You’re doing all the right things, so why is nothing changing? cover art

You’re doing all the right things, so why is nothing changing?

You’re doing all the right things, so why is nothing changing?

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You think you're doing all the right things. You started the podcast, launched the business, wrote the emails nobody asked for. But what if you're still only going halfway? In this episode, I share how The Mel Robbins Podcast with Seth Godin made me call myself out. I'm doing the things, but I create something, throw it out there, and run back to safety. It's a deep fear of being truly seen, and it's been running the show. I talk about what it really means to put yourself on the hook, why your body is one of your best signals for where you're playing it safe, and the practice one woman in my accountability group does every week that made me realize I had work to do. Honest, a little uncomfortable, and exactly the conversation women over 40 need to have.

Key Takeaways

1. Doing the Thing Halfway Still Feels Like Doing the Thing, Until You Look Closer Starting a podcast, launching a business, writing emails nobody asked for, these feel brave. And they are. But there's a difference between doing something uncomfortable and truly putting yourself on the hook. If you're creating and then detaching entirely, "it's out there, people can find it," that's not non-attachment. That might just be a sophisticated form of hiding. Ask yourself: where am I stopping right before it gets really real?

2. Your Body Knows Before Your Brain Does That tightness in your chest, the fidgety energy, the sudden constriction when you think about stretching past your comfort zone, that's not a stop sign. That's a signal. Get curious instead of backing away. Ask: what just shifted? What am I afraid of here? The growth lives right past that edge.

3. Putting Yourself on the Hook Builds Self-Trust One woman in my accountability group goes somewhere new every week and starts a conversation with a stranger. She walked into an art gallery and ended up connecting with the head of the Chamber of Commerce, because she did something that scared her, on purpose. Treat discomfort as a growth experiment. Just do it once. See what happens.

Free Resource

Join me for the Monthly Becoming Her Workshop. It's my free monthly live goal-setting session on Substack! 👉 https://www.amcostanzo.com/free-goal-setting-workshop

Links Mentioned

Mel Robbins + Seth Godin Podcast Episode


Connect With Me

Website: amcostanzo.com

Substack: amcostanzo.substack.com

YouTube: amcostanzowellness

Instagram: am_costanzo

Let's Continue the Conversation

Are you putting yourself on the hook, or just going halfway? I'd love to hear where you're playing it safe and what one scary thing you're committing to this week.

If this hit home for you, I'd love it if you'd leave a quick 5-star rating or just drop a ❤️ in the comments. Or hit that follow button so we can keep spreading the word that midlife isn't a crisis — it's a comeback!

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