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You Are Not Broken

You Are Not Broken

Written by: Kelly Casperson MD
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Welcome to the podcast that rewrites everything you thought you knew about sex, hormones, and midlife. I help women—and the people who love them—reconnect with their bodies, their minds, and their partners through science, mindset, and a whole lot of humor. Whether you’re navigating perimenopause, rediscovering desire, or just curious what’s possible, this show will remind you: you are not broken. (No medical advice here, just truth bombs and good conversation.)

© Kelly Casperson, MD Hygiene & Healthy Living Physical Illness & Disease
Episodes
  • 377 - Heated Rivalry Episode 3-Love, Boundaries, and the Most Unhinged Uber Ride Story You've Ever Heard

    377 - Heated Rivalry Episode 3-Love, Boundaries, and the Most Unhinged Uber Ride Story You've Ever Heard
    Jun 28 2026
    You Are Not Broken | Episode 377 Join me, Dr. Rubin and Dr. Winter three episodes deep into "Heated Rivalry" and things are getting complicated. Emotionally. Relationally. And apparently, in real life too — because this episode went completely off-script in the best possible way. Episode 3 of the show gives us more Scott and Kip, more tension, more of the push-pull that makes this story so hard to look away from. And it gave us a lot to say. In this episode, we cover: 🏒 Full episode 3 breakdown — Plot, pacing, pivotal moments, and everything we were yelling at the screen about. We get into the emotional undercurrents the show is building and why this episode marks a turning point in how these characters relate to each other ❤️ Scott Hunter and Kip: love, limits, and the architecture of a complicated relationship — What does it look like when two people want each other and also can't quite figure out how to be with each other? We analyze the push-pull, the boundaries being tested, and what the show is trying to say about intimacy under pressure 🧠 Enneagram detour: typing the characters — Yes, we went there. Kip's dad especially warranted a full personality deep-dive. If you've ever wondered why certain relationship dynamics feel so stuck, the Enneagram conversation in this episode will make things click 🎬 Behind the scenes: budget, craft, and the acting choices that land (or don't) — We talk about what the production is clearly doing well, where the constraints show up on screen, and the moments where the actors did something genuinely impressive with the material they were given 🌟 A real Hollywood love story — One of us brought a personal story to this episode that mirrors some of what the show is exploring in ways that are almost too perfect. Love that finds you in unexpected places, at unexpected times, with unexpected people. 🚗 The porn star Uber ride story — We cannot explain this one. You just have to listen. It is real. It happened. It is relevant (sort of). And it is the most chaotic three minutes of content we have ever produced on this podcast. Why episode 3 matters: The first two episodes establish the attraction. Episode 3 is where the show starts asking harder questions — about what people owe each other, about the difference between wanting someone and being able to actually be with them, and about the family dynamics and personal histories that follow us into every relationship we try to build. That's not just good TV. That's the conversation we have in exam rooms, in therapy offices, and at 2am when we can't sleep. "Heated Rivalry" keeps giving us a way in to material that's genuinely difficult to talk about directly — and we're going to keep using it.Listen to my Tedx Talk: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Why we need adult sex ed⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Take my ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Adult Sex Ed Master Class:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠My Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Interested in my sexual health and hormone clinic? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Waitlist is open⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Thanks to our sponsor: Addyi, the little pink pill. To find out if Addyi is right for you, go to addyi.com/notbroken and use code NOTBROKEN for a $10 telemedicine appointment.And great news: with commercial insurance coverage Addyi is as little as $20 a month! Visit Addyi.com/notbroken.Eligible patients only. Restrictions apply. See Full Prescribing Information including Boxed Warning at addyi.com/pi To learn more about Via vaginal moisturizer from Solv Wellness, visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠via4her.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and get 20% off your first order. For an additional $5 off, use coupon code DRKELLY5. Clinicians can request patient materials or samples at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠hcp.solvwellness.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Thanks to our sponsor ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Midi Women's Health⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Designed by midlife experts, delivered by experienced clinicians, covered by insurance.Midi is the first virtual care clinic made exclusively for women 40+. Evidence-based treatments. Personalized midlife care.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.joinmidi.com⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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    41 mins
  • 376. Heated Rivalry - Episode 2 — Four Urologists Walk Into a Hockey Romance

    376. Heated Rivalry - Episode 2 — Four Urologists Walk Into a Hockey Romance
    Jun 21 2026
    Episode 2 of "Heated Rivalry" gave us more heat, more emotional complexity, and — honestly — more to dissect than we could cover alone. So this time, I'm joined by three of my favorite urologist colleagues: Dr. Rubin, Dr. Winter, and Dr. Gonzalez. Four urologists, one hockey romance, zero filter. This is the kind of conversation that doesn't happen in medical school, at grand rounds, or really anywhere in organized medicine. Which is exactly why we're having it here. In this episode, we cover: 🏒 Safety, trust, and emotional vulnerability in gay relationships — Episode 2 goes deeper into what it actually takes to be intimate when you've spent years hiding who you are. We talk about what the show gets right about the psychological weight of that, and what it looks like clinically when shame is baked into someone's relationship with their own body and desire 📖 "Heated Rivalry" as curated sex education — Fiction is doing what formal sex ed refuses to do: showing people what communication, negotiation, and mutual pleasure actually look like. Four urologists weigh in on what we'd add, what we'd correct, and what we'd assign as required watching 🧠 The psychology of self-acceptance, shame, and queer connection — These characters aren't just physically attracted to each other — they're navigating decades of internalized messaging about who they're allowed to be. We break down what that does to intimacy and how it shows up in real patient conversations 🍑 Anal sex, condom use, and preferences — the actual clinical conversation — What do gay versus heterosexual contexts look like in practice? What does the data say about condom use patterns, and why? What do patients actually need to know that providers almost never tell them? We go there. 👁️ Objectification, authenticity, and the fantasy-versus-reality line in media — Is "Heated Rivalry" showing us something true, or something aspirational? Does it matter? How does idealized media representation shape real people's expectations of their own sex lives and bodies? 🛡️ Consent and communication as clinical skills — Not just ethics — actual skills. What does good sexual communication look like, and how does it translate across orientations? The show models some of this beautifully. We talk about what's transferable. 📱 How media shapes (and misshapes) LGBTQ+ sexual health literacy — The misinformation landscape around queer bodies and sexual health is genuinely harmful. We talk about what gets distorted, what's missing, and how pop culture can either close or widen that gap 🌈 What this show is doing for LGBTQ+ communities — Representation isn't just feel-good. It has measurable effects on shame reduction, help-seeking behavior, and sexual self-concept. We talk about the real-world ripple effects of seeing your experience on screen — done well The conversation you didn't know you needed: Four urologists sitting around breaking down a gay hockey romance sounds like the setup to a joke. But here's what's actually true: most of us received zero clinical training on LGBTQ+ sexual health. Most of our patients — gay, straight, bi, questioning — received zero accurate sex education about anal intimacy, queer relationships, or sexual communication. "Heated Rivalry" is filling a gap that medicine created. We think that's worth talking about seriously, with humor, and without shame.Listen to my Tedx Talk: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Why we need adult sex ed⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Take my ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Adult Sex Ed Master Class:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠My Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Interested in my sexual health and hormone clinic? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Waitlist is open⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Thanks to our sponsor: Addyi, the little pink pill. To find out if Addyi is right for you, go to addyi.com/notbroken and use code NOTBROKEN for a $10 telemedicine appointment.And great news: with commercial insurance coverage Addyi is as little as $20 a month! Visit Addyi.com/notbroken.Eligible patients only. Restrictions apply. See Full Prescribing Information including Boxed Warning at addyi.com/pi To learn more about Via vaginal moisturizer from Solv Wellness, visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠via4her.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and get 20% off your first order. For an additional $5 off, use coupon code DRKELLY5. Clinicians can request patient materials or samples at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠hcp.solvwellness.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Thanks to our sponsor...
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    57 mins
  • 375. Heated Rivalry, Hockey, and How Good Sex Ed Can Change the World

    375. Heated Rivalry, Hockey, and How Good Sex Ed Can Change the World
    Jun 14 2026
    Episode one of Heated Rivalry with the amazing urologists Dr. Winter, Dr. Rubin, Dr. Gonzalez and Dr. Casperson! Episode 375: Heated Rivalry, Hockey, and How Good Sex Ed Actually Looks What happens when a group of urologists and sex medicine experts binge a gay hockey romance and can't stop talking about it? This episode. "Heated Rivalry" isn't just a sports romance — it's one of the most emotionally honest portrayals of gay intimacy, identity, and desire that's made it to mainstream media. And as someone who spends her days helping people understand their bodies, their sexuality, and their relationships? I had a lot of thoughts. So I brought in the experts. In this episode, we're going deep — on the show, on the science, and on everything "Heated Rivalry" gets right that your sex ed class absolutely got wrong. In this episode, we cover: 🏒 Representation that actually lands — What the show gets right about gay sex on screen, why it matters for viewers of all orientations, and how seeing yourself reflected in media shapes your sexual self-concept ❤️ The emotional architecture of coming out in sports culture — Identity, secrecy, fear, and what it costs to hide who you are in hypermasculine environments. This isn't just a hockey story. 🤫 Silent communication and nonverbal intimacy — The show does something remarkable with what's not said. We talk about what that reflects about real-life queer intimacy and how couples communicate desire without words 💪 Body image, physicality, and the male gaze (turned inward) — How the show handles the aestheticization of male bodies, and what that does for viewers who've never seen their own body type centered as desirable 🛡️ Consent, power dynamics, and emotional safety in LGBTQ+ relationships — Because good sex requires more than physical compatibility. We break down what the show models and what it could do better 🚿 The practical stuff: anal hygiene, douching, and lubrication — Yes, we're going there. Because nobody else is explaining this clearly, and shame-free, accurate information saves people from unnecessary anxiety and actual injury 📚 "Heated Rivalry" as accidental sex ed — Why fiction sometimes does what textbooks and providers fail to do: make people feel normal, curious, and empowered rather than broken 💬 Your reactions — What listeners and viewers are saying, and how this show is opening conversations that weren't happening before Why this episode matters: If you think this episode is just for gay men or hockey fans, think again. This is an episode about what good intimacy looks like — the negotiation, the vulnerability, the communication, the logistics. These themes live in every relationship, every body, every bedroom. Also: accurate, shame-free education about anal sex has historically been nearly nonexistent in mainstream medicine and sex ed. The result? People making decisions without good information, experiencing pain that's preventable, and feeling like their desires are somehow abnormal. We're fixing that today. Listen to my Tedx Talk: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Why we need adult sex ed⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Take my ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Adult Sex Ed Master Class:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠My Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Interested in my sexual health and hormone clinic? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Waitlist is open⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Thanks to our sponsor: Addyi, the little pink pill. To find out if Addyi is right for you, go to addyi.com/notbroken and use code NOTBROKEN for a $10 telemedicine appointment.And great news: with commercial insurance coverage Addyi is as little as $20 a month! Visit Addyi.com/notbroken.Eligible patients only. Restrictions apply. See Full Prescribing Information including Boxed Warning at addyi.com/pi To learn more about Via vaginal moisturizer from Solv Wellness, visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠via4her.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and get 20% off your first order. For an additional $5 off, use coupon code DRKELLY5. Clinicians can request patient materials or samples at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠hcp.solvwellness.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Thanks to our sponsor ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Midi Women's Health⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Designed by midlife experts, delivered by experienced clinicians, covered by insurance.Midi is the first virtual care clinic made exclusively for women 40+. Evidence-based treatments. Personalized midlife ...
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    53 mins
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