AJ and AJ talk about growing up in families where cutting the tension wasn’t optional — it was survival. They unpack what it meant to walk on eggshells in their families of origin and the roles they learned to play to keep the peace.

“A” shares how she became the family tension diffuser, quoting The Simpsons at just the right moment to break the pressure in the room — unknowingly sharpening her talent for voices and impressions in the process.

“J“ reflects on the last time her entire family was together, when a Christmas fondue party spiraled into an all-out brawl. While chaos unfolded downstairs — in a completely non-alcoholic Mormon holiday gathering that ultimately ended with the police being called — she distracted the kids upstairs with The Little Mermaid, using storytelling as a shield against the shouting and physical fight happening below.

In this week’s episode of What’s Your Damage?, AJ and AJ dive into their very different sexual awakening moments — and let’s just say, the vibes were not the same.

“J“ spills about her lifelong devotion to Christian Bale (yes, even factoring in the infamous on-set rant) and how her love story really began with the Newsies. Something about scrappy newsboys in suspenders and fireman-adjacent outfits? Formative. She breaks down her very wholesome, theater-kid-coded awakening — complete with elaborate fantasies about various newsboys.

Meanwhile, “A”s awakening was… significantly less subtle. She recounts watching the wildly explicit Cruel Intentions and having absolutely no buffer between innocence and full-blown sexual tension. Where “J” had musical numbers and yearning glances, “A” had spit filled make outs, dramatic virginity plot lines, and the undeniable power of Sarah Michelle Gellar in peak ’90s villain mode.

Two awakenings. One podcast. Endless damage.

In episode 10 of What’s Your Damage?, AJ and AJ talk about the deep desire to escape into a different family. Growing up in traumatic family systems shaped how both of them turned to art—TV, books, and stories—as a way to survive the painful reality of their home lives.

“A” is 13 weeks pregnant at this point and reflects on her childhood, where the TV was always on. As a kid, she escaped into Full House, fantasizing about Danny Tanner as her father—someone safe and kind, who wouldn’t call her the C word just for wanting to watch Friends.

“J”, meanwhile, time-travels all the way back to 1868, fantasizing about being a member of the March family. (Let’s be honest—she was absolutely a Jo, the ultimate feminist icon.) The March family was shockingly progressive for 1868—which somehow made them feel more evolved than J’s strict Mormon household in the 1980s. She longed for the kind of sisterhood the March girls shared, something she wished she could have had with any of her sisters—though it hurt most that her closest sister was also her abuser.