Some people say that I have it all – I disagree. I constantly have to struggle with this love-hate relationship I have with writing. I love reading, that’s for sure. And I love to write….about myself as and when I want to. But when I am required to write about something like….say….how to change the black oil in a car or how to pick the right motherboard for your computer….I have to literally drag myself to the computer and prompt my fingers to move. 

This is the relationship I have with writing. It’s because I make a living out of churning out articles after articles…sometimes completing up to 30 articles a day face to face with a deadly deadline….it is not such a heavenly life after all. 

It’s ironic that I spent a large part of my life looking for the right thing to do. Something that excites me and challenges me. Something that I WANT to do instead of being FORCED TO do. I hate being forced into doing something but this is sometimes called the ‘REAL WORLD’. Even when you love doing something and you start having people telling you HOW to write your articles, or books, it begins to lose its initial appeal. 

And yet, despite turning into a drudgery of kind, I continue to write. Writing is what I do best. Because my husband would turn to me in the dead of night, awakened by some kind of swearing and the tap-tap-tap of my keyboard, he shakes his head and says, “Gosh, you’re still writing? Why?”

I hiss back. “Because I am paid to do this. Because I LOVE this. It’s my job. It’s my life. This is what I am being paid to do, you moron!”

With a chuckle, knowing me, he turns his back on me and goes back to sleep. Smart ass! 

While over the years, many other opportunities came a-knocking on my door and I wondered if I would do better if I did something else. Oh, I would still write but I will write my own stuff. My own novel. My own articles. My own blog. Whatever…my own diary. But no one else will ever get the chance to tell me how to write the things I write – NEVER!!!

And yet, surprisingly, I turn my back on those opportunities because I know I love to write. Like I said. I write for a living and secretly love it. If I started selling insurance or doing real estate, it would be like…so superficial. So temporary. But when I write…I write well and I do it quickly, fast and very efficiently. And I sometimes feel proud of myself…although my fingers and eyes were throbbing like an earthquake waiting to happen. 

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