how to be deeply humble while finally giving yourself permission to receive everything you’ve worked for.

Why You Need to Hear This

This episode is for anyone who has done the "backwards work" of healing and is ready to look at the horizon. It’s a reminder that you don’t have to stay in the wound to stay humble. You have permission to enjoy the life you’ve built — and you are finally strong enough to lead it.

Full show notes at https://www.netanyaallyson.com/episodes/22

Is addiction a genetic defect, or a survival superpower trapped in the wrong century?

In this episode, I sit down with Casey Hyatt, a Master’s level clinician with over 15 years of experience, to look beyond the clinical labels of addiction. We explore a perspective that is both intellectually stimulating and deeply humanizing: the idea that the traits often branded as "disorders" are actually ancient survival mechanisms—evolutionary strengths that have been short-circuited by the modern world.

Key Insights from our Conversation:

• The Biology of the "Hunt": We discuss why the same drive that made our ancestors successful hunters can leave us feeling "hijacked" today. Casey explains how dopamine—originally designed to reward the survival of the tribe—can be short-circuited by modern substances, turning our natural strengths into a cycle of survival.
• The Landscape of Healing: We explore the transition from "recovering from" a tragedy to "recovering to" a life of passion and purpose. This involves navigating the weight of generational trauma and learning the vital difference between loving at someone and truly loving with them through healthy boundaries.
• From Shame to Sovereignty: We examine why the "phenomenon of craving" feels beyond our control and how to replace that shame with self-acceptance. By recognizing that we aren’t "broken," but rather high-capacity individuals navigating a mismatched world, we can finally move from the isolation of addiction to the abundance of a life we love.

This conversation is for anyone who has struggled to reconcile their past with their worth. It is an invitation to put down the weight of shame and understand the profound resilience of the human spirit.

Full show notes at https://www.netanyaallyson.com/episodes/21

"We want what you guys are on!"
That’s what a young couple told today’s guest Haven Thomas while she was dancing sober at a club with her partner. Their secret? No "magic potions"—just recovery, better company, and a reclaimed sense of self.

One of the biggest hurdles to starting recovery is the fear that life is about to become stiff, bitter, and boring. In this episode, Haven and I dismantle that myth. From roller skating at Pride to seeing UK DJs in Milwaukee, we talk about how we traded "gripping" onto a life of peril for a life of genuine, hilarious, and memorable fun.

Main highlights from our conversation:

• The "99% Sober" Trap: Why keeping one foot in and one foot out is the most exhausting way to live, and why "taking it off the table" is the only way to find true clarity.
• The Exit Strategy: The tactical power of giving yourself permission to leave any situation that "sucks"—and why having your own car is a sobriety superpower.
• The 100% Success Rate: A powerful perspective on resiliency—remembering that no matter how many "crazy positions" you’ve been in, you have a perfect record of figuring it out so far.

Haven’s story is proof that you don't have to lose your "fire" to find your peace. You don’t have to be in peril to choose a better path—you just have to be willing to take the old one off the table.

Full show notes at https://www.netanyaallyson.com/episodes/20

"She’s not giving me a hard time; she’s having a hard time."
We often think of leadership and parenting as acts of control. But the greatest tool you have isn’t your ability to "fix" a situation—it’s your ability to stay steady within it.

In this deeply soulful episode, Talmadge Lowe and I sit down to explore the life-changing shift from living in a "bracing" stance—that exhausting, automatic state of being "on guard"—to becoming an anchor for every room you enter. This is more than a conversation about behavior; it is a roadmap for reparenting yourself through the high-stakes act of raising others.

Together, we explore:

• The Superpower of Regulation: How to move from a defensive stance to an open, receptive state that steadies your children, your marriage, and your team.
• Healing the Inner Child: Practical ways to acknowledge the younger, scared parts of yourself so they no longer drive your adult decisions.
• The Future-Self Filter: Why self-love is an action, not a feeling. We discuss making bold decisions today based on the person you are becoming.

This episode is an invitation to choose a more compassionate path toward your own development. It’s a reminder that your worth isn’t tied to perfection: you can make mistakes and still be "good." You can be "grouchy" and still be deeply of service. The work isn't about being flawless; it’s about the bravery of staying present.

Full show notes at https://www.netanyaallyson.com/episodes/19

"Our secrets keep us sick, but our truth sets us free."

There is a specific kind of exhaustion that comes from keeping our own secrets. We think we’re being strong by staying silent, but that 'safety' is what keeps us stuck. Today’s guest, Alan Horsnell, lived behind that wall of silence for over two decades before realizing that raw honesty is the prerequisite for healing. Now 13 years into his recovery, Alan opens up about breaking his own stigma, shedding the fear of being a burden, and leaning into the profound power of being uncomfortable.

In This Episode:

• The Vocabulary of Truth: We explore how gaining the right words for our mental health—like distinguishing between intrusive thoughts and active intent—removes the power of shame and stops the cycle of isolation.
• Dual Diagnosis & The Mountain Metaphor: A deep dive into the "chicken and egg" relationship between addiction and mental health. Alan explains why we eventually have to shed our "safety furs" and walk into the uncomfortable unknown to find real freedom.
• The Vulnerability Muscle: Why healing isn't a "one-and-done" event but a practice. We discuss the act of vibe-checking your support system and how "going first” with your truth gives everyone else permission to do the same.

If you’ve been waiting for permission to be real, to be seen, and to be different—this conversation is for you.

Full show notes at https://www.netanyaallyson.com/episodes/18