Anita and Mel have had some crazy things happen in the last little while, so new episodes will be back up in July!

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Eileen Bellew joins Anita and Mel to talk about the sudden death of her husband, John, on January 23, 2005 also known as "Black Sunday," one of the deadliest days in FDNY history. Her husband, FDNY firefighter John Bellew, was one of six firefighters trapped in a Bronx apartment fire. The day became known as "Black Sunday" because three FDNY firefighters died in two separate fires that day.

In the years that followed, Eileen found herself navigating not only grief but also civil and criminal court proceedings, raising four children, and trying to make sense of a tragedy that became front page news of the New York Times. She later wrote the memoir After John Jumped, chronicling the experience and everything that came after.

Eileen speaks candidly about the debilitating anxiety that followed John's death and the feeling that if she could just stay vigilant enough, maybe she could prevent another disaster. As a parent, she struggled with the fear of being caught off guard again, always scanning the horizon for the next terrible thing.

She also shares an observation that many widowed parents will recognize immediately: when her children lost their father, they lost parts of their mother, too. Grief changed her capacity, her energy, and her ability to show up in the ways she once had, adding another layer of loss for the entire family.

For more info about Eileen, her book, and the future film based on John, visit: https://eileenbellew.com/

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Anita found Jess Anderson completely by accident through a comment on Threads, and what followed was one of those instant connections that feels like it was meant to happen.

Jess shares the story of loving her husband through cystic fibrosis, a double lung transplant, and the years of hope, fear, and resilience that came with chronic illness. After his death, life dealt another heartbreaking blow when her brother — also her best friend — died in a plane crash. Soon after, Jess found out she was pregnant.

As heavy as that sounds, this episode is also full of warmth, humor, love, and the unexpected ways joy keeps showing up alongside grief. Jess talks about motherhood after loss, the people who carried her through impossible moments, and the conscious choice she makes to keep choosing life.

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Bott Monument: http://www.bottmonument.com

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