In this conversation, Katherine Spearing discusses her new book, 'A Thousand Tiny Papercuts,' which explores the complexities of spiritual abuse and the journey to reclaim autonomy after leaving high-control religious environments. The discussion delves into the insidious nature of spiritual abuse, the confusion experienced by individuals trying to navigate their faith, and the emotional turmoil that often follows leaving such systems. The conversation also highlights the importance of understanding the BITE model of control and the potential for thriving after leaving these environments, emphasizing the need for healing and self-acceptance.

Have you ever caught yourself in cycles of self-sabotage, then felt like this proved you were fundamentally flawed? For years, many of us were told this was evidence of our “sinful nature.” But what if that explanation isn’t just wrong—what if it’s creating the very problems it claims to solve?

This episode explores religious trauma through Internal Family Systems therapy, revealing how “dying to self” theology creates internal oppression, and offering a revolutionary alternative based on self-compassion rather than self-control.

What you’ll learn:

✓ How religious environments create the “Inner Controller”—an internal slave master

✓ Why “dying to self” doctrine is psychologically harmful, especially for sensitive minds

✓ The neuroscience showing self-compassion works better than self-control for growth

✓ Internal Family Systems alternative: parts with good intentions vs “sinful nature”

✓ Why your “self-sabotage” might actually be self-protection needing updates

✓ How to rebuild spirituality from wholeness rather than brokenness

Perfect for:

• Religious trauma survivors questioning harmful theology

• People deconstructing faith while wanting to maintain spiritual connection

• Anyone taught their emotions, body, or instincts can’t be trusted

• Those struggling with shame-based identity from religious conditioning

• Individuals healing from spiritual abuse or authoritarian religious environments

Key theological reframes:

• Human behavior stems from need-meeting, not cosmic battle between good/evil

• Your core Self already embodies “fruits of the spirit”—they’re not borrowed from outside

• Parts of you labeled “sinful” may actually be authentic aspects needing integration

• Self-compassion isn’t self-indulgence—it’s neurologically necessary for growth

Important notes:

• This episode respects diverse spiritual beliefs while addressing harmful applications

• Focuses on psychological healing, not theological debate

• Includes resources for religious trauma recovery

• Content may be triggering for those with severe religious trauma

If you’re struggling with:

• Depression or anxiety related to religious experiences

• Thoughts of self-harm connected to religious shame

• Severe religious trauma symptoms

Please reach out to mental health professionals trained in religious trauma recovery.

Part of the Befriending Your Inner Critics series: This penultimate episode addresses the Inner Controller—the critic formed in religious environments that taught you to distrust your own heart, mind, and instincts. Recovery involves updating these parts with compassionate truth.

Next steps: Befriend Your Inner Critic Course

Your worth is not contingent on your performance. You are loved exactly as you are.

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Hi, I’m Catherine. I’m grateful to share this time and space with you.

I’m a counselor living on the Emerald Coast of Florida, on the unceded land of the Muscogee. I am a creative, mystic, and neurodiverse adventurer. I love writing, creating, and connecting.

I love helping folx Befriend Your Inner Critic, Become Your Own Best Friend, and reclaim your untamed soul.

Thank you for being here in this sacred space we get to co-create, as we come home to ourselves and enjoy the fruit of that self-belonging. I love hearing from you and walking alongside you on your journey.

My free gift to you: ⁠3 steps to trust yourself⁠.

With a full heart,

Catherine