答應幫忙、約好時間、氣勢滿滿，
結果最後出現的只有空氣，還有學弟的絕望。

從盜版的怪獸對打機，到重修靠學弟代打、國中的江湖傳說，
這一集聊的不只是青春黑歷史，而是那些「當年覺得很帥，現在只想刪除記憶」的故事。

老實說，
不是我們變成熟，
只是以前真的太王八蛋了。

Promises made, plans locked in, confidence at max —
and in the end, the only thing that showed up was empty air… and a junior’s despair.

From bootleg monster battle devices to getting carried through retakes by juniors, plus legendary middle-school chaos, this episode isn’t just about embarrassing youth stories — it’s about those moments that once felt cool but now just make us want to erase our own memories.

Honestly,
it’s not that we became more mature —
we were just huge assholes back then.

從前是「生日就喝爆」，

現在是「拜託不要再倒了」。

從威士忌PTSD、閃酒大成功，到努力維持不吐只為了能順利回家，

這一集聊的不是生日也不是酒量，而是被現實毒打後的人生。

老實說，

不求成為酒場王者，

只求最後司機大哥願意載我回家。

From “it’s my birthday, let’s get wasted,” to “please… don’t pour another one.”

From whisky PTSD and successful drink-dodging, to desperately staying functional just to make it home, this episode isn’t really about birthdays or alcohol tolerance — it’s about a life reshaped by reality’s harsh lessons.

Honestly,
I’m not trying to be the king of the bar anymore,
I just hope the driver is willing to take me home.

從「絲襪跳舞」開始，
一路喝到板車託運、飯店開房、司機拒載。

老實說，
這一集不是在慶生，
是在驗證朋友到底能為你撐到多晚。

From “fishnet dancing” as the opening act, to push on a flatbed cart, emergency hotel rooms, and drivers refusing the ride.

Honestly,
this episode isn’t about celebrating a birthday—
it’s a stress test of how long your friends are willing to stay for you.

把自己的胃當雪克杯來做特調，

無菜單調酒真的貴。

以為只是跟朋友吃跨年飯，

結果差點以為是要被載去賣掉。

老實說，我們的2026年，一開始就注定了接下來的不平凡。

Treating our stomachs like cocktail shakers,
Off-menu cocktails are stupidly expensive.
Thought it was just a New Year’s dinner with friends,
almost felt like we were about to get sold off.

Honestly, our 2026 was doomed from the start
to be anything but ordinary.

2026 新年新希望，
寫得很滿，做到很少。

目標一條一條列，
現實一條一條刪。

老實說，
不是我們不努力，
是人生根本不給進度條。

2026 New Year’s Resolutions

Written with ambition, executed with disappointment.

Goals lined up one by one, reality deletes them one by one.

Honestly, it’s not that we don’t try —
life just doesn’t come with a progress bar.

禮物只是包裝，
真正被交換的，是尷尬、壓力，還有不能說破的人情。

老實說，
這一集不是在過聖誕節，
是在展示主揪的辛酸血淚史。

The gifts are just the wrapping.
What’s really being exchanged are awkwardness, pressure, and all the unspoken social obligations.

Honestly,
this episode isn’t about celebrating Christmas—
it’s a showcase of the host’s blood, sweat, and emotional damage.

酒精一上頭，理智直接下線，
裝 ABC、切語言、只差沒掏護照求生。

老實說，
能安全回家，
真的不是靠酒量，是靠運氣。

Once the alcohol kicks in, logic goes offline.

Switching languages, pretending to be ABC—almost pulling out a passport just to survive.

Honestly, making it home safely, wasn’t about alcohol tolerance, it was pure luck.

從護手霜聊到假粉，
再一路被推進假面騎士的深坑出不來。

老實說，
這一集不是在推薦作品，
而是確認我們到底是長大了，還是真的老了。。

From hand cream to fake fans,
we somehow get pushed straight into the deep pit of Kamen Rider and can’t climb out.

Honestly,
this episode isn’t about recommending shows—
it’s about figuring out whether we’ve grown up, or just grown old.