This episode has me rambling about birthdays of the past and my upcoming birthday, but overall the general theme is May means it’s my birthday.

This episode I talk about a lot of people who have hurt me in my past that I have forgiven. I also talk about how I hope that my listeners can find forgiveness for the people who have hurt them. I talk about how complex forgiving someone can be, and I trauma dump about a couple different times in my life that forgiveness has been hard.

Self doubt got the best of me last week and I wasn’t able to upload either of the two episodes that I recorded. I was recording Thursday night and the podcast came out Friday and I just did not feel good about the episodes that week. I feel a little bit better about my episode today, and I appreciate any listeners who wait for each episode.

Tw for the outro if you’re eating! My brain didn’t filter in time. Anyway, this episode I express gratitude and go off track many times. In the end I attempt to reel it in even mimicking the action for some reason.

It’s complicated, but I do love my family. This episode is a bit intense, and involves a lot of self reflection. As always I end the podcast hoping you find some nugget of wisdom. I also reflect on what I want for the podcast.

Lots of trauma dumping in this episode. I mean that’s what I’m healing from. I’m not sure how many times I give the disclaimer that I don’t think I’m better than anyone else, but I hold that belief dearly. Hopefully there’s a nugget of wisdom in here that can help someone else in their healing. Also even if you’re healing from something that you don’t think is as “severe” as abuse, it still impacted you and you don’t have to dismiss your experiences.

Can you be self aware and delusional at the same time? I test this multiple times throughout the episode. Was me laying out my family dynamics even necessary? Does this episode have a plot? One thing I know is I do have a knack for losing things, and the plot is no exception.

I don’t even want to think about how many times I said preach this episode. This episode starts out a little dark, but I found my footing. Hint: my foot was in my mouth where it pretty much lives. Sometimes I question if I could become a great cult leader. I only ponder occasionally and probably will never follow through.