• Finding My Podcast Niche: A Journey Through Categories
    Jan 25 2026

    We're diving into a significant shift in our podcasting journey. After three months of exploring various topics in a freeform style, I’ve realized that the podcast landscape is a bit more structured than I initially thought. It turns out that categorization is essential for reaching the right audience, which has led me to the decision to transition toward a subject-specific format. I'm excited to focus on the intersection of technology and society, a theme that resonates deeply with me. We’ll still have room for those spontaneous monologues, but now they’ll be framed within a context that makes it easier for listeners to connect with what we’re discussing. So, join me as we explore the fascinating ways technology shapes our lives, even if it means confronting some uncomfortable truths along the way. I’ve been on quite the journey with this podcast over the past few months, and honestly, it’s been a rewarding experience. The freedom of an audio-only platform allows me to express myself without the constraints of algorithms dictating what gets heard. As my listener base grows, I am reminded of the power and importance of genuine connection in this medium. However, there’s also an unavoidable realization dawning on me — comparing my podcasts reveals a stark difference in engagement levels. It seems that a podcast that focuses on a specific theme garners more attention than one that meanders through various topics. This observation leads me to consider a shift towards more specific subject matter, which is a decision I approach with mixed feelings. Transitioning to a subject-focused podcast means narrowing down my content, which feels bittersweet. I’ve always relished the freeform style, giving me the flexibility to explore various thoughts and musings. Yet, I can’t ignore the reality that such a format makes it harder for potential listeners to discover me. The podcasting landscape is rife with categories and tags, and if I don’t fit neatly into one of those, I risk being lost in the shuffle. So, I’ve taken a step back to analyze what themes resonate with me: my personal life and technology. While I’m hesitant to delve too deeply into my personal experiences, I find the intersection of technology and society to be a rich ground for exploration. There’s something fascinating about how technology shapes our lives and influences our choices, and I want to dive into that. For instance, I often ponder why I feel compelled to buy a high-end camera when my life mostly revolves around family snapshots. It’s this disconnect — the marketing of lifestyle versus the reality of our lives — that I find intriguing. By framing my discussions around technology, I hope to share insights while still allowing for the spontaneous and freeform conversations I love. So, as I embark on this new direction, I invite you to join me on this exploration of technology and society, reflecting on how both shape our lives in unexpected ways. I’m looking forward to what’s ahead, and I appreciate you being here with me.

    Takeaways:

    1. I've been enjoying the experience of podcasting without the constraints of algorithms, which is refreshing.
    2. Transitioning to a subject-specific podcast might break my heart, but I believe it's necessary.
    3. It's hard to ignore that certain podcasts get more engagement than others, which is a reality check.
    4. My personal life is interesting, but it's also something I prefer to keep private and separate from this podcast.
    5. I want to explore the philosophical aspects of technology and its impact on society in future episodes.
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    8 mins
  • Coffee, Code and Conversations
    Jan 19 2026

    Intricacies of maintaining creativity during challenging times, tackling the emotional rollercoaster that can hinder our artistic flow. I share my recent struggle with motivation and how, despite having the time, I found myself unable to engage in creative activities. We explore the tension between the expectation to perform, even when feeling less than inspired, and the reality of our human experiences. It's a candid conversation about the unfiltered truth of life, the importance of connecting through shared struggles, and even a breakthrough that came in the form of a listener email that reignited my passion. Together, we reflect on the value of authenticity in our creative pursuits and the surprising joys found in the mundane, like my new coffee machine that signifies more than just a caffeine fix—it's a ritual that grounds me. This week, we jumped into the heart of the podcasting experience, reflecting on both the creative hurdles and the emotional struggles that come with creating content. I shared my personal battles with maintaining a backlog of episodes, especially during a recent emotional rough patch where motivation seemed to vanish. I found myself with a weekend free of obligations but still couldn't muster the energy to dive into my projects, leading to a kind of self-imposed creative pause. But rather than chastising myself, I embraced the downtime as a vital part of the creative process. It was during this quiet period that I received my first listener email, a moment that lit up my week and reminded me of the connections we forge through this medium, even when the creative fire feels dim. We also tackled the subject of authenticity in show business, discussing the expectations to maintain a polished persona while dealing with personal struggles. I opened up about my difficulty in pretending everything is fine when I'm feeling emotionally drained. This led to a rich conversation about the value of vulnerability and how sharing our real, messy selves can deepen our relationship with our audience. I argued that while the industry often pressures creators to project positivity, there’s a unique strength in showing our authentic selves. We ultimately explored the idea that connections based on shared values can be far more impactful than those based solely on fleeting interests. In a lighter turn, I shared my latest passion—a new coffee machine that has become a cherished part of my daily routine. It's more than just a brewing device; it's a ritual that provides comfort and structure amidst life’s unpredictability. I reflected on how these small daily rituals not only ground us but also bring joy and satisfaction, especially during tumultuous times. By the end, I encouraged listeners to reach out, inviting them to share their own stories and experiences, reinforcing that this podcast journey is about building a community where we can all feel seen and heard.

    Takeaways:

    1. This episode dives deep into the emotional struggles that can hinder creativity, reminding us that it's okay to take breaks and not force ourselves to be productive all the time.
    2. We explore the idea that even though the new year is often seen as a fresh start, real change can happen at any time, and we shouldn't restrict ourselves to yearly resolutions.
    3. The speakers discuss the importance of maintaining authenticity in podcasting, emphasizing that it's okay to share personal struggles without turning the podcast into a diary.
    4. Our conversation touches on how technology, like AI, is evolving to make creative processes easier, allowing us to focus on the essence of what we do rather than the mundane tasks.
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    40 mins
  • The Jesters of Our Lives: Unmasking Humor's Dark Side
    Jan 12 2026

    Time seems to drag when we’re stuck in a loop of mindless scrolling, but what if I told you that embracing a structured routine could change that? This episode unpacks the experience of navigating friendships with people who embody the traits of a jester—those who use humor as a shield but may leave us feeling emotionally drained. I share my personal journey with these relationships, exploring how the need for constant laughter can overshadow deeper connections. We reflect on the balance between humor and authenticity, questioning whether jesters truly understand the impact of their words. Join me as I sift through the complexities of these dynamics and contemplate the importance of meaningful friendships in our lives.

    Takeaways:

    1. Time might feel like it drags when we have nothing to do, yet a packed schedule can make it fly by.
    2. Setting up a podcast can create a structure that pushes us to produce more regularly and feel accountable.
    3. Interactions with jesters can be tricky; their humor often masks deeper insecurities and emotional immaturity.
    4. Jesters can dominate social situations, making jokes that silence others and create an uncomfortable atmosphere.
    5. The balance between humor and authenticity is vital in relationships; we need depth beyond laughter.
    6. Reflecting on past friendships with jesters reveals the importance of genuine connection over superficial humor.

    email me at cmonkxxx@gmail.com

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    23 mins
  • Tragic Switzerland Fire, My new Reddit Community Group, Spatial Awareness
    Jan 3 2026

    Waking up to a rare snowfall at 6:00 AM, this installment serves as a "New Year’s audit" of attention. It moves from a personal commitment to keep the "screens from winning" at home to a broader critique of how social media has distorted our survival instincts.

    Key Discussion Points
    1. The Bourdain Experiment: A spontaneous Reddit post about Anthony Bourdain’s values led to the creation of a Berlin-based meetup group focused on real-life interaction rather than digital exchange.
    2. Content vs. Survival: A chilling analysis of the recent Swiss nightclub fire, where victims reportedly prioritized filming and uploading content as the tragedy unfolded.
    3. The "Little Black Rectangle": An observation of the "eerie" and "sick" physical alignment of people in public spaces, completely consumed by their smartphones.
    4. Spatial Awareness Exercise: A personal practice started in December to reclaim attention by consciously observing smells, sounds, and the needs of others on public transport.

    The "Spatial Awareness" Challenge

    To combat the "digital feed," the host proposes a deliberate exercise in being present:

    1. Observe the Environment: Note the lighting, the smells, and the noise levels on your commute.
    2. Identify the Needs of Others: Look for people requiring assistance (the elderly, those with heavy luggage) who are often ignored by a phone-distracted crowd.
    3. Detect Opportunities: Move beyond the "screen leash" to find inspiration or connection in the physical world.

    Links & Community
    1. Meetup: Berlin Social/Bourdain WhatsApp Group (see Reddit https://www.reddit.com/r/berlinsocialclub/comments/1q1xi6d/anthony_bourdain_fans_in_berlin/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button).
    2. Reference: The Swiss NYE fire investigation and the shift toward digital "isolation" over integration.
    3. Connect: Reach out via email at cmonkxxx@gmail.com to share your own stories of reclaiming your attention.

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    19 mins
  • From Southern France to Berlin: The Geometry of a Layover
    Dec 29 2025

    A breakdown of a 24-hour transit through the "liminal spaces" of Agen and Paris to Berlin. I examine the textures of 13th-century furniture, the "naive" honesty found in 12-year-old video archives, and the ergonomics of a 30,000-step day. This is an audit of the "scars of progress" visible in our modern landscape.

    Recording from the transition between two worlds.

    I’ve just completed a 12-hour journey from the quiet, 13th-century streets of Southern France back to the foggy "concrete jungle" of Berlin. This episode is a raw audit of that transit—a 30,000-step trek through Paris that became a meditation on what we’ve lost to progress.

    In this installment:

    1. The 12-Year Time Capsule: While editing footage from a decade ago, I discovered a "pure authenticity" in people who weren't yet tethered to smartphones.
    2. The Digital Fidget: Observations from a turbulent flight where passengers, gripped by anxiety, mindlessly scrolled through dead apps like a digital rosary.
    3. The Food Divide: Why the culinary landscape of Paris makes Berlin feel like "feed for animals."
    4. The Leash: A sobering look at how our devices have transitioned from tools to tethers.

    I also share a candid update on why I’m moving toward a curated paywall to protect the privacy of this journal while continuing to connect with a "tight" audience.

    Show Notes & Links
    1. The Destination: The town of Agen, France.
    2. The Meal: Kodawari Ramen (Tsukiji) — The restaurant in Paris mentioned by YouTuber Alex (French Guy Cooking), featuring an interior imported from a Tokyo fish market.
    3. The Stat: 30,000 steps (22km) through Paris.
    4. Contact: cmonkxxx@gmail.com

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    1 hr and 15 mins
  • Walk-and-talk: The Pursuit of Meaning vs. Personal Happiness: A French Journal
    Dec 20 2025

    I’m currently walking through the narrow, 13th-century streets of Condom, France, trying to move slowly enough to keep my brain out of "hyper-mode". There is a certain peace here, but it’s a peace complicated by a very modern dilemma: the intersection of personal happiness and responsibility.


    Learning from the Past

    I’ve done the "big move" before. A few years ago, I went to Majorca with the intent to stay forever, but I learned that island life brings a sense of alienation and separation that I wasn't prepared for. Being on the continent feels different—more connected, less reliant on ferries and planes to feel part of the world.

    The Weight of Choice

    The hardest part of this contemplation isn't the logistics; it’s my seven-year-old daughter in Berlin. We are close, and any move here would require frequent travel back to nurture that bond. It’s a trial of the heart. I’ve realized that a frustrated father is of no use to a child, so finding my own happiness in a place like Southern France is, in a way, an investment in her well-being, too.

    Choosing Meaning Over Joy

    Lately, I’ve been questioning the very meaning of life. I’ve come to feel that it isn’t a pursuit of "joy" or "fun" that matters most—it’s the pursuit of meaning. Berlin has felt like a chapter that is closing, and while I feel like an outsider there even after ten years, I’m learning to view my nomadic nature not as a lack of roots, but as a way of opening my mind.

    A New Perspective on "Home"

    A friend recently helped me break out of a "scarcity mindset" regarding where we live. Why must we only have one home? I’m starting to think about a future where "migration" isn't a permanent exit, but a fluid existence between the places that nourish us—whether that’s France, Germany, or even returning to my roots in Poland.

    I'm not on social media, but I am looking for a "tight, communicative audience". If this resonates with your own story of relocation or searching for meaning, please reach out. Let's skip the algorithms and just be human.

    Get in touch with me, by emailing: cmonkxxx@gmail.com

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    21 mins
  • Work Friends, Lack of a personal online presence, and The Need for Sleep as you get older
    Dec 8 2025

    In this free-form episode recorded while walking through the streets of Berlin, I strip away the need to educate and focus on honest connection. I discuss why I skipped the company Christmas boat party and reflect on the confusing, often blurry lines between being a colleague and being a friend.

    As I make my way to my daughter’s school, I also dig into my current creative struggles. Despite having skills in 3D design and Unreal Engine, I feel "invisible" online. I share my plans to finally launch a portfolio website to validate my work, the experience of walking past a VR studio I was too shy to enter, and the hard reality of aging—where protecting my energy and getting enough sleep has become more important than pulling creative all-nighters.

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    22 mins
  • Creative Block: How I Overcame My Podcasting Doubts
    Nov 30 2025

    Today I talk about challenges of creative blocks and the journey to rediscovering our voices. I share my recent struggles with overthinking and self-doubt, questioning the purpose of this podcast and what direction it should take. But through this reflection, I've come to embrace the idea that this show is essentially my personal journal, capturing my day-to-day life and thoughts. Alongside these introspections, I also chat about my recent Black Friday splurges, including some irresistible deals that I couldn't pass up, highlighting the joys and quirks of consumerism. So, let's explore how we can navigate these creative hurdles while finding joy in the little things, all while keeping it light and fun.

    The latest podcast episode dives into the chaotic yet creatively fulfilling journey of the host, who recently faced a creative block that left him questioning the purpose of his show. We explore the highs and lows of his creative process as he reflects on the expectations of modern podcasting versus the authenticity of personal storytelling. The host opens up about his struggles to produce content that feels genuine rather than falling into the trap of algorithm-driven mainstream media. He shares his thoughts on how this pressure can stifle creativity, leading to overthinking and self-doubt. Yet, through candid anecdotes and a light-hearted tone, he reveals how he navigates these challenges, ultimately embracing the essence of his podcast as a personal journal.

    As we delve deeper into the episode, we also discuss the festive chaos of Black Friday shopping, which serves as both a metaphor for excess and a moment of clarity for the host. He humorously recounts his impulsive purchases, including a robot vacuum that brings unexpected joy to his daily routine. This light-hearted segment contrasts with his earlier reflections on creativity, showcasing how everyday life can inspire and distract in equal measure. By the end of the episode, listeners are left with a sense of camaraderie, as the host acknowledges the universal struggles of balancing personal expression with societal expectations, all while maintaining a sprinkle of humor and relatability throughout.

    Takeaways:

    • In this episode, we dive deep into the challenge of creative blocks and how to overcome them while podcasting.
    • I candidly share my experiences with self-doubt regarding the content I create for this podcast and its purpose.
    • We discuss the impact of mainstream content consumption on our creativity and how it shapes our podcasting journey.
    • I reflect on the importance of acknowledging seasonal changes in our lives and how they influence our mood and productivity.
    • This episode also touches on my recent Black Friday purchases and the joy they brought, despite overspending.
    • Finally, we explore the idea of podcasting as a personal journal and the value of uncurated content in today's media landscape.

    Links referenced in this episode:

    • archive.org
    • hostinger.com
    • Unreal Engine Diaries (my other podcast)

    Contact me at

    podcasting tips, overcoming creative block, personal journal podcast, Black Friday deals, parenting podcast, audio journaling, podcasting journey, Berlin podcasting, digital content creation, single dad experiences, Unreal Engine projects, podcast website setup, maintaining podcast quality, mindfulness in podcasting, podcasting without monetization, DIY podcasting, creative challenges, seasonal reflections, family activities, self-expression through podcasting

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    28 mins