Showing results for "Books" in Humorous

The ninth floor. Nine armies, each led by rich and powerful aliens from across the galaxy. Each team has one objective: to capture and hold the castle at the very center of the battlefield. Strategy, alliances, pitched battles, and, of course, betrayal ... It all makes for great fun and even greater television. After all, none of these powerful aliens really die when they’re playing war. Except this time. This time, winner takes all. Those who fall, stay in the ground.

A pantheon of forgotten gods. An old grudge between a talk show host, an heiress, and the man they shattered along the way. A rapidly deteriorating AI system. An inconvenient tiara upon the head of a friend.

24/7 Demon Mart: Publisher's Pack features two books from the 24/7 Demon Mart series: The Graveyard Shift, book one, and Monster Burger, book two. It also includes the bonus Hell for the Holidays, a 24/7 Demon Mart Christmas special. Lloyd Wallace is the most clueless crossing guard the intersection of hell and earth has ever seen. So clueless, that he doesn't even realize the beer cave in the corner store where he works is the gateway to hell.

When Rennick was thirteen, the gods bestowed upon him the name of his fated mate—a human girl. As the sole heir to the Mountain Kingdom, magic bound him to his kingdom until he ascended the throne on his twenty-fifth birthday. As a human, she couldn't cross the magical barrier separating the humans from the fae. Heartsore and consumed with thoughts of her, he did the only thing he could and sent her anonymous letters and gifts… Until he crossed the barrier into her kingdom to claim her as his own.

A lush jungle teeming with danger. Savage dinosaurs seeking blood. A fallen princess intent on vengeance. A mysterious, end-of-floor celebration for the top crawlers, dubbed “The Butcher’s Masquerade”. The sixth floor. The Hunting Grounds. As the remaining crawlers battle for their lives, a new, terrible threat looms. Outside, tourists are finally allowed to enter the game, and they are here and ready to hunt. Among them is Vrah, a famed and veteran hunter, intent on collecting the biggest trophy of her career.

Five friends, gamers for life, gather for their usual game night. Yet, when they use a strange new die they are transported to a fantasy world where all gaming ideas can come true. Together, the party must join forces to deal with the vile Necrolord whose plans will not only threaten this world, but Earth as well. Should be easy for a team of adventurers, but when gaming and real life meet, there are situations which cannot be anticipated.

When it comes to action and adventure, every hero needs a good sidekick. Holmes has Watson, Batman has Robin, and Daniel has . . . Orrin. More like brothers than friends, they always have each other's backs. And as Daniel is the big, strong, handsome type, Orrin is more than happy to remain in his shadow at school, at parties, pretty much everywhere. Then things take a turn for the truly weird when a terrible accident catapults the pair into a world totally unlike their own, in which the rules of a role-playing game hold sway.

The usual result of a human taking a runaway semitruck head-on is a very sudden, very fast track to the pearly gates. But for one newly noncorporeal man, there's another option: become a dungeon. Feeling sorry for the desperate angel assigned to him, the man relents. Heck, if it doesn't work out, he can always chat with Saint Peter about it later. Next thing you know, he's a dungeon. Admittedly, a small run-down, somewhat unimpressive dungeon (more of a house, actually), but you gotta start somewhere, right?

She's unlike any one or any thing else: a Non-Standard Leashed-Intelligence Cybernetic Enforcer aka NSLICE-00P. The first of her kind, she's let loose into a universe of superheroes on behalf of her sinister masters to destroy all who oppose them. And everything's going according to plan—until NSLICE-00P gets hacked and sent into the past to kill her own creator before he creates her. Obeying orders as always, she wastes the poor guy. Unfortunately, there are consequences to initiating a reality-breaking time paradox. The most significant: total ejection from that reality.

A bicycle crashes into me one night, and the next thing I know, I’m a baby? Getting reincarnated in another world populated by humans, demi-humans, and mythical beasts is certainly not the turn I thought my life was going to take. I especially didn’t expect to be carried off by a wolf and given into the care of a one-armed former knight. Now, I’m trying to repay him by rebuilding the family inn and healing his arm with alchemy.

Absalom Scryne, the greatest wizard of his generation, has been murdered. There's no other explanation for why his consciousness now resides in his well-worn but perfectly pointed hat. Well, he isn't going to take that lying down . . . or hanging from a branch, as the case may be.

You meet the most interesting men in medieval prisons. This one time, I met a guy who offered me immortality for the low, low price of changing my diet. I didn’t read the fine print. Because, he wasn’t talking about a gluten-free diet. More like hemoglobin-full. And now, I’m a friggin’ vampire with five centuries of pop culture references.

After years of confrontations, Fred's conflict with his sire at last draws toward a conclusion. Along the way he'll watch centaurs battle for honor, try to stand against a magical aberration, gather ingredients for a mysterious potion, and explore a city of underwater vampires. As Fred learns more about the parahuman world, the origins of vampires, and where he fits into it all, an eventual encounter with Quinn becomes inevitable. One that Fred is determined to see have a final, definite outcome.

All life on Earth has been stolen away by The System. It was transported to another world at the behest of a distant galactic empire that lives in terror of humanity's potential. Ben - just a normal, if not slightly above average guy - had been about to go on the first real vacation of his adult life. But plans changed. Now, he must contend with danger and mystery in a world full of monsters, magic, and treasure. Armed with nothing but his wits and a special item given to him by The System, he embarks on a damn good adventure.

The world is ablaze with great deeds and incredible people. The King of Duels' battle with the King of Destruction is still ringing across the continent of Chandrar, but more adventures are taking place at sea with Niers' students and on Izril's shores. The Horns have arrived in Invrisil at last, and they will soon find out that Gold-rankers they might be, that doesn't guarantee instantaneous respect from other high-level teams. However, a certain [Lady] has also begun her final journey... once again, attention and excitement swing back to The Wandering Inn thanks to a certain magic door!

Brought to you by Penguin. Over 1 million Discworld audiobooks sold – discover the extraordinary universe of Terry Pratchett’s Discworld like never before The audiobook of The Colour of Magic is read by Colin Morgan (Merlin; Testament of Youth; Belfast). BAFTA and Golden Globe award-winning...

Life has handed lemons to Eloise Worthington, so she does what she's always done—made herself a margarita. When a villager is discovered dead on the Gods Complex golf course, Eloise wipes off her tanning oil and sets her marshal hat at a jaunty angle, determined to solve the crime and earn enough brownie points to make it through the pearly gates. During the investigation, she tries her best to ignore her growing attraction to Cole, son of Zeus and her self-proclaimed deputy.

A kinetic manipulator who can turn vibrations into devastating shockwaves, Rattles, has already torn through Eauclaire's defenses. Buildings are in ruins, heroes are falling, and now he's coming for the city's criminal mastermind herself. But a certain gang of teenage girls—who wield powers drawn from the animal kingdom—stands in his way . . . Loyal and cunning, they wreak havoc in the name of their leader, known as the Boss. And thanks to their fight to tip the scales in the war between good and evil, evil always comes out ahead. But the Boss is no hardened villain.

With ailing family to support, Evie Sage's employment status isn't just important, it's vital. So when a mishap with Rennedawn's most infamous Villain results in a job offer—naturally, she says yes. No job is perfect, of course, but even less so when you develop a teeny crush on your terrifying, temperamental, and undeniably hot boss. Don't find evil so attractive, Evie. But just when she's getting used to severed heads suspended from the ceiling and the odd squish of an errant eyeball beneath her heel, Evie suspects this dungeon has a huge rat . . . and not just the literal kind.

Back when things were normal, Orrin the Timid tried saving his best friend, Daniel the Popular, from a runaway truck. But he failed, and the resulting crash landed them both in a world of magic, monsters, and levels. There, Orrin grew from a mild-mannered sidekick into a legit powerhouse, unlocking Administrator-level powers unlike anything else. Still, things are tough for the former zero.