What does it really mean to know that you matter — and how does that shape the impact you have on your relationships and the world?

In this episode, I explore how reclaiming a sense of worth can be a powerful source of energy, agency, and relational influence — especially when we’re feeling shut down, disconnected, or powerless. Through my own experience, I reflect on how depression often shows up as disconnection from self, others, and the world, and how that disconnection can quietly erode our sense that we matter.

Drawing on an Imago and nervous system informed lens, I share a working theory: people who don’t know they matter often don’t know their impact. When worth is unclear, power can feel distorted, either expressed through collapse and withdrawal, or through attempts to assert dominance. Both are understandable nervous system responses to deep relational injury.

This conversation focuses primarily on dorsal shutdown, the immobilized nervous system state where self-care, connection, and engagement with the world feel out of reach. I reflect on how beginning with the assumption that I mattered, rather than waiting for proof, helped restore energy, curiosity, and capacity for connection in my own life.

I also share how being accurately seen and mirrored within the Imago community became a healing experience, allowing growth to layer on top of safety. As my sense of worth strengthened, I became more able to notice my impact on others and to influence the quality of connection without collapsing or exerting control.

This episode is an invitation to consider how small, intentional shifts in the quality of our connections — first with ourselves, then with those closest to us, and eventually with the wider world — can become a meaningful source of personal and collective change.

In this episode, we explore:

• Depression as disconnection from self, others, and the world
• How not knowing you matter impacts nervous system regulation and energy
• The link between worth, impact, and our relationship to power
• Dorsal shutdown and why lack of energy isn’t a personal failure
• Beginning with worth as a foundation for healing and agency
• “I matter because I am here” as a way of interrupting old narratives
• How accurate mirroring supports relational repair and growth
• Why reclaiming worth restores capacity for connection and contribution
• How small relational shifts can ripple outward into larger systems

This episode is an invitation to slow down, question old narratives of worthlessness, and remember that when we know we matter, we’re better able to stay present, relational, and engaged — and that’s how small connections begin to shape the world.

If you and your partner are ready to co-create the roadmap to the relationship of your dreams, join us for the next in-person "Getting the Love You Want" Weekend Couples Retreat!

For support in how to have deeper connections and better communication in the relationships that matter most in your life, follow the host, Trish Sanders on Instagram , Bluesky or LinkedIn.

What does it really mean to be relational — beyond simply having relationships?

In this episode, I explore what it means to value connection, belonging, and collective safety in a world that often prioritizes hierarchy, control, and individual success. Through an Imago- and nervous-system-informed lens, we look at how relationship itself can be a pathway toward healing — not only in our personal lives, but in our communities and the broader world we share.

This conversation invites a shift from “power over” to “power with,” from certainty to curiosity, and from dysregulation to dialogue. Drawing on polyvagal theory, I reflect on how we are not isolated nervous systems, but interconnected ones — constantly shaping and being shaped by one another. When safety breaks down for one or many, the impact ripples through the whole system.

Rather than focusing on blame or ideology, this episode centers our shared humanity. It asks what becomes possible when we understand violence, polarization, and disconnection not only as moral or political failures, but also as signs of collective nervous system wounding — and when we respond by creating safety, not more threat.

This is an episode about relationship as a foundation for real and lasting change.

In this episode, we explore:

• What it means to be relational, not just relationally skilled
• The shift from hierarchy to mutual, relational connection, as supported by Imago theory
• How polyvagal theory helps us understand interconnected nervous systems
• The idea of a collective nervous system — and what happens when it’s wounded
• Why fear and unsafety fuel disconnection and dehumanization
• How violence can be understood as a nervous system response at scale
• Why peace doesn’t require agreement, but does require safety
• How relational presence and dialogue create conditions for healing

This episode is an invitation to slow down, soften certainty, and remember that every moment of connection — however small — contributes to the world we are shaping together.

If you and your partner are ready to co-create the roadmap to the relationship of your dreams, join us for the next in-person "Getting the Love You Want" Weekend Couples Retreat!

For support in how to have deeper connections and better communication in the relationships that matter most in your life, follow the host, Trish Sanders on Instagram , Bluesky or LinkedIn.

This episode marks a meaningful milestone for the podcast — the first episode of its second year, and the first with my husband, Ben, joining me on the microphone.

For the past year, he has been an essential part of this podcast behind the scenes. In this episode, he steps forward — not because he was pushed, but because the timing felt right.

We reflect on what it has meant to create this podcast over the last year, the different ways we’ve each participated in that process, and how sharing a voice is not the same as sharing readiness. This conversation is about honoring pace, consent, and the often-invisible labor that sustains meaningful work.

This is not a conversation about expertise or advice. It’s about relationship. About what it looks like when two people with different rhythms consciously co-create something that fits who they are — and who they are becoming.

In this episode, we explore:

• What one year of creating this podcast has taught us
• The value of behind-the-scenes support and invisible labor
• Why timing and consent matter in shared projects
• What shifted when it felt right to share the microphone
• How shared voice doesn’t require shared pace
• The intention for this next chapter of the podcast

This episode marks both a reflection and a beginning — a new chapter shaped by trust, choice, and the willingness to step forward together.

If you and your partner are ready to co-create the roadmap to the relationship of your dreams, join us for the next in-person "Getting the Love You Want" Weekend Couples Retreat!

For support in how to have deeper connections and better communication in the relationships that matter most in your life, follow the host, Trish Sanders on Instagram , Bluesky or LinkedIn.

What does it mean to become someone you can trust — especially when living with ADHD and depression?

In this one-year anniversary episode, I reflect on how understanding my nervous system changed my relationship with effort, consistency, and self-belief.

For much of my life, I didn’t trust myself — my energy, my follow-through, or my ability to show up consistently. Living with depression and undiagnosed ADHD, difficulty with motivation and focus was often interpreted as personal failure.

In this episode, I slow things down and reflect on what has shifted over the past year, shaped in large part by creating this podcast and showing up for weekly episodes

I share how learning to befriend my nervous system — rather than trying to override it — became a turning point. Through a polyvagal and neurodivergence-informed lens, I explore how patterns of avoidance, shutdown, and inconsistency were not signs that I was broken, but signals that my system was in protection mode.

This episode is about repair — not only in relationship with others, but in relationship with Self. About what it has meant to build trust slowly, through repeated acts of showing up with compassion rather than force.

In this one-year reflection, I share what has supported my growth, including:

• Befriending my nervous system instead of fighting it
• Learning to rest without earning it
• Taking anchored, sustainable action rather than pushing through
• Acknowledging grief for what was lost and misunderstood
• Making room for celebration — even when growth has been uneven

In this episode, we explore:

• What “becoming someone I can trust” looks like in everyday life
• How ADHD and depression shape our relationship with effort and consistency
• Why willpower is often not the problem
• How honoring true capacity can yield more progress than trying to push through to do what you think you "should" be doing
• How self-attunement and pacing support sustainable change
• What one year of showing up — imperfectly — has taught me about healing

Gentle note for listeners:
This episode includes discussion of depression, ADHD, and nervous system states related to shutdown and overwhelm. Please listen with care and take breaks as needed.

If you and your partner are ready to co-create the roadmap to the relationship of your dreams, join us for the next in-person "Getting the Love You Want" Weekend Couples Retreat!

For support in how to have deeper connections and better communication in the relationships that matter most in your life, follow the host, Trish Sanders on Instagram , Bluesky or LinkedIn.

A personal story of neurodivergence, school struggles, and how effort was misunderstood at 17.

For years, I believed my struggles with focus, energy, and motivation were simply part of my depression — or evidence that I wasn’t trying hard enough. At 17, when I couldn’t read a book for a class assignment, that belief led to an adolescent psychiatric hospitalization and a diagnosis of bipolar disorder.

In this episode, I slow that story way down and look underneath the depression.

I share how undiagnosed ADHD — including challenges with task initiation, sustained attention, abstract sequencing, and delayed reward — was misunderstood as pathology rather than recognized as neurodivergence. Through a nervous system–informed lens, we explore how avoidance and shutdown can be protective responses, not personal failures.

This episode invites a rethinking of depression, effort, and self-blame — and offers a more compassionate, body-based way of understanding ourselves and our symptoms.

In this episode, we explore:

• What it means to look under depression rather than stopping at the diagnosis
• ADHD and executive functioning challenges that often show up as avoidance or shutdown
• How task initiation, sustained attention, abstract sequencing, and delayed reward affect learning
• The emotional cost of having effort misunderstood
• Neurodivergence, misdiagnosis, and the role of the nervous system in protection
• How self-blame can soften when symptoms are understood differently

Gentle note for listeners

This episode includes discussion of adolescent psychiatric hospitalization and psychiatric diagnosis. Please listen with care and reach out for support if anything feels activating.

If you’re in the U.S. and need immediate support, you can call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If you’re outside the U.S., local crisis resources are available in many countries.

If you and your partner are ready to co-create the roadmap to the relationship of your dreams, join us for the next in-person "Getting the Love You Want" Weekend Couples Retreat!

For support in how to have deeper connections and better communication in the relationships that matter most in your life, follow the host, Trish Sanders on Instagram , Bluesky or LinkedIn.

The pressure to reinvent can feel loud in January, but nature tells a different story: winter is for conservation, repair, and preparing the ground for bloom. We explore how to trade the exhausting “on or off” cycle for nervous system flexibility—choosing the speed that actually supports you. Instead of shaming who you’ve been, we honor the resilience that carried you here and build sustainable change from gratitude, pacing, and somatic awareness.

We dive into the polyvagal map—sympathetic activation, dorsal withdrawal, and ventral connection—and how blended states create options. Safely still (ventral plus dorsal) lets us rest without collapsing; flow (ventral plus sympathetic) helps us move with ease. Through a winter solstice ritual of 13 intentions and a community vision board, joy emerges as a guiding theme, alongside images of nature, beaches, and a snail carrying a clock—a playful reminder to slow time and savor presence. ADHD time anxiety, busy seasons, and holiday illness all become real-world prompts to adjust speed and protect energy.

By befriending the nervous system, we learn to notice signals early and shift into steadier rhythms. We offer two practical steps: practice conscious self-compassion to reduce inner attack, and choose learning paths that resonate—somatic work, breath practices, or resources like Anchored by Deb Dana. From there, we invite one meaningful step—toward rest, play, or action—that aligns with your season. You don’t need a new you; you need new conditions that let your real self bloom.

Subscribe for weekly episodes, leave a review, and connect with us on social at trish.sanders.lcsw. If this resonated, share it with someone who might need a kinder pace.

If you and your partner are ready to co-create the roadmap to the relationship of your dreams, join us for the next in-person "Getting the Love You Want" Weekend Couples Retreat!

For support in how to have deeper connections and better communication in the relationships that matter most in your life, follow the host, Trish Sanders on Instagram , Bluesky or LinkedIn.

When the holidays don’t match the picture in your head, the gap can feel like grief. This year brought fevers, cancellations, and a quiet house that amplified old patterns of shutdown. I share what helped me move through the heaviness with care: naming the dorsal state of the nervous system, choosing breathwork over busyness, protecting sleep, and inviting small, real moments of connection with my kids when plans fell apart.

You’ll hear how I traded perfection for presence and found meaning in simple rituals—wrapping gifts to a breathing cadence, building Legos side by side, taking a short nature walk to collect leaves for a flower press. We talk about practicing regulation first so repair can land, and how to navigate loneliness without abandoning yourself. I open up about the tension between holiday “shoulds” and values, why expectations quietly fuel burnout, and how to design family time around energy and capacity rather than tradition for tradition’s sake.

We also explore a family breathwork session that gave us a shared rhythm when words felt like too much, plus a vision board exercise that revealed the life I’m already creating and the calm I want more of next year. If you’re managing depression, navigating overwhelm, or simply craving a slower season, you’ll find practical, nervous system-informed tools you can use today: regulate, relate, then reason; breathe, rest, invite. Press play to reimagine holidays that honor your bandwidth and build genuine connection.

If you and your partner are ready to co-create the roadmap to the relationship of your dreams, join us for the next in-person "Getting the Love You Want" Weekend Couples Retreat!

For support in how to have deeper connections and better communication in the relationships that matter most in your life, follow the host, Trish Sanders on Instagram , Bluesky or LinkedIn.

We explore how two opposing beliefs—“I have to do everything" and "I can't do anything"—grow from different nervous system states and how peace begins by shifting our state toward safety and connection. Using Polyvagal Theory, we offer practical steps to move from survival into grounded presence and how that approach can ripple out to create a more peaceful world.

• mapping sympathetic overdrive and dorsal shutdown to everyday thoughts
• why state drives story and limits choice
• using the nervous system ladder to find ventral safety
• gentle ways to slow down when doing feels safer
• small actions to lift energy when shutdown hits
• building connection with people, pets, nature, and self
• noticing and naming as daily regulation practice
• creating inner peace as a path to meaningful outer change

If today's episode resonated with you, please subscribe so you can be notified when each weekly episode gets released. I encourage you to leave a review and please share this podcast with anyone who you think may be interested or who may get something from what I have shared

If you and your partner are ready to co-create the roadmap to the relationship of your dreams, join us for the next in-person "Getting the Love You Want" Weekend Couples Retreat!

For support in how to have deeper connections and better communication in the relationships that matter most in your life, follow the host, Trish Sanders on Instagram , Bluesky or LinkedIn.